his expression remains neutral, but his eyes follow the sightline of hers, settling on her newly filled up. a brief pinch between his brows, immediately smoothed out, is the only sign of his awareness of the weight she carries with this.
he does not excel at this manner of comfort, but he slips one hand across the table and touches the inside of her wrist. it's the barest ghost of pressure, there and gone. the whisper of suggestion, that she is not alone. ）
Gwen — but what occurred with your friend... that was his choice, more than yours. You were not responsible for his actions, nor his jealousy. I understand why you feel as you do, but it was not your fault. And if you choose not to fulfill your regret, or you wish to change it... if he was ever a true friend to you, he would be able to examine what occurred between the two of you, and accept that.
〈 gwen's eyes settle briefly on her wrist, lingering even after itachi removes his hand. nothing he says is new or surprising. much of it she has been telling herself for years. 〉
I know.
〈 her hard fought breakthrough—arriving as a furious harry was angling to break her head through. she certainly has timing. he blamed himself, she blamed herself…but what peter did, he did alone. she had to see it and so did harry before they could even attempt to follow the threads of their lives. trauma was a knot that they could neither cut through nor climb back over. it was just there—an ugly reminder, a gnarl in the thread. she has moved along enough that, looking back, it does not dominate her field of vision as it did.
it is still too big to ignore.
with a sigh, she looks up. 〉
If it were only reason involved, I’d have my answer. Death’s a part of life. It’s not cruel or fair—it just is. We live; we die. Matter transforming. Trying to stop that…it’s hubris. It’s wrong.
Then I remember my friend.〈 she pauses, her throat tight. 〉 I’ve met so many Peters. All of them versions of him. And none of them the one who used to follow me around everywhere, jabbering my ear off about some dorky show on the Syfy channel. 〈 her chest now is the one too tight. bands wrap around her ribs until her heart aches. 〉 There’s a really selfish part of me that just wants to see my friend again.
（ saving shisui was not his priority, when it came to making his deal with the orb. but... in that same selfish way, he hopes that his goal can save him just the same. the uchiha are a cursed line.
chaos will follow you all of your life.
one finger twitches faintly, and he finds himself studying his ring in lieu of her miserable, hunched countenance. ）
I understand the desire. But the only one who can weigh it's worth is you.
〈 it is. an understandable desire, and a selfish one. what else can gambling a universe be? once they collect all the orbs, they will be able to make perfect deals. still, she remembers welford and the town of scorpion’s bend. her first mission. the sound of his crying followed them onto the station.
rather than answer—again, nothing she has not already repeated to herself—she drinks her tea while it is still warm. the true crime here: wasting good tea. only once it is newly empty does she speak. 〉
（ absently, he reaches up to the earpiece to indicate she should anticipate a message.
he sends her his findings, neat and exacting and precise and utterly devoid of personality, as with all his mission reports. details on the house, the rooms, the cooper family, and his inevitable dead end with the university secretary. he should have attempted to visit in person, where he could have used the sharingan. careless of him, to rely on charm.
（ it's blunt, but it isn't dismissive. it's just a simple statement of fact. water is wet, the sky is blue, uchiha itachi is not possessed of any desire to speak on his own traumas, thank you.
but, after a long moment — ）
Wei Wuxian saw something of my history I would not have told him — or you — willingly.
（ or anyone. his past is his own, and while he is not... protective of it, in the sense that it is publicly known and understood in his world, he is a private man. he does not think wei wuxian will tell her in any detail what was seen, but he suspects the man will be bothered by it, and it would be a cruelty not to give them space to discuss it together. therefore, the logical thing to do is ensure gwen is equally aware. after a moment, his lips part, and he continues blandly — ）
Prior to my defection, I eradicated a clan that had hostile intentions towards Konoha. He witnessed a discussion preceding it, that clearly communicated the coming violence. Afterwards, I used Tsukuyomi to subdue him. You should speak to him, when you have a moment. I suspect he will benefit from your company, though he may not admit as much.
〈 it's the atacama up in here. 〉 At least you acknowledge it. That's the first step.
〈 she drops her face into her hands, rubs at her eyes. 〉
Okay, 〈 she starts, raising her head after a pronounced pause. 〉 In order of how equipped I am to deal with this. 〈 she ticks off the points on her fingers. 〉 One, I already saw Wei Wuxian. He looks like someone cooked and served his pet chicken to him for dinner. There's only a few people who can make him make that face, and I haven't this month, so I figured the culprit this go-around might be you.
〈 hence reaching out through venom first. she knows who the favorite here is, and it is not her. 〉
Two, 〈 she proceeds, gaining steam, 〉 you're a fucking dumbass for putting him in Tsukuyomi at all, but especially for doing that inside that school. Oh, and springing that on him makes you a profound dick. The levels of your dickishness can only be properly seen from space. From another galaxy. From a distant, other galaxy.
Three… 〈 her ring finger joins her index and middle fingers in the air only briefly before her hand drops. her shoulders slump. all of a sudden, she looks only tired. 〉
What is it you want, Itachi? Do you want to push us away? Do-do you want us to fear you? Hate you? Because you’re smart enough to have realized—the only person in this room who feels that way about you is you.
If I wanted you both to hate and fear me, you would.
（ it's stated so plainly, and with the conviction of certain knowledge. they may be older than sasuke, when first he stepped into his mind and tore his world apart, but they do not love him as his brother loved him. it would be a simple thing.
they have both given him enough to break them. ）
I have never made a secret of what I am, to either of you.
〈 which begs the question why he keeps trying. frustration sharpens her tone. 〉
The cat was a good representation of you. You test limits like one. 〈 she throws her hands up. 〉 So, fine. Let’s play.
You slaughtered a clan. Probably couldn’t grow a single hair on your face yet, but the higher ups tapped you. You joined a terrorist organization after that—so it makes sense to assume the clan in question was part of Konoha and your actions there were your ticket in. Public enemy number one and all that.
Now, you’re obviously skilled, 〈 she continues, speculating aloud, 〉 but if your leaders were worried enough about this clan to want to erase it from the world—well, skill is not enough. There had to be more to it. It’s not taking advantage of your apparent youth because you all start the ninja training early. Your kids are trained to be deadly. So, the clan had to know you. Likely trusted you.
〈 a hideous thought strikes her like lightning. like a puppet with its strings cut, her hands drop into her lap. her lips part, but her speech, previously quick as she connected the dots he has given her, abruptly fails her. klaxon bells are going off in her head.
quietly, she echoes him a long ago. 〉 You were the eldest son of the clan head.
（ watching her put the pieces together is fascinating as a matter of purely academic interest. he's never doubted her cleverness, but in an abstract way, it's artful of her. she would have made a good shinobi, had she been born to his world.
but then — she would not be gwen, would she?
he does not know what he expects to feel, but what results is almost relief. like taking one's weight off a broken bone when you've had no choice but to walk for miles. sorrow bites at heels of relief, because the conclusion she's come to will irrevocably change the landscape of their friendship. she hasn't yet processed the cold horror of it, but he can chart any dozen reactions of hers that may follow. ）
Trust had nothing to do with it. They did not trust me. But besides that, you are correct — the clan I eradicated was my own, the Uchiha.
（ he pauses, to take a sip of his tea. his hand is steady, the motion elegant and unhurried. ）
Wei Wuxian was not made aware of that piece. The extermination of a people carries certain connotations I believe our cultures share.
〈 a little numbly, gwen manages, 〉 Yeah. Genocide bad. Parricide too.
〈 even as the ugly certainty came upon her—it explained too much, answered too many questions to be wrong—still, still, she dearly hoped she might be wrong. that itachi would frown in his very particular way that loudly detailed the depths of his distaste for how subtle the gesture. for him to take offense, rightly, at the very insinuation. to ask her to leave. to shut the door on her face.
she does not understand how he can sit here, calmly drinking tea, instead of screaming.
late, she realizes her mouth dropped open. she shuts it so quickly her teeth click together. her jaw is a sharp line; she swallows tightly.
（ her physiological reaction details the devastation she can only glibly remark on. is she thinking about all the times she has been vulnerable with him, realizing that she'd given him a knife? or is she realizing that the truth of his nature is more his actions in taeum than in the tender truce that followed?
he sets his cup down without a sound. ）
The sole survivor.
（ his survival, the cost itachi extracted from danzō to perform that awful act. ）
〈 the sole survivor. and konoha's insurance against itachi, surely. or maybe they had a different goal in mind for the little boy, horrifying as the concept is.
it is a little boy, she visualizes, itachi in miniature. did he watch it happen or was he spared that much, at least? did he see his brother become a brutal stranger? because she knows with absolute certainty that he would not have known the truth. itachi suggested as much: my regret is failing to trust someone I should have. no one would have trusted a child with a truth so immense or so terrible—but they had no trouble having his big brother take on that guilt.
it roils in her gut: the appalling cruelty of ordering the son to exterminate his family. and all in the name of…order? security? control and power.
her mouth presses into an unhappy line. 〉
That should never have been asked of you. 〈 her eyes meet his, pale blue to deep black, without flinching. 〉 You deserved better. You both did.
（ he is not so lacking in self-awareness that he refutes her claim, the same thing he had murmured to her in quiet certainty. the difference between them is that in gwen's case, it is true. even now, she nurses empathy for him, and his gaze cuts away, falling on the neat row of his kunai spread out on the bed where he had been sharpening them. ）
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
his expression remains neutral, but his eyes follow the sightline of hers, settling on her newly filled up. a brief pinch between his brows, immediately smoothed out, is the only sign of his awareness of the weight she carries with this.
he does not excel at this manner of comfort, but he slips one hand across the table and touches the inside of her wrist. it's the barest ghost of pressure, there and gone. the whisper of suggestion, that she is not alone. ）
Gwen — but what occurred with your friend... that was his choice, more than yours. You were not responsible for his actions, nor his jealousy. I understand why you feel as you do, but it was not your fault. And if you choose not to fulfill your regret, or you wish to change it... if he was ever a true friend to you, he would be able to examine what occurred between the two of you, and accept that.
no subject
I know.
〈 her hard fought breakthrough—arriving as a furious harry was angling to break her head through. she certainly has timing. he blamed himself, she blamed herself…but what peter did, he did alone. she had to see it and so did harry before they could even attempt to follow the threads of their lives. trauma was a knot that they could neither cut through nor climb back over. it was just there—an ugly reminder, a gnarl in the thread. she has moved along enough that, looking back, it does not dominate her field of vision as it did.
it is still too big to ignore.
with a sigh, she looks up. 〉
If it were only reason involved, I’d have my answer. Death’s a part of life. It’s not cruel or fair—it just is. We live; we die. Matter transforming. Trying to stop that…it’s hubris. It’s wrong.
Then I remember my friend.〈 she pauses, her throat tight. 〉 I’ve met so many Peters. All of them versions of him. And none of them the one who used to follow me around everywhere, jabbering my ear off about some dorky show on the Syfy channel. 〈 her chest now is the one too tight. bands wrap around her ribs until her heart aches. 〉 There’s a really selfish part of me that just wants to see my friend again.
no subject
（ saving shisui was not his priority, when it came to making his deal with the orb. but... in that same selfish way, he hopes that his goal can save him just the same. the uchiha are a cursed line.
chaos will follow you all of your life.
one finger twitches faintly, and he finds himself studying his ring in lieu of her miserable, hunched countenance. ）
I understand the desire. But the only one who can weigh it's worth is you.
no subject
rather than answer—again, nothing she has not already repeated to herself—she drinks her tea while it is still warm. the true crime here: wasting good tea. only once it is newly empty does she speak. 〉
Have you found anything?
no subject
he sends her his findings, neat and exacting and precise and utterly devoid of personality, as with all his mission reports. details on the house, the rooms, the cooper family, and his inevitable dead end with the university secretary. he should have attempted to visit in person, where he could have used the sharingan. careless of him, to rely on charm.
then: ）
I trust the others have had better luck.
no subject
no subject
（ his expression betrays nothing, but there is a faint twitch to his hand. ）
It was... unpleasant.
no subject
〈 folding her arms on the table, she frowns in sympathy. 〉
Want to talk about it?
no subject
（ it's blunt, but it isn't dismissive. it's just a simple statement of fact. water is wet, the sky is blue, uchiha itachi is not possessed of any desire to speak on his own traumas, thank you.
but, after a long moment — ）
Wei Wuxian saw something of my history I would not have told him — or you — willingly.
（ or anyone. his past is his own, and while he is not... protective of it, in the sense that it is publicly known and understood in his world, he is a private man. he does not think wei wuxian will tell her in any detail what was seen, but he suspects the man will be bothered by it, and it would be a cruelty not to give them space to discuss it together. therefore, the logical thing to do is ensure gwen is equally aware. after a moment, his lips part, and he continues blandly — ）
Prior to my defection, I eradicated a clan that had hostile intentions towards Konoha. He witnessed a discussion preceding it, that clearly communicated the coming violence. Afterwards, I used Tsukuyomi to subdue him. You should speak to him, when you have a moment. I suspect he will benefit from your company, though he may not admit as much.
no subject
You're a dumbass.
no subject
Doubtless.
no subject
〈 she drops her face into her hands, rubs at her eyes. 〉
Okay, 〈 she starts, raising her head after a pronounced pause. 〉 In order of how equipped I am to deal with this. 〈 she ticks off the points on her fingers. 〉 One, I already saw Wei Wuxian. He looks like someone cooked and served his pet chicken to him for dinner. There's only a few people who can make him make that face, and I haven't this month, so I figured the culprit this go-around might be you.
〈 hence reaching out through venom first. she knows who the favorite here is, and it is not her. 〉
Two, 〈 she proceeds, gaining steam, 〉 you're a fucking dumbass for putting him in Tsukuyomi at all, but especially for doing that inside that school. Oh, and springing that on him makes you a profound dick. The levels of your dickishness can only be properly seen from space. From another galaxy. From a distant, other galaxy.
Three… 〈 her ring finger joins her index and middle fingers in the air only briefly before her hand drops. her shoulders slump. all of a sudden, she looks only tired. 〉
What is it you want, Itachi? Do you want to push us away? Do-do you want us to fear you? Hate you? Because you’re smart enough to have realized—the only person in this room who feels that way about you is you.
no subject
（ it's stated so plainly, and with the conviction of certain knowledge. they may be older than sasuke, when first he stepped into his mind and tore his world apart, but they do not love him as his brother loved him. it would be a simple thing.
they have both given him enough to break them. ）
I have never made a secret of what I am, to either of you.
no subject
The cat was a good representation of you. You test limits like one. 〈 she throws her hands up. 〉 So, fine. Let’s play.
You slaughtered a clan. Probably couldn’t grow a single hair on your face yet, but the higher ups tapped you. You joined a terrorist organization after that—so it makes sense to assume the clan in question was part of Konoha and your actions there were your ticket in. Public enemy number one and all that.
Now, you’re obviously skilled, 〈 she continues, speculating aloud, 〉 but if your leaders were worried enough about this clan to want to erase it from the world—well, skill is not enough. There had to be more to it. It’s not taking advantage of your apparent youth because you all start the ninja training early. Your kids are trained to be deadly. So, the clan had to know you. Likely trusted you.
〈 a hideous thought strikes her like lightning. like a puppet with its strings cut, her hands drop into her lap. her lips part, but her speech, previously quick as she connected the dots he has given her, abruptly fails her. klaxon bells are going off in her head.
quietly, she echoes him a long ago. 〉 You were the eldest son of the clan head.
no subject
but then — she would not be gwen, would she?
he does not know what he expects to feel, but what results is almost relief. like taking one's weight off a broken bone when you've had no choice but to walk for miles. sorrow bites at heels of relief, because the conclusion she's come to will irrevocably change the landscape of their friendship. she hasn't yet processed the cold horror of it, but he can chart any dozen reactions of hers that may follow. ）
Trust had nothing to do with it. They did not trust me. But besides that, you are correct — the clan I eradicated was my own, the Uchiha.
（ he pauses, to take a sip of his tea. his hand is steady, the motion elegant and unhurried. ）
Wei Wuxian was not made aware of that piece. The extermination of a people carries certain connotations I believe our cultures share.
no subject
〈 even as the ugly certainty came upon her—it explained too much, answered too many questions to be wrong—still, still, she dearly hoped she might be wrong. that itachi would frown in his very particular way that loudly detailed the depths of his distaste for how subtle the gesture. for him to take offense, rightly, at the very insinuation. to ask her to leave. to shut the door on her face.
she does not understand how he can sit here, calmly drinking tea, instead of screaming.
late, she realizes her mouth dropped open. she shuts it so quickly her teeth click together. her jaw is a sharp line; she swallows tightly.
she is terrified to ask, but— 〉 And Sasuke…?
no subject
he sets his cup down without a sound. ）
The sole survivor.
（ his survival, the cost itachi extracted from danzō to perform that awful act. ）
no subject
it is a little boy, she visualizes, itachi in miniature. did he watch it happen or was he spared that much, at least? did he see his brother become a brutal stranger? because she knows with absolute certainty that he would not have known the truth. itachi suggested as much: my regret is failing to trust someone I should have. no one would have trusted a child with a truth so immense or so terrible—but they had no trouble having his big brother take on that guilt.
it roils in her gut: the appalling cruelty of ordering the son to exterminate his family. and all in the name of…order? security? control and power.
her mouth presses into an unhappy line. 〉
That should never have been asked of you. 〈 her eyes meet his, pale blue to deep black, without flinching. 〉 You deserved better. You both did.
no subject
Now, if you will excuse me.
（ he raises a hand, and points her to the door. ）
no subject
tardío fin.