[She nods a little in agreement and eats some candy. She's not surprised he gets it. And in a way, she is excited to talk about it with someone from a similar background, who might understand.
Other people have expressed sympathy about her past, and she appreciates that but that's not the same as actually understanding the experience. ]
In the Red Room sometimes, we would have to kill each other to pass a test and move forward with training. To continue existing. It is hard to make friends in that situation. And harder keep them.
I am free now, so I can make friends, but it's tricky. I don't always think like other people. And trust is hard, you know? Both giving it and earning it.
๏ผ he is not immune to empathy — he knows what it is like, to live beneath that dark shadow. his expression flickers, brow faintly furrowed, and then smoothes back out. ๏ผ
That is a common gauntlet in shinobi villages as well. Many people believe that sentiment indicates weakness, and so should be excised.
๏ผ love has only ever given him strength. what of it he's cauterized has been by necessity. ๏ผ
๏ผ the best way to ensure the compliance of a tool is to isolate them, break them down until they will obey only because it's better than being alone, praise and punishment in equal measure. men like zabuza and kisame were made to be what they are on purpose. and their handlers act so surprised when they bite the hand. ๏ผ
But you survived it. Your future is yours to shape how you wish.
Yes, that is true. I think that is why I don't mind being here on the Ximilia. In some ways I have more freedom here.
[Her skill set is pretty specific. Back home she's still an assassin. She's not sure what else she can do that she is good at and pays well. Here she feels like can apply her skills differently, more like she did right after the Red Room fell when she was helping the Widows. She feels like she has room to breathe to figure things out.]
๏ผ it's a soft noise of agreement, but he does not elaborate. instead, refocusing on what lead them here: ๏ผ
So, your question of friendship — the whistle is important to you, and you do not wish to tell someone who is not a friend?
๏ผ that's his take on her ... not resistance, but the way she had maneuvered around the subject. he does not object to it, and isn't offended in the least. it makes sense. some things are precious. ๏ผ
๏ผ he doesn't say it cruelly, or as a thing meant in pettiness or spite, though he does not expect she would take it that way regardless — they know what they are. it is just that trust is a prickly issue for him — both as a thing given and received. he would not advise anyone trust him at all. ๏ผ
But I hope there is someone here for you one day that earns it.
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no subject
[She nods a little in agreement and eats some candy. She's not surprised he gets it. And in a way, she is excited to talk about it with someone from a similar background, who might understand.
Other people have expressed sympathy about her past, and she appreciates that but that's not the same as actually understanding the experience. ]
In the Red Room sometimes, we would have to kill each other to pass a test and move forward with training. To continue existing. It is hard to make friends in that situation. And harder keep them.
I am free now, so I can make friends, but it's tricky. I don't always think like other people. And trust is hard, you know? Both giving it and earning it.
no subject
That is a common gauntlet in shinobi villages as well. Many people believe that sentiment indicates weakness, and so should be excised.
๏ผ love has only ever given him strength. what of it he's cauterized has been by necessity. ๏ผ
no subject
[Not that she's bitter, but she might be a little bitter.]
no subject
๏ผ the best way to ensure the compliance of a tool is to isolate them, break them down until they will obey only because it's better than being alone, praise and punishment in equal measure. men like zabuza and kisame were made to be what they are on purpose. and their handlers act so surprised when they bite the hand. ๏ผ
But you survived it. Your future is yours to shape how you wish.
no subject
Yes, that is true. I think that is why I don't mind being here on the Ximilia. In some ways I have more freedom here.
[Her skill set is pretty specific. Back home she's still an assassin. She's not sure what else she can do that she is good at and pays well. Here she feels like can apply her skills differently, more like she did right after the Red Room fell when she was helping the Widows. She feels like she has room to breathe to figure things out.]
no subject
๏ผ it's a soft noise of agreement, but he does not elaborate. instead, refocusing on what lead them here: ๏ผ
So, your question of friendship — the whistle is important to you, and you do not wish to tell someone who is not a friend?
๏ผ that's his take on her ... not resistance, but the way she had maneuvered around the subject. he does not object to it, and isn't offended in the least. it makes sense. some things are precious. ๏ผ
no subject
Yes, that's right. She only shared it with someone she trusted completely and who trusted her in return. I feel like it should be the same for me.
no subject
๏ผ he doesn't say it cruelly, or as a thing meant in pettiness or spite, though he does not expect she would take it that way regardless — they know what they are. it is just that trust is a prickly issue for him — both as a thing given and received. he would not advise anyone trust him at all. ๏ผ
But I hope there is someone here for you one day that earns it.