ic inbox;

[blackfire]

// うちは

TEXT • AUDIO • VIDEO • ACTION
MIRROR

XIMILIA

Comments

[singlelogbridge]

oh that's right, I remember now! Hmm but what about a meal not just a sweet?

[blackfire]

I'm fond of cabbage.

（ itachi that's. not a meal. ）

[singlelogbridge]

what are you, a rabbit? How is that a meal?

How about cabbage soup?

[blackfire]

I have little preference for how it's prepared. Soup is fine.

I like yamitsuki as well.

[singlelogbridge]

[Brb, asking Siri Viveca for a recipe.]

Oh, that sounds good. Alright, I have enough information for future totally not nefarious purposes, thanks.

And in the meantime, cocoa. You know we don't have chocolate where I'm from? I looked it up a while ago. It doesn't reach my part of the world for a while longer.

[blackfire]

I do appreciate that you've given up on trying to be subtle as you are aware I will realize it, and also call you on it.

Miso-glazed salmon is also adequate.

（ #helping. ）

That does not surprise me. It would have required a more robust trade route than what was available to your time.

[singlelogbridge]

It's so hard with food, I have no frame of reference. I mean I can guess at things you might like, but favorites are another story. Also you're unfairly good at reading me. I texted you your name and you knew I was in trouble! [No he's still not over that. He might not ever be over that.]

[blackfire]

1) You have never failed to use proper punctuation and grammar with me before. It was obvious you were under some manner of duress that was translating to the earpiece's automatic transmission.
2) You posed my name as a question, and added no further context. You had never done that previously and have not done it since. （ this does not count, as it fails to achieve the same parameters. ）
3) You are not careless, but you are entirely willing to put yourself in danger when you have identified a need for such a thing.
4) I have known you now for years.
5) I'm an Uchiha.

[singlelogbridge]

I like you so much Uchiha Itachi [What a weirdo. What a perfectly ridiculous human being. Wei Wuxian actually lifts a hand to his chest to rest over his heart, just for a moment.]

The miso-glazed salmon has been noted.

And I was thinking about the chocolate because if I don't get to stay, I keep thinking "Oh I'll miss this" before I remember I won't. It's such a strange feeling.

[blackfire]

I know. I have given up attempting to correct your feelings.

（ the exasperated fondness is probably quite evident, there. ）

Do you wish to discuss the matter?

（ the possibilities. their regrets.

he has no especial desire to do so for himself — his mind and heart are in alignment on the matter for perhaps the first time in his life. but he does not mind listening. ）

[singlelogbridge]

I don't know. I think, maybe. It's not that I've changed my mind about anything back home, it's just.

Maybe we can talk over cocoa? It's almost done.

[blackfire]

Very well.

I will meet you there.

[singlelogbridge]

[He's waiting beneath a snow covered pine, one mug of hot cocoa in each hand and his breath steaming in the artificial cold. His eyes are faraway, but they return to his surroundings shortly, less because he hears or feels any sense of Itachi approaching, and more because he knows to expect him.

When Itachi doesn't immediately appear, he take a minute to shuffle both mugs to one arm and tug the dark purple scarf wrapped around his neck a little tighter before adjusting the cocoa to his hands again.

There are more people than usual in the sunlight room as there usually are at this time of year thanks to the cozy setup Viveca has created for them. Wei Wuxian appreciates the warm ambiance of it, but he's still picked a tree some distance away from the crowds, hoping for more privacy.]

[blackfire]

（ he is dressed in one of the festival sweaters but has foregone the scarf (after all, it can be used to restrain your motion and injure you). still, he looks warm, hands tucked into the pockets of a baggy pair of pants.

when he reaches wei ying's side, he reaches out to take one of the two cups. ）

Shall we walk?

[singlelogbridge]

[As always when Itachi joins him, Wei Wuxian feels himself immediately buoyed by the other man's presence, a warmth flooding his chest that has nothing to do with the warm drink in hand.]

Mmm. [He agrees cheerfully, using his free hand to sketch a glowing red sigil into the air—a variation on the silencing talisman that will muffle their speech to anyone listening in. It isn't necessary at all, but he'd been wanting to try it out, and it makes him feel better.]

Is the cocoa good?

[blackfire]

（ the talisman gets a curious look, but it draws no commentary. he can guess by the sigils what it's meant to do. ）

Yes.

（ it's said as they fall into step side-by-each. he maintains a polite distance — mindful of watching eyes and his own preference for privacy. ）

[singlelogbridge]

[For a while, they walk in peaceable silence, Wei Wuxian gathering his thoughts knowing that Itachi will wait patiently as he does so. In the end he isn't sure he manages to figure out how to put his thoughts to words, but he has to start somewhere.]

I'm at peace with my death. Maybe even with my life. I don't feel any sorrow over its end. When I got here, I was eager to do what I could for my regret and then fade away to nothing.

[He pauses in his steps for just a second and then resumes walking, fingers curling around his mug.]

It feels so selfish to want anything more than what's already been given.

cw: suicide mention

[blackfire]

（ he gives his friend a sideways look. and then: ）

It isn't selfish to want to live.

（ his own feelings are... complicated, but in truth, he still has no especial desire to be alive. what he does have a desire for, ultimately, is to serve. to be useful. and if that means living, he will do so unflinching.

but. as far as wei ying knows — his end is final. and itachi knows it is not. ）

You should speak to Huaisang.

[singlelogbridge]

[There is something hidden there and it isn't the first time Wei Wuxian has begun to suspect. It is the first time Itachi is the one to engender the feeling. He has purposely ignored the signs, glancing away at anything that didn't add up, but now...so close to the end and with Itachi the one to encourage him, he nods.]

Okay. [A sigh.] In truth, I've been thinking I should, for a while. [Wei Wuxian has always been best at lying to himself until he isn't.]

But whatever Nie Huaisang has to say is...that isn't what this is about.

It isn't that I want to live, not exactly. It's that I'm happy. Or, I'm at peace. Here, aboard the Ximilia, with you and all the others. I never expected that. It's the first time I've felt like this.

[blackfire]

（ unbidden, perhaps, itachi shifts his hot chocolate to his right hand, and then reaches down with his left.

it is a subtle movement. it would not be discernible at a distance. but for a moment, he laces his fingers with wei ying's, and squeezes.

it is over as quickly as it came, and then he is drinking his cocoa left-handed again like a sleight of hand. ）

Mm. （ it's a neutral noise. agreeable in its own way. ）

So, what will you choose?

[singlelogbridge]

If it's my choice it's no choice at all. [The smile he fixes Itachi with is warm with affection.]

I want to stay.

But I'm afraid that it may not be a choice the orbs allow me to make. And if this is the end, I...[He pauses, closes his eyes and takes a shuttering breath, calming the sudden surge of emotion rising in him.]

I don't want to lose this. I want...I want time. Time for us. Time to learn more about myself. Time to tease Viveca and do a thousand other things.

[blackfire]

（ he is silent for a long moment.

then, softly: ）

I can give you that.

（ wei ying is the only person still aboard the station who knows that tsukuyomi can affect one's perception of time. ）

[singlelogbridge]

[It takes him a moment and when he gets it he has to stop himself from reaching for Itachi's face to pull him in and press their foreheads together.]

Maybe. Not yet. We aren't there yet. [Maybe he'll get to stay.]

What would it feel like for you? Do you experience it the same way I do?

[blackfire]

Yes.

（ he has lived so many more years than he ever intended to, within tsukuyomi. ）

[singlelogbridge]

[He lets out a shuddered breath of relief. That makes it a little easier he guesses, even if it isn't real. It would be real to both of them and that's something.]

Can you take us somewhere now? Do you need privacy to use it?