I didn't mean...[he frowns, shaking his head. It isn't the physical lack of experience, but the knowing how any of this works. There is the impulse then—just for a moment—to pull away and hide himself. Instead he takes a steadier breath and holds onto Itachi's hand just a little bit tighter.]
I mean I don't know how relationships work or if that's what this is. [Pause.]
I like kissing you. [He admits after a long pause, trying to force himself out of his head. It seems like a good place to start. It's clear.] I would like to kiss you more. And I'll tell you if I'm uncomfortable. [It isn't something he imagines will ever happen, but reciprocity is important, he knows that at least.]
And if you ever need me to give you space, I'll listen to that too. [Itachi is a private person, and while he knows that he allows Wei Wuxian into his space more than most others, he also knows there are times when he wants to be on his own. He already knows it isn't a condemnation or rejection, and he's going to make himself remember that if his thoughts ever start getting away from him.]
（ wei ying tightens the grip on his hand, and itachi lifts it up in a tangle with his own, resting his cheek against them. with a sort of wry amusement — ）
There are arguments to be made that neither of us know how relationships work or if that is what this is.
（ itachi knows, perhaps too well what being given space can cost his friend, how often it's been used as punishment, and the fact that it is offered so freely makes something in him ache. that, more than anything else, is the impetus that sees him lean forward and press a soft kiss to the corner of the man's mouth. ）
I care for you. You have long been my dearest friend. That comes first for me, and always will. But I have been thinking about what it would be like to kiss you since that day in the snow on Nuhiri, and am not sorry to now know.
[A rapidly spreading blush tints his cheeks and he forces himself to hold Itachi's gaze.]
Since then? [No actually, don't answer that. He doesn't want to have to think about how long he's been wanting this and pretending not to.] You're mine too, Itachi. [His dearest friend. You see me he'd said not so long ago and the word zhiji remains unspoken. His smile reappears.]
And I'm not sorry either. I would like to be even less sorry. [Is that a clever turn of words? Does it even make sense? He doesn't care, Itachi will know what he means.]
（ but it's not a no. this time, the kiss is more deliberate. exploratory. he disentangles their hands now, only to put his to a worthier use — finding a soft grip in the fall of the man's damp hair. ）
[Just like that, their more serious conversation fades and much to Wei Wuxian's delight, Itachi does not return to his book.
Eventually the soft exchange of kisses fades along with Wei Wuxian's slipping wakefulness and he falls into a peaceful sleep, lulled by the tangle of a gentle hand in his hair and the warmth of Itachi's body by his side.
When he wakes again, the sun is high but not so high as his usual waking time (when they are on missions that have a rising sun at least.) It's probably a little after eight if he has to guess. He exhales as he sits up, stretching his arms languidly above his head. He lowers his arms just in time to stifle a yawn, and then begins to take stock of the morning, instinctively searching for his friend.]
（ perhaps it should come as no surprise to find he does actually doze — he has long grown accustomed to having wei ying in his space, albeit not quite so closely. the sound of his breathing, the rise and fall of his chest, all familiar cadences that are now nearly patterned on the fabric of his memory.
but he wakes with the first blush of sun along the horizon, and slips out of bed slowly. a note is left on his pillow in perfect mandarin explaining his absence, training and breakfast and by the time wei ying wakes there is a smell of breakfast below. fish from the local market is fresh and plentiful — not to mention inexpensive — and rice commonly found. more surprising was something resembling dashi broth, repurposed into some manner of miso. pickled vegetables and a light salad round the meal out, and whenever it happens that wei ying ventures downstairs he is sitting at the counter scrolling through a local datapad with a cup of tea not far from his hand. ）
[He's woken to Itachi's presence a dozen—no, dozens—of times before, whether on mission or at the station. He can no longer count the number of nights he's slept in Itachi's room at the station, and they've shared accommodations on missions on a couple of occasions. It might be rare that missions afforded Itachi the means to prepare breakfast, but even that isn't a first.
So Wei Wuxian isn't quite sure why all of it put together gets his heart skipping beats so early in the day as the scent of hot oil and familiar seasonings drifts up into the room where he's eyeing Itachi's note. With a foolish smile he has no intention of showing to Itachi, he steps into the bathroom to wash and change, emerging into the downstairs kitchen with a slightly less dumb looking smile on his face.
His eyes land on Itachi siting at the counter and his heart does that twisty aching thing it's been doing so much lately. The sunlight through the window has lent Itachi a golden glow and for a moment Wei Wuxian wonders if he isn't somehow still sleeping.]
Good morning. [He forces himself to speak, expression warm as he wanders to the counter to serve himself.]
（ there is a hesitation as wei ying comes into the room. something barely perceptible, there and gone. itachi gives him a nod, and when his companion steps up to the countertop itachi hands him a plate. domesticity almost always lives alongside an ache for him. missing something he never truly had — because although his time beneath his father's roof had not been much informed by it, the world he built for izumi was...
(what does it say about him, that the moment he had a world to flesh out and realize, he made it peaceful?)
his mouth sets into a line, and once the man takes the plate, itachi drops his hand against wei ying's elbow and exerts a faint pressure that falls away almost immediately. ）
[If he weren't so attuned to Itachi's mannerisms he might miss that slight pause, but with Itachi, everything means something and so Wei Wuxian takes note. Where the pause comes from though, he doesn't probe. What they're doing here is new for both of them and he doesn't see the need to go poking and prodding every small thing.
He also resists catching Itachi's hand to plant a soft kiss against his knuckles after that elbow squeeze, if only barely. The smile he fixes his friend with likely conveys his warm affection all the same.]
I'm going to look for work in research. Something with field work so that I can travel. I figure the more places I can get to, the more people I can talk to and pick up on any local rumors that sound like the orb's work.
（ hm. he stops, and then takes a moment to collect his thoughts as he plates up his own breakfast. he hadn't wished to eat until wei ying was downstairs — there is something of old cadences long laid to rest, the pulse of a family unit being enlivened by the sharing of food that he had not wished to set aside. ）
I am going to remain here, I think.
（ in and of itself, a departure. itachi has always been quick to enter the fray, dirty his hands. so the thought of him remaining elsewhere, loosening his grip on active engagement...
it tells a story. of someone who has, perhaps, learned to let things go. ）
Warn me ahead of time when you intend to return. I will ensure there is a meal set aside for you.
["You don't have to." He catches himself before the words are out, and this time he doesn't stop himself from reaching out to take Itachi's hand and give it a squeeze. Itachi doesn't have to, he wants to. He wouldn't do it if he didn't want to. Like Itachi's touch to his elbow, the hand squeeze is brief and he pulls it back after just a few seconds.]
Alright, I'll text you. You should let me help cook dinner sometime though. I haven't found any chili peppers here so you don't even have to worry! [Wei Wuxian grins and then returns to his food. It is different for Itachi to play a less active role, and it feels odd, but not in a bad way.]
Do you want me to pick anything up for you while I'm out?
（ wei ying pulls back, and itachi turns his wrist and catches his hand before he can quite back away. he uses that single point of connection like a tether, hauls the man in and presses a kiss against the side of his mouth. there is something exploratory about it, as if the thing done by daylight will differ than by dusk.
for a moment he simply stands in close, unmoving. then he releases him with one final stroke of his thumb against the delicate bones of the man's wrist. ）
Only if something catches your eye. Or if you come across Cubits in need of rehabilitation.
[It is one thing to be kissed. Anyone can kiss, some better than others, some with more enthusiasm than others, but a kiss can be just a kiss.
It is another thing to be beloved, and when Itachi pulls him in to brush his lips against the corner of his mouth, he isn't just kissed, he feels beloved.
It's foolish the way he feels tears spring to his eyes that he carefully blinks back when Itachi steps away. He needs a moment—just a brief one to revel in the feeling, and even though Itachi has let go, he rests his forehead against the man's shoulder, simultaneously hiding his face and maintaining their closeness.]
I like you so much. [The sentiment is hardly new, and for the most part isn't even reflective of the changes in their relationship, but being able to say it like this, that part's new.]
[He lets out some sort of incomprehensible whining sound and then pulls back, leaning in to press a quick kiss to Itachi's cheek before he moves away to properly begin eating. Once he's seated and eating, he asks—]
（ he makes a considering sound, as he slides into the chair opposite wei ying, setting his tray with its small assorted dishes down. a grilled piece of fish makes up the protein, and a smaller salad of pickled greens sits near his right hand as he picks up chopsticks with his left. ）
I have yet to decide. I don't feel especially drawn to the concept. My contract with my summons back home was intended to be for life.
It does feel strange to take charge of a living creature knowing we'll be leaving them behind in a short while. If I do take them on, I don't know how to make sure it's not on me when we find the orb. [What would that even mean for the Cubit? Would it just be stuck in that cubitile until someone found it? He frowns at the thought.]
What was your summons back home? [He pauses and then] Crows?
（ he has not given much thought to how much he misses them, he only knows that he does. it is strange, not to have their presence lurking at the fringes of his mind, and he turns one hand over curiously. ）
They came to me when I was about five years old.
（ not long after he stepped off the cliff above, undecided until he was halfway down as to whether or not he intended to live or die at the bottom. ）
Came to you? [He doesn't know how summons work in Itachi's world. Maybe they're drawn to the people they're willing to make pacts with. It would hardly be the strangest thing he's heard about his world.]
( his lips purse thoughtfully. he has never attempted to quantify it before. truthfully, he kept the contract to himself. it did not feel important — and even then he was private. )
One normally seeks out a contract. There are many clans of animals allied to shinobi families — and if one wishes to pursue the sage arts one must generally befriend the clan chieftain to advance. I am not sure I can explain it except to say that the crows chose me. I have not heard of another being so contracted.
[Wei Wuxian listens with interest, unable to resist comparing notes to his own world's understanding of animals and other life forms. Their worlds are similar enough that he wonders if the animal clans Itachi speaks of are animals that have cultivated sentience in ways not entirely dissimilar to those in his world.]
I've always liked crows. [He admits after a minute.] They're supposed to be bad luck in my culture, but they're intelligent birds, and while most animals were wary of me when I was most saturated with resentful energy, crows didn't fear me. [Their affinity for resentful energy was perhaps one of the reasons they were so heavily associated with bad luck, but Wei Wuxian hadn't ever been troubled by their company. All the trouble he made was his own.]
Are all animals in your world sentient or only some?
（ he wasn't aware of that particular tendency, but he doesn't find it terribly surprising either — even at his worst, corvids had never feared him, either. it's not an unexpected commonality, but what is unexpected is that it feels like a tether across worlds, across lifetimes.
his expression shifts. heartened, almost. ）
Mm. I cannot say how things were before chakra was bestowed upon my world — what records exist of that tumultuous time are scattered and subject to bias — but I am inclined to believe animals did not possess sapience prior. Summon animals are a minority — most can communicate in some fashion, and live in cities or regions according to their custom, and their partnership with humans is a matter of mutual respect and benefit.
（ he has been alone more of his life than not, now. but no amount of solitude could ever divorce him from knowing his crows were only a heartbeat and handspan away. he does not often dwell on their lack and had — in fact — trained himself to view them only as a tool. a means to an end. but for a moment of brief sentiment, he aches in the absence. ）
Animals generally cannot be forced into service against their will, save by those in possession of the Sharingan. But that is rare, even among the Uchiha.
[He can't believe he's even thinking it, but if he'd lived in Itachi's world, he might have actually given up meat. He isn't sure how he'd feel about potentially eating something that could communicate and form its own cities. What if he accidentally ate one of the wrong animals? Instead of voicing that disturbing thought, he opts for focusing on the other mildly disturbing information.
Or, well, it would be mildly disturbing if it weren't Itachi. From Itachi he finds himself both surprised and entirely not. Why shouldn't the Sharingan be able to control the wills of others?]
Is that something you can do? [The question is all curiosity, without a hint of judgment in it. Whether Itachi had ever subjected any animal or person to it...given what he knows of his past, it's entirely possible. Who he was then informs his present but it doesn't define it, not for Wei Wuxian.
And anyway, if Wei Wuxian had possessed an ability like that when the sects came for the Wen, he wouldn't have hesitated to use it.]
（ normally, such a question would warrant consideration, no matter whether he planned to answer to the affirmative or not. it would afford a long silence, followed by his choice on the matter. in nearly no circumstance would he be wholly honest.
he has spoken of the sharingan to precious few. the few times he has troubled himself to mention genjutsu, he has framed it as harmless illusory magic. magic, not a shinobi technique — he has frequently found it more convenient to let that misconception abridge what he says and what others know of him.
if they wish to call it magic, it is no especial business of his.
wei ying, by contrast, gets only a brief press of his mouth into a line. and then itachi opens his mouth and does not lie: ）
[It's the thinning of his lips despite how brief it is that makes him sober and consider the weight of the admission. It isn't just that Itachi is a private person. He has always been more private about his abilities than almost anything else, and Wei Wuxian knows that the Sharingan was a weapon both feared and desired by many that led to some form of discrimination against the Uchiha.
His mind drifts to all that Jin Guangshan was willing to do to try and take the Yin Tiger seal from him and then what that vile man might have been willing to do for something that could take control of the minds of his enemies. It's a terrifying thought and one that makes him shudder.
It really isn't a small admission.]
Was it commonly known that the Sharingan was capable of this? [He asks, brow furrowed as he considers the ramifications of an affirmative answer.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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I mean I don't know how relationships work or if that's what this is. [Pause.]
I like kissing you. [He admits after a long pause, trying to force himself out of his head. It seems like a good place to start. It's clear.] I would like to kiss you more. And I'll tell you if I'm uncomfortable. [It isn't something he imagines will ever happen, but reciprocity is important, he knows that at least.]
And if you ever need me to give you space, I'll listen to that too. [Itachi is a private person, and while he knows that he allows Wei Wuxian into his space more than most others, he also knows there are times when he wants to be on his own. He already knows it isn't a condemnation or rejection, and he's going to make himself remember that if his thoughts ever start getting away from him.]
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There are arguments to be made that neither of us know how relationships work or if that is what this is.
（ itachi knows, perhaps too well what being given space can cost his friend, how often it's been used as punishment, and the fact that it is offered so freely makes something in him ache. that, more than anything else, is the impetus that sees him lean forward and press a soft kiss to the corner of the man's mouth. ）
I care for you. You have long been my dearest friend. That comes first for me, and always will. But I have been thinking about what it would be like to kiss you since that day in the snow on Nuhiri, and am not sorry to now know.
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Since then? [No actually, don't answer that. He doesn't want to have to think about how long he's been wanting this and pretending not to.] You're mine too, Itachi. [His dearest friend. You see me he'd said not so long ago and the word zhiji remains unspoken. His smile reappears.]
And I'm not sorry either. I would like to be even less sorry. [Is that a clever turn of words? Does it even make sense? He doesn't care, Itachi will know what he means.]
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（ but it's not a no. this time, the kiss is more deliberate. exploratory. he disentangles their hands now, only to put his to a worthier use — finding a soft grip in the fall of the man's damp hair. ）
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Eventually the soft exchange of kisses fades along with Wei Wuxian's slipping wakefulness and he falls into a peaceful sleep, lulled by the tangle of a gentle hand in his hair and the warmth of Itachi's body by his side.
When he wakes again, the sun is high but not so high as his usual waking time (when they are on missions that have a rising sun at least.) It's probably a little after eight if he has to guess. He exhales as he sits up, stretching his arms languidly above his head. He lowers his arms just in time to stifle a yawn, and then begins to take stock of the morning, instinctively searching for his friend.]
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but he wakes with the first blush of sun along the horizon, and slips out of bed slowly. a note is left on his pillow in perfect mandarin explaining his absence, training and breakfast and by the time wei ying wakes there is a smell of breakfast below. fish from the local market is fresh and plentiful — not to mention inexpensive — and rice commonly found. more surprising was something resembling dashi broth, repurposed into some manner of miso. pickled vegetables and a light salad round the meal out, and whenever it happens that wei ying ventures downstairs he is sitting at the counter scrolling through a local datapad with a cup of tea not far from his hand. ）
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So Wei Wuxian isn't quite sure why all of it put together gets his heart skipping beats so early in the day as the scent of hot oil and familiar seasonings drifts up into the room where he's eyeing Itachi's note. With a foolish smile he has no intention of showing to Itachi, he steps into the bathroom to wash and change, emerging into the downstairs kitchen with a slightly less dumb looking smile on his face.
His eyes land on Itachi siting at the counter and his heart does that twisty aching thing it's been doing so much lately. The sunlight through the window has lent Itachi a golden glow and for a moment Wei Wuxian wonders if he isn't somehow still sleeping.]
Good morning. [He forces himself to speak, expression warm as he wanders to the counter to serve himself.]
You cooked! [Obviously.] It smells good.
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(what does it say about him, that the moment he had a world to flesh out and realize, he made it peaceful?)
his mouth sets into a line, and once the man takes the plate, itachi drops his hand against wei ying's elbow and exerts a faint pressure that falls away almost immediately. ）
Yes. What are your plans for the day?
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He also resists catching Itachi's hand to plant a soft kiss against his knuckles after that elbow squeeze, if only barely. The smile he fixes his friend with likely conveys his warm affection all the same.]
I'm going to look for work in research. Something with field work so that I can travel. I figure the more places I can get to, the more people I can talk to and pick up on any local rumors that sound like the orb's work.
What about you?
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（ hm. he stops, and then takes a moment to collect his thoughts as he plates up his own breakfast. he hadn't wished to eat until wei ying was downstairs — there is something of old cadences long laid to rest, the pulse of a family unit being enlivened by the sharing of food that he had not wished to set aside. ）
I am going to remain here, I think.
（ in and of itself, a departure. itachi has always been quick to enter the fray, dirty his hands. so the thought of him remaining elsewhere, loosening his grip on active engagement...
it tells a story. of someone who has, perhaps, learned to let things go. ）
Warn me ahead of time when you intend to return. I will ensure there is a meal set aside for you.
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Alright, I'll text you. You should let me help cook dinner sometime though. I haven't found any chili peppers here so you don't even have to worry! [Wei Wuxian grins and then returns to his food. It is different for Itachi to play a less active role, and it feels odd, but not in a bad way.]
Do you want me to pick anything up for you while I'm out?
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for a moment he simply stands in close, unmoving. then he releases him with one final stroke of his thumb against the delicate bones of the man's wrist. ）
Only if something catches your eye. Or if you come across Cubits in need of rehabilitation.
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It is another thing to be beloved, and when Itachi pulls him in to brush his lips against the corner of his mouth, he isn't just kissed, he feels beloved.
It's foolish the way he feels tears spring to his eyes that he carefully blinks back when Itachi steps away. He needs a moment—just a brief one to revel in the feeling, and even though Itachi has let go, he rests his forehead against the man's shoulder, simultaneously hiding his face and maintaining their closeness.]
I like you so much. [The sentiment is hardly new, and for the most part isn't even reflective of the changes in their relationship, but being able to say it like this, that part's new.]
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（ it's said good-naturedly, amused rather than self-deprecatory. but he does lift a hand, and cup his palm against the nape of his companion's neck. ）
Come. Eat breakfast before it cools.
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Do you plan to take on any Cubits of your own?
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I have yet to decide. I don't feel especially drawn to the concept. My contract with my summons back home was intended to be for life.
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It does feel strange to take charge of a living creature knowing we'll be leaving them behind in a short while. If I do take them on, I don't know how to make sure it's not on me when we find the orb. [What would that even mean for the Cubit? Would it just be stuck in that cubitile until someone found it? He frowns at the thought.]
What was your summons back home? [He pauses and then] Crows?
cw: suicidality
（ he has not given much thought to how much he misses them, he only knows that he does. it is strange, not to have their presence lurking at the fringes of his mind, and he turns one hand over curiously. ）
They came to me when I was about five years old.
（ not long after he stepped off the cliff above, undecided until he was halfway down as to whether or not he intended to live or die at the bottom. ）
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One normally seeks out a contract. There are many clans of animals allied to shinobi families — and if one wishes to pursue the sage arts one must generally befriend the clan chieftain to advance. I am not sure I can explain it except to say that the crows chose me. I have not heard of another being so contracted.
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I've always liked crows. [He admits after a minute.] They're supposed to be bad luck in my culture, but they're intelligent birds, and while most animals were wary of me when I was most saturated with resentful energy, crows didn't fear me. [Their affinity for resentful energy was perhaps one of the reasons they were so heavily associated with bad luck, but Wei Wuxian hadn't ever been troubled by their company. All the trouble he made was his own.]
Are all animals in your world sentient or only some?
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his expression shifts. heartened, almost. ）
Mm. I cannot say how things were before chakra was bestowed upon my world — what records exist of that tumultuous time are scattered and subject to bias — but I am inclined to believe animals did not possess sapience prior. Summon animals are a minority — most can communicate in some fashion, and live in cities or regions according to their custom, and their partnership with humans is a matter of mutual respect and benefit.
（ he has been alone more of his life than not, now. but no amount of solitude could ever divorce him from knowing his crows were only a heartbeat and handspan away. he does not often dwell on their lack and had — in fact — trained himself to view them only as a tool. a means to an end. but for a moment of brief sentiment, he aches in the absence. ）
Animals generally cannot be forced into service against their will, save by those in possession of the Sharingan. But that is rare, even among the Uchiha.
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Or, well, it would be mildly disturbing if it weren't Itachi. From Itachi he finds himself both surprised and entirely not. Why shouldn't the Sharingan be able to control the wills of others?]
Is that something you can do? [The question is all curiosity, without a hint of judgment in it. Whether Itachi had ever subjected any animal or person to it...given what he knows of his past, it's entirely possible. Who he was then informs his present but it doesn't define it, not for Wei Wuxian.
And anyway, if Wei Wuxian had possessed an ability like that when the sects came for the Wen, he wouldn't have hesitated to use it.]
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he has spoken of the sharingan to precious few. the few times he has troubled himself to mention genjutsu, he has framed it as harmless illusory magic. magic, not a shinobi technique — he has frequently found it more convenient to let that misconception abridge what he says and what others know of him.
if they wish to call it magic, it is no especial business of his.
wei ying, by contrast, gets only a brief press of his mouth into a line. and then itachi opens his mouth and does not lie: ）
Yes.
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His mind drifts to all that Jin Guangshan was willing to do to try and take the Yin Tiger seal from him and then what that vile man might have been willing to do for something that could take control of the minds of his enemies. It's a terrifying thought and one that makes him shudder.
It really isn't a small admission.]
Was it commonly known that the Sharingan was capable of this? [He asks, brow furrowed as he considers the ramifications of an affirmative answer.]
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