[I told her what had transpired, Itachi says, as casually as if he were speaking of the weather, and Wei Wuxian knows his brow furrows in reaction even as he bites his tongue to stop himself from asking why. In hindsight, he wonders if he doesn't know the answer. Itachi wouldn't have assumed Wei Wuxian would tell Gwen, but there's something there in that confession, maybe his own way to mitigate the potential damage. To take control of a situation in which control had been so thoroughly wrested from him.
It takes Wei Wuxian only a few seconds to imagine what he might have done in the same position. If Gwen or Itachi had been privy to the massacre of Nightless City without any context or idea of what was happening. If they had seen that night unfiltered...
He swallows hard at the thought. Maybe he isn't sure why Itachi told Gwen, but he knows it wasn't for his own good.
But none of that is why Itachi is speaking to him now, and Wei Wuxian would be a poor friend if he didn't pay attention and listen to what Itachi is saying.
Gwen figured out something else. There is immediately the instinct to pick and prod. Hasn't he told Itachi before? I like to understand how things work. But people are not inventions and arrays, streaks of ink on paper. Whatever Gwen pieced together is not for Wei Wuxian to know, and so he quiets the questions in his mind. Once, he hadn't listened when Itachi asked him to stop. He will never make that mistake again.
More to the point, the stumbling over the words and (momentary) uncharacteristic hesitance finally make sense to him. Itachi thinks Gwen is upset with him. Or rather he believes that Gwen believes he's upset with her. Oh. Oh.
It's a sentiment that Wei Wuxian understands well and he purses his lips for a moment as he carefully considers the question.]
I don't think you could put her into any position she didn't want to be in. [he starts, thinking of the strength of Gwen's will power—some might also call it stubbornness. His eyes shift back to his tea.]
A wise friend once told me that sometimes in situations like this, people need space. Room to understand what they're feeling. [There is a glint of warmth in his eyes, but despite the somewhat cheeky response, Wei Wuxian is not making light.] He told me that for someone like Gwen, patience is key. Her own experiences with death aren't insignificant.
He also told me that Gwen cared for me, and he was right. So now I am telling you that Gwen cares for you, and not just a little. You matter to her. If you're [Afraid] under the impression that she believes you're angry, tell her you're not. She'll have had plenty of space by the time this mission concludes.
๏ผ the echo of his own words is meant as a panacea, and one corner of his mouth quirks up in faint amusement. it is not wei wuxian's fault that the situations are entirely dissimilar. witnessing the slaughter of people who have had an active hand in harming others, who would have killed wei wuxian or the innocent prisoners on e23-b is not quite the same as gwen realizing that he put his own family to the sword. but the sentiment is appreciated, regardless. ๏ผ
I will see.
๏ผ the idea of speaking to her is exhaustive. he has never shied away from being a villain. it was a mantle he accepted that night and has bore unflinching since. but he had... divorced himself if not from the deed itself, then at least from the reputation in which he has cloaked himself ever after.
gwen now knows, irrevocably, that the truth of him is closer to that betrayal in taeum than in the personality he has cultivated since, and he does not know which side to show her now. the distance is easier to maintain, certainly. ๏ผ
[He looks at him for a moment longer—recognizing the deferral for what it is—but pushing has never gotten him anywhere with Itachi so he acquiesces to the subject change.]
Yeah. I hope so. The room's too quiet. [He complains softly, disguising a real discomfort with a feigned pout.]
I end up talking to myself too much. It's weird how easy it is to get used to something so quickly. [He misses Gwen specifically, but he also misses the presence of another person. He'd thought about approaching Lan Wangji for just a second, but the way things have been between them had made him dismiss the idea as soon as he'd had it.]
๏ผ quiet is an impoetic word for it. gwen's absence is a void, the absence of sun in spring. of all of them, however, wei wuxian is the most poorly equipped to endure solitude comfortably.
he gives wei wuxian a long, studied look. then: ๏ผ
Stay with me until she returns. You may take the bed.
๏ผ as if he doesn't already sleep on the futon tucked neatly away in a cupboard to begin with. ๏ผ
['Stay with me,' Itachi says, not 'you can stay with me' or 'if you want to.' Just stay with me. The gentle insistence of a friend. It's a foolish detail to get caught up on, but Wei Wuxian can't help ducking his head to hide a warm smile, nodding in answer.]
Alright. [And gone too are the days of 'If you don't mind.'
The thanks dies before it even reaches his lips, as much because he's mindful of Itachi's aversion to gratitude as because it simply doesn't seem to fit. Sometimes, a thanks really isn't needed between friends.]
Me? Snore? [He winks.] It's too late, you can't take it back now even if I do. You're stuck with me. [To prove the sentiment, he quickly shimmies up higher on the bed and ducks under the blanket, immediately calling out 'night!' from under the covers.
He is absolutely not going to bed yet but that is very much not the point.]
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It takes Wei Wuxian only a few seconds to imagine what he might have done in the same position. If Gwen or Itachi had been privy to the massacre of Nightless City without any context or idea of what was happening. If they had seen that night unfiltered...
He swallows hard at the thought. Maybe he isn't sure why Itachi told Gwen, but he knows it wasn't for his own good.
But none of that is why Itachi is speaking to him now, and Wei Wuxian would be a poor friend if he didn't pay attention and listen to what Itachi is saying.
Gwen figured out something else. There is immediately the instinct to pick and prod. Hasn't he told Itachi before? I like to understand how things work. But people are not inventions and arrays, streaks of ink on paper. Whatever Gwen pieced together is not for Wei Wuxian to know, and so he quiets the questions in his mind. Once, he hadn't listened when Itachi asked him to stop. He will never make that mistake again.
More to the point, the stumbling over the words and (momentary) uncharacteristic hesitance finally make sense to him. Itachi thinks Gwen is upset with him. Or rather he believes that Gwen believes he's upset with her. Oh. Oh.
It's a sentiment that Wei Wuxian understands well and he purses his lips for a moment as he carefully considers the question.]
I don't think you could put her into any position she didn't want to be in. [he starts, thinking of the strength of Gwen's will power—some might also call it stubbornness. His eyes shift back to his tea.]
A wise friend once told me that sometimes in situations like this, people need space. Room to understand what they're feeling. [There is a glint of warmth in his eyes, but despite the somewhat cheeky response, Wei Wuxian is not making light.] He told me that for someone like Gwen, patience is key. Her own experiences with death aren't insignificant.
He also told me that Gwen cared for me, and he was right. So now I am telling you that Gwen cares for you, and not just a little. You matter to her. If you're [Afraid] under the impression that she believes you're angry, tell her you're not. She'll have had plenty of space by the time this mission concludes.
Talk to her.
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I will see.
๏ผ the idea of speaking to her is exhaustive. he has never shied away from being a villain. it was a mantle he accepted that night and has bore unflinching since. but he had... divorced himself if not from the deed itself, then at least from the reputation in which he has cloaked himself ever after.
gwen now knows, irrevocably, that the truth of him is closer to that betrayal in taeum than in the personality he has cultivated since, and he does not know which side to show her now. the distance is easier to maintain, certainly. ๏ผ
They should be returning soon.
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Yeah. I hope so. The room's too quiet. [He complains softly, disguising a real discomfort with a feigned pout.]
I end up talking to myself too much. It's weird how easy it is to get used to something so quickly. [He misses Gwen specifically, but he also misses the presence of another person. He'd thought about approaching Lan Wangji for just a second, but the way things have been between them had made him dismiss the idea as soon as he'd had it.]
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he gives wei wuxian a long, studied look. then: ๏ผ
Stay with me until she returns. You may take the bed.
๏ผ as if he doesn't already sleep on the futon tucked neatly away in a cupboard to begin with. ๏ผ
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Alright. [And gone too are the days of 'If you don't mind.'
The thanks dies before it even reaches his lips, as much because he's mindful of Itachi's aversion to gratitude as because it simply doesn't seem to fit. Sometimes, a thanks really isn't needed between friends.]
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๏ผ ... a joke?
a threat???
who knows with him. ๏ผ
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Me? Snore? [He winks.] It's too late, you can't take it back now even if I do. You're stuck with me. [To prove the sentiment, he quickly shimmies up higher on the bed and ducks under the blanket, immediately calling out 'night!' from under the covers.
He is absolutely not going to bed yet but that is very much not the point.]
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