[He listens closely as Itachi speaks, not finding anything that contradicts or confirms what he's learned. It's unsurprising if only because if Itachi suspected the man of being as devious as Huaisang and Mal have suggested, he doesn't think he would have kept it from him.]
I've been getting to know a man here named Mal. He told me about a general from his world called the "Darkling" and the "Black Heretic." He's what they call a Grisha—people born with the powers to manipulate elements and other things.
I saw Kirigan and Mal arguing on the network. It was obvious they knew each other, and Mal called him General, so I asked him and he admitted Kirigan is the general he was talking about. Kirigan's a Grisha who's more than four hundred years old and who's responsible for creating something they call "The Fold." It's a stretch of land that tore their country in half and created a land miles wide full of shadows and monsters that no one can cross.
You and I both know that having power doesn't make someone a monster, but he's used that power to harm innocent people. [And, more pointedly for Wei Wuxian] And he used it to harm a woman who is here from his world. He "leashed" her and made her watch him hurt others.
Mal didn't tell me that, Huaisang did. She told him. And he has everyone here fooled.
（ he listens to this in thoughtful silence, though his eyes do not leave wei wuxian as he speaks. these are serious accusations, and he does not doubt mal or huaisang or what the man was told (and he is making a list immediately of who the woman may be) — but it does not escape his notice that anyone from his world could say similarly of his own sundry sins.
he is seated in his chair, legs crossed at the ankle, one arm resting placidly on the armrest. ）
No. [The fact that Huaisang and not Mal had told him about her makes him feel that whoever she is, Mal was trying to protect her privacy. It would take very little effort to figure out who she is though, and given all that's been laid out, he's not sure he can afford not to speak with her on it.
He sighs and folds his arms over his chest, expression solemn.]
You told me once that Viveca and Degar screened the crewmates for suitability. But the way Huaisang talked about him...[He drifts off and finally moves to seat himself at the edge of Itachi's bed to sit across from him.]
Mal said he was a threat. That he would do anything and harm anyone if they stood in his way of getting what he wanted.
Maybe no one has stood in his way here yet, but I don't want to wait for that to happen, Itachi.
（ he is silent a long moment, and then apropos of nothing he rises to begin making tea. he suspects they may be at this for a time yet. as he works, filling a pot, setting it on a warmer — ）
As much as I do not doubt Huaisang, （ he begins, with something like weariness catching faint and fractal on the edges of his words, ） someone else could very easily be having this same conversation about me based on public knowledge in my world. There are always more sides than what we see, and I do not believe it is wise to act on such knowledge without being close enough to the situation to make our own determinations.
（ he is not averse to eradicating a threat, but given what wei wuxian says about his powers, he would also be loathe to engage him directly without knowing more. ideally, at his assassin's core, it would never even be a fight. ）
I have a few ideas about who this woman may be. It means little that the target of his abuses has not revealed his nature — （ it could be that she is afraid of him. it could be that she is protecting him. there is something uncomfortably familiar in that, and there is a brief pinch to one corner of his mouth. ） but she may have her own reasons for not speaking up. Let me consult with her, and with Viveca. （ a faint pause. then — ） And please, do not take this to mean you should confront him on your own.
（ he doesn't think that he would, necessarily. he is just... you know, covering his bases. ）
[A scowl works it way across his features and he straightens his shoulders, an argument rising to his tongue. Despite how he wants to deny it though, he knows that Itachi is right. The steam goes out of him and he looks away, arms still tight across his chest.]
I know. [He snaps, and then flinches, regretful. Itachi spoke of himself, but he isn't the only one in the room who fits the bill. The irony of them talking about this isn't lost on him.
Again, softer this time.] I know. Me too. [It's an awful thing to admit and it makes bile rise in him, but it's true and he doesn't have the right to pretend otherwise. The idea that Itachi could have anything in common with this man though...No. No matter what Itachi has done, he can't believe it. Wei Wuxian's story isn't as straightforward as people may believe, though he'd certainly made his mistakes, and Itachi's words seem to echo that sentiment.
And he's never doubted it anyway. Whatever horrors lay in Itachi's past, there was a reason beyond want of power.]
I'll wait until you talk to them. [And then, because it itches under his skin to stay silent, he adds] You're not the same.
（ again, silence subsumes them as itachi pours them both a cup of tea. his motions are serene, and his expression unreadable, but self-loathing like burnt, black tar has crept over every surface in his mind and dug in its claws. as he sits again, casual, one hand curled about his cup —
made her watch him hurt others.
how many times had he forced sasuke to relive the massacre? those screams cling to his every waking thought. there were times, when he was young, that he thought he would never close his eyes again without seeing his brother's broken-open expression the moment he realized it was itachi who had slain their parents, had stood over their corpses while they cooled in the evening air. discipline had forced him past the worst of it, but it still catches him unawares in moments like this. his palms itch where the crossbraid of his sword's ito left its impressions there with how tightly he had gripped it then. ）
Please keep in mind that what you know of me is what I have shown you.
（ it's faintly curt, no other inflection clings to it. but it has something of a warning living in those words, too, for wei wuxian to drop it. ）
[There is a war at play in Wei Wuxian's eyes if Itachi raises his own to look. He reads that warning loud and clear, and knows that if he pushes, it'll be overstepping. But the instinct to deny it, to argue and insist is there in him. Itachi is a good person. He is a good person who has done horrible things, but he is good and kind. His instincts are protective, not cruel. His kindness isn't feigned. And he wants badly to vocalize these thoughts to his friend and spell out all the ways in which he can prove his point.
But the memory of Newt's words stills his tongue. The memory of how they'd felt like a blade sinking slowly into his gut, of how it had burned and made him curl up in a corner and weep. How they'd felt like a denial of the pain he'd caused others, dismissing all of the death and misery as nothing.
You don't know me, Itachi says and Wei Wuxian would argue otherwise, but he won't. Not when he knows what it's like to be on the receiving end of that.
Eventually he sighs and looks away, uttering only a soft,] I do. [And then lets it go. It isn't the argument he wants to insist on, but it's a small defiance, and one he hopes won't harm his friend the way Newt harmed him all those weeks ago.]
Will you speak to them soon? [He changes the subject and hopes that it's a kindness.]
（ there is no indication in his expression or otherwise that this is taken as mercy. truth be told, even that rankles — but rather than pursue the matter, or insist when every line in wei wuxian's body is protesting against him — he simply gestures for wei wuxian to join him in drinking tea. ）
Yes.
（ he's already pulling up alina's inbox, to see if his instincts are correct. he can multitask. it will help clear the mind. ）
[After a long moment he nods and his expression lightens some, though it doesn't entirely ease as he moves to join Itachi for tea.]
Do you remember the man I warned you about? Jin Guangshan? [It's rhetorical, he knows Itachi remembers.] Huaisang drew a comparison.
Whatever that woman told him, it was enough to make him think of that man. And I know they can't be alike, not entirely. [Wei Wuxian's mouth twists.] For all that Jin Guangshan was a powerful malicious bastard, he was quick to anger, and obvious. He didn't fool anyone. If there's someone like that here, but smart and good at deceiving people...[His expression darkens and he doesn't finish his sentence.]
（ alina has replied, quick and defensive as he thought she might be, and itachi lifts his eyes to study wei wuxian. ）
If there is someone like that here, we will deal with it as it becomes necessary to deal with it. Speculation is useless.
（ they can prevaricate on the what-ifs and the maybes for days without cease — but the fact of the matter is, any preemptive action they take would reflect much more poorly on them than on a man who can spin it into a narrative of his victimization. even conclusive evidence may likely not be enough when so many aboard the ximilia are driven more by feelings than facts. ）
Kirigan has been here longer than I have. He has had time to lay his foundation. Deconstructing it... mm.
（ such anger would reveal much, and be wasteful besides. all this, on behalf of strangers he barely knows — wei wuxian's curious tendency to put himself all-in on the line at even an imagined threat for those he considers unable to defend themselves.
[He lets out a disgruntled noise of complaint and then reaches for his tea, taking a long sip before sitting quietly in his thoughts. He isn't actually going to go punch the man unwarranted (at least for now) if only because it would open up a lot of questions that could potentially put others here at risk, but it's nice to dream.]
Hey. [He keeps his eyes on the tea, refusing to look up as he rubs at the top of his nose with the side of a finger; a nervous habit he's never managed to break.] I know we don't know anything for sure, but could you do me a favor and warn Gwen?
She's taking some time away right now and. I don't see her as much. ["As much" meaning "at all" but he's trying to downplay it. If it weren't for the Kirigan issue, he wouldn't bring it up at all, but there's no way to ask Itachi to warn her without offering some kind of explanation.]
（ there is blood in the water. he could find its source easily enough. pressure applied in the right places. he knows what to do, what to say, to make wei wuxian fold like a paper crane.
instead, he rubs his thumb against the lip of his cup, and acquiesces with a nod. ）
Very well. Would you like to stay with me until we leave for the mission?
[The exhale of relief he lets out is subtle and barely noticeable, and a second later he's summoning a weary smile and shaking his head.]
Ah, no, it's fine! I've got a perfectly good room! [One that feels horribly empty without her, but he's not going to make himself a burden on someone else for such a stupid reason. The brief smile fades into something more appropriate to the recent discussion and he lifts his gaze again.]
And thanks for hearing me out on all of this. I've never been good at being patient about these things but...things are different here. [He risks a lot more than himself here for one, and it's not like he can just make a scene and fuck off like he would have at home.]
[No, he hasn't. Wei Wuxian snorts softly but doesn't argue.
He's quiet for a few minutes after, sipping at his tea until there's nothing left and he can no longer justify his presence. Still, he doesn't rise to leave, expression twisting in contemplation.]
When you speak to Viveca, if she has it managed, I'll leave him alone. [It's not...a great outcome, and it doesn't mean he won't still consider warning more people, but it'll have to do for now.]
You trust her, don't you? [He hasn't stated it outright, but it seems that way.]
（ his track record of putting his faith in those with power has been pocked with betrayal. perhaps he shouldn't. perhaps he wouldn't, if things had gone differently. but her reaction to him at the first, and their subsequent rapport... if he is retreading old mistakes, it is with a clearer and settled mind.
he has always wanted to have belief in others. to trust. it was the cruelties of a wartorn world that took those things from him, and he is learning to claw them back. he wants to have faith, and has decided to put that faith in her unflinching. ）
She and I had a rather... curious beginning. Without it, I do not think I would have trusted her so readily.
[It goes a long way, Itachi's trust. He'd be stupid not to know by now how precious a thing it is. That Viveca has earned it speaks highly of her character.
It's a response that catches his attention though, and he tilts his head slightly.]
Curious? [Possibly it's too personal to share, but in that case he trusts his friend to simply say as much.]
（ there is amusement there, dogging the heels of his words. ）
Not intending to — in my ignorance I asked if she had been human once. She took that to mean that I could not trust a machine. We had something of a disagreement in what followed, and perhaps an exchange of veiled threats.
（ it is not a perfectly accurate representation of his conversation with viveca, but it is the one he offers. what words they exchanged were personal, and while he does not mind imparting the spirit of their discussion he will not offer the letter. ）
Once it became clear that I was not asking the question as some cruel jibe, we arrived at an understanding with one-another. I told her then I would keep my theories about her prior existence to myself, and she... （ he reaches up, briefly, and drags the tips of his fingers against his cheekbone, just below his eye. ） Assisted me in overcoming the illness that had claimed my life in my home.
[In the wake of his explanation, Wei Wuxian doesn't immediately respond. A thoughtful look crosses his features and eventually he shakes his head back and forth, exhaling a huff of amusement.]
You have a habit of befriending your enemies, don't you? [He raises a hand before Itachi can interject and adds] At least here. Not that Viveca was your enemy, but you know what I mean. [He grins lightly at Itachi, and doesn't voice the question that's plaguing him now.
He hadn't known Itachi had died from an illness. Given what he knows of Itachi's life, it's honestly a little bit shocking. Still, as curious as he is about that new bit of information, now doesn't seem the right time to ask.]
（ it's rare that he's caught so entirely off-guard that he's stunned to speechlessness. he is silent for a time, brows drawn down in disconcertion, and then — ）
[His smile dims for just a moment before he catches it. Wei Wuxian's sure that if it had been an option for Itachi in his home world, he'd have taken peace.
It would be a foolish thing to bring up Itachi's comparison to the Darkling again so he doesn't. Still, it's all just further proof to Wei Wuxian that they aren't the same kind of man, no matter what lies in Itachi's past. When he's given the option, Itachi chooses peace. The betrayal between them lies as the single outlier, and even that hadn't been an act of outright violence despite how capable he'd have been of it. He could have just as easily fulfilled his goal with a violent act.
It makes his heart ache deeply for his friend, because it settles something in him that he's suspected for some time. Whatever Itachi did—whatever atrocities lay in his past—he was backed into a corner and robbed of choice.
But he says none of that, only shoots his friend an affection filled smile.]
And yet here you are, acting as my better conscience. [And since there is a compliment threatening to spill from his lips—the kind that he knows Itachi will hate, he bites his tongue and looks in the direction of the door instead.]
Just don't befriend too many of them. I don't need the competition.
（ there is a sharp awareness that exists between them, honed to the edge of an impossible knife. itachi knows — can guess — what passes through the man's mind in what follows, and he sets his jaw stubbornly, feeling more vulnerable now than he can recall ever being in his presence. even on his knees, bent to the floor in obeisance, he had not felt so seen. ）
I will endeavour to keep the number suitably low, for your sake.
（ it's a joke, mostly because he does not care to examine the matter closely enough to respond with any measure of seriousness. ）
Good, thank you. [Flippant and not at all sincere. He's too close to the edge of something that will throw them both off balance if they tip over, and so he takes care not to test it.]
Alright. I should get back. [There's nothing to get back to, but he doesn't like overstaying his welcome even if Itachi always gives him a look if he suggests that's what he's doing. He rises to his feet and pats invisible dust from his robes.]
I'll let you know if I learn anything else, and I'll do my best not to punch anyone for now. Unless they deserve it.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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I've been getting to know a man here named Mal. He told me about a general from his world called the "Darkling" and the "Black Heretic." He's what they call a Grisha—people born with the powers to manipulate elements and other things.
I saw Kirigan and Mal arguing on the network. It was obvious they knew each other, and Mal called him General, so I asked him and he admitted Kirigan is the general he was talking about. Kirigan's a Grisha who's more than four hundred years old and who's responsible for creating something they call "The Fold." It's a stretch of land that tore their country in half and created a land miles wide full of shadows and monsters that no one can cross.
You and I both know that having power doesn't make someone a monster, but he's used that power to harm innocent people. [And, more pointedly for Wei Wuxian] And he used it to harm a woman who is here from his world. He "leashed" her and made her watch him hurt others.
Mal didn't tell me that, Huaisang did. She told him. And he has everyone here fooled.
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he is seated in his chair, legs crossed at the ankle, one arm resting placidly on the armrest. ）
Have you spoken to the woman herself?
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He sighs and folds his arms over his chest, expression solemn.]
You told me once that Viveca and Degar screened the crewmates for suitability. But the way Huaisang talked about him...[He drifts off and finally moves to seat himself at the edge of Itachi's bed to sit across from him.]
Mal said he was a threat. That he would do anything and harm anyone if they stood in his way of getting what he wanted.
Maybe no one has stood in his way here yet, but I don't want to wait for that to happen, Itachi.
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As much as I do not doubt Huaisang, （ he begins, with something like weariness catching faint and fractal on the edges of his words, ） someone else could very easily be having this same conversation about me based on public knowledge in my world. There are always more sides than what we see, and I do not believe it is wise to act on such knowledge without being close enough to the situation to make our own determinations.
（ he is not averse to eradicating a threat, but given what wei wuxian says about his powers, he would also be loathe to engage him directly without knowing more. ideally, at his assassin's core, it would never even be a fight. ）
I have a few ideas about who this woman may be. It means little that the target of his abuses has not revealed his nature — （ it could be that she is afraid of him. it could be that she is protecting him. there is something uncomfortably familiar in that, and there is a brief pinch to one corner of his mouth. ） but she may have her own reasons for not speaking up. Let me consult with her, and with Viveca. （ a faint pause. then — ） And please, do not take this to mean you should confront him on your own.
（ he doesn't think that he would, necessarily. he is just... you know, covering his bases. ）
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I know. [He snaps, and then flinches, regretful. Itachi spoke of himself, but he isn't the only one in the room who fits the bill. The irony of them talking about this isn't lost on him.
Again, softer this time.] I know. Me too. [It's an awful thing to admit and it makes bile rise in him, but it's true and he doesn't have the right to pretend otherwise. The idea that Itachi could have anything in common with this man though...No. No matter what Itachi has done, he can't believe it. Wei Wuxian's story isn't as straightforward as people may believe, though he'd certainly made his mistakes, and Itachi's words seem to echo that sentiment.
And he's never doubted it anyway. Whatever horrors lay in Itachi's past, there was a reason beyond want of power.]
I'll wait until you talk to them. [And then, because it itches under his skin to stay silent, he adds] You're not the same.
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made her watch him hurt others.
how many times had he forced sasuke to relive the massacre? those screams cling to his every waking thought. there were times, when he was young, that he thought he would never close his eyes again without seeing his brother's broken-open expression the moment he realized it was itachi who had slain their parents, had stood over their corpses while they cooled in the evening air. discipline had forced him past the worst of it, but it still catches him unawares in moments like this. his palms itch where the crossbraid of his sword's ito left its impressions there with how tightly he had gripped it then. ）
Please keep in mind that what you know of me is what I have shown you.
（ it's faintly curt, no other inflection clings to it. but it has something of a warning living in those words, too, for wei wuxian to drop it. ）
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But the memory of Newt's words stills his tongue. The memory of how they'd felt like a blade sinking slowly into his gut, of how it had burned and made him curl up in a corner and weep. How they'd felt like a denial of the pain he'd caused others, dismissing all of the death and misery as nothing.
You don't know me, Itachi says and Wei Wuxian would argue otherwise, but he won't. Not when he knows what it's like to be on the receiving end of that.
Eventually he sighs and looks away, uttering only a soft,] I do. [And then lets it go. It isn't the argument he wants to insist on, but it's a small defiance, and one he hopes won't harm his friend the way Newt harmed him all those weeks ago.]
Will you speak to them soon? [He changes the subject and hopes that it's a kindness.]
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Yes.
（ he's already pulling up alina's inbox, to see if his instincts are correct. he can multitask. it will help clear the mind. ）
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Do you remember the man I warned you about? Jin Guangshan? [It's rhetorical, he knows Itachi remembers.] Huaisang drew a comparison.
Whatever that woman told him, it was enough to make him think of that man. And I know they can't be alike, not entirely. [Wei Wuxian's mouth twists.] For all that Jin Guangshan was a powerful malicious bastard, he was quick to anger, and obvious. He didn't fool anyone. If there's someone like that here, but smart and good at deceiving people...[His expression darkens and he doesn't finish his sentence.]
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If there is someone like that here, we will deal with it as it becomes necessary to deal with it. Speculation is useless.
（ they can prevaricate on the what-ifs and the maybes for days without cease — but the fact of the matter is, any preemptive action they take would reflect much more poorly on them than on a man who can spin it into a narrative of his victimization. even conclusive evidence may likely not be enough when so many aboard the ximilia are driven more by feelings than facts. ）
Kirigan has been here longer than I have. He has had time to lay his foundation. Deconstructing it... mm.
（ would require a great deal of patience. ）
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I don't want to deconstruct it, I just want to take care of it. [It's more of an aimless complaint than an actual plan at least.]
Would it be so bad if I punched him? Just one punch? [A really good one though.]
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（ such anger would reveal much, and be wasteful besides. all this, on behalf of strangers he barely knows — wei wuxian's curious tendency to put himself all-in on the line at even an imagined threat for those he considers unable to defend themselves.
and perhaps even those that can. ）
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Hey. [He keeps his eyes on the tea, refusing to look up as he rubs at the top of his nose with the side of a finger; a nervous habit he's never managed to break.] I know we don't know anything for sure, but could you do me a favor and warn Gwen?
She's taking some time away right now and. I don't see her as much. ["As much" meaning "at all" but he's trying to downplay it. If it weren't for the Kirigan issue, he wouldn't bring it up at all, but there's no way to ask Itachi to warn her without offering some kind of explanation.]
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instead, he rubs his thumb against the lip of his cup, and acquiesces with a nod. ）
Very well. Would you like to stay with me until we leave for the mission?
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Ah, no, it's fine! I've got a perfectly good room! [One that feels horribly empty without her, but he's not going to make himself a burden on someone else for such a stupid reason. The brief smile fades into something more appropriate to the recent discussion and he lifts his gaze again.]
And thanks for hearing me out on all of this. I've never been good at being patient about these things but...things are different here. [He risks a lot more than himself here for one, and it's not like he can just make a scene and fuck off like he would have at home.]
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（ have you learned nothing!! ）
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He's quiet for a few minutes after, sipping at his tea until there's nothing left and he can no longer justify his presence. Still, he doesn't rise to leave, expression twisting in contemplation.]
When you speak to Viveca, if she has it managed, I'll leave him alone. [It's not...a great outcome, and it doesn't mean he won't still consider warning more people, but it'll have to do for now.]
You trust her, don't you? [He hasn't stated it outright, but it seems that way.]
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（ his track record of putting his faith in those with power has been pocked with betrayal. perhaps he shouldn't. perhaps he wouldn't, if things had gone differently. but her reaction to him at the first, and their subsequent rapport... if he is retreading old mistakes, it is with a clearer and settled mind.
he has always wanted to have belief in others. to trust. it was the cruelties of a wartorn world that took those things from him, and he is learning to claw them back. he wants to have faith, and has decided to put that faith in her unflinching. ）
She and I had a rather... curious beginning. Without it, I do not think I would have trusted her so readily.
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It's a response that catches his attention though, and he tilts his head slightly.]
Curious? [Possibly it's too personal to share, but in that case he trusts his friend to simply say as much.]
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（ there is amusement there, dogging the heels of his words. ）
Not intending to — in my ignorance I asked if she had been human once. She took that to mean that I could not trust a machine. We had something of a disagreement in what followed, and perhaps an exchange of veiled threats.
（ it is not a perfectly accurate representation of his conversation with viveca, but it is the one he offers. what words they exchanged were personal, and while he does not mind imparting the spirit of their discussion he will not offer the letter. ）
Once it became clear that I was not asking the question as some cruel jibe, we arrived at an understanding with one-another. I told her then I would keep my theories about her prior existence to myself, and she... （ he reaches up, briefly, and drags the tips of his fingers against his cheekbone, just below his eye. ） Assisted me in overcoming the illness that had claimed my life in my home.
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You have a habit of befriending your enemies, don't you? [He raises a hand before Itachi can interject and adds] At least here. Not that Viveca was your enemy, but you know what I mean. [He grins lightly at Itachi, and doesn't voice the question that's plaguing him now.
He hadn't known Itachi had died from an illness. Given what he knows of Itachi's life, it's honestly a little bit shocking. Still, as curious as he is about that new bit of information, now doesn't seem the right time to ask.]
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（ it's rare that he's caught so entirely off-guard that he's stunned to speechlessness. he is silent for a time, brows drawn down in disconcertion, and then — ）
It was never an option in my home.
（ is what he finally offers, discomfited. ）
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It would be a foolish thing to bring up Itachi's comparison to the Darkling again so he doesn't. Still, it's all just further proof to Wei Wuxian that they aren't the same kind of man, no matter what lies in Itachi's past. When he's given the option, Itachi chooses peace. The betrayal between them lies as the single outlier, and even that hadn't been an act of outright violence despite how capable he'd have been of it. He could have just as easily fulfilled his goal with a violent act.
It makes his heart ache deeply for his friend, because it settles something in him that he's suspected for some time. Whatever Itachi did—whatever atrocities lay in his past—he was backed into a corner and robbed of choice.
But he says none of that, only shoots his friend an affection filled smile.]
And yet here you are, acting as my better conscience. [And since there is a compliment threatening to spill from his lips—the kind that he knows Itachi will hate, he bites his tongue and looks in the direction of the door instead.]
Just don't befriend too many of them. I don't need the competition.
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I will endeavour to keep the number suitably low, for your sake.
（ it's a joke, mostly because he does not care to examine the matter closely enough to respond with any measure of seriousness. ）
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Alright. I should get back. [There's nothing to get back to, but he doesn't like overstaying his welcome even if Itachi always gives him a look if he suggests that's what he's doing. He rises to his feet and pats invisible dust from his robes.]
I'll let you know if I learn anything else, and I'll do my best not to punch anyone for now. Unless they deserve it.