( mccoy goes still under itachi's hand, and yet again feels temporarily overcome by emotion for it, the flow and ebb of a wave at a shoreline.
i said we should stay, too, launches itself from the very bottom of his lungs; i said we should talk to them then, too, sticks in his throat because itachi goes and calls him by that name. unexpected, and deeply intimate, it's something reserved only for jim's use, because he gave it to him, and sometimes spock's, because he understands, much like itachi does now.
he rests his sun-warmed fingers over itachi's, a whisper of contact, and looks to those red eyes. )
On E-23b, I held to what the majority wanted, and that was sayin' nothin' to the locals about stayin'. I know I come off rude, and not all that keen to listen when I get het up over somethin' I believe in, but I respect that we all gotta compromise in order to work together.
( bones is calm as he talks, firmly resolved. )
I won't compromise here. I intend to speak with Chief Yerek.
๏ผ he does not withdraw immediately, lest it be seen as a retreat. seconds pass, and then he steps away as if to the limit of some invisible tether. ๏ผ
For what it's worth, you have my support. They have the right to the determination of their own future, even if it is only to marshal themselves for death.
๏ผ it's so intensely condescending, to speak of cruelties and unnecessary impact on an otherwise happy people that knowing might bring. to make that decision for them, as he once did for his clan. he knows better now. truths can be hard, but that makes them no less necessary. ๏ผ
( his agreement is more like a grunt, the crackling heat of his anger all but spent. just when itachi became a reliable source of calm, he doesn't know, but the space between them doesn't feel like a wall anymore, or a moat full of perilous things.
mccoy cards a hand back through his hair, pulling the dark, sweaty strands off his forehead. it's another hot day, the breeze barely stirring even here in the broad shade of a coneflower, its yellow blossoms spread like the rays of the sun. )
It'll be quick.
( not merciful. not easy. but quick.
he forces the change of subject, an abrupt segue without warning. )
๏ผ wei wuxian has been holding out hope that it was merely a teleporter glitch, as before. itachi, privately, has never been one to grasp for hope, but the doctor's words are still like ice entombed along tenketsu.
itachi shakes his head faintly. ๏ผ
Not immediately before. Several days before the mission... I attended a memorial ceremony for the boy she lost. It was the last time we spoke before arriving here.
( the surprise shows on his face, a flicker as if stung, and tamped down as he nods. she might just be waiting for them when they get back, but he knows it's unlikely. the finality of this can't just be coincidence. )
For Peter. She mentioned doing something like that back in Alydhion.
( when he was high as a kite, but he remembered offering her his help. telling her how proud he was of her.
bones sets his grief aside to reach into the space between them, a shift of weight, a brief touch to the edge of itachi's sleeve, nothing more. )
๏ผ his attention drops to the brush of mccoy's hand, but he does not move away. simply remains perfectly still, as if the only alternative is to bolt. he does not speak until mccoy has reclaimed his own space, although he continues to look down at his cuff a moment longer.
finally — ๏ผ
Losing her would devastate Wei Wuxian. We should both take care, to be there for him if on our return she is gone.
๏ผ mccoy gets a bit of a look. just faintly annoyed, in that oddly fond way he has. ๏ผ
My threshold for being anything other than fine is higher than most.
๏ผ he is already mourning the loss of this world. the oddly familiar sensation of a sort of... preemptive grief that feels just a little like drowning threatens to swallow him whole any time he is not directly occupied with something else. ๏ผ
Ask me after we return to the Ximilia, perhaps.
๏ผ it's a vulnerability. maybe. if you squint. ๏ผ
( he is immune to such looks, jackass. the glimpse of vulnerability though... he'll handle it with care. )
I'll hold you to that.
( bones heaves a sigh, glances back the way they came, and comes to a decision, lowering himself down to a seat against the stalk of the coneflower, long legs stretched out in front of him. )
Think it's best if I lose my earpiece for an hour, 'til they tucker themselves out. ( he puts his hand to his ear but waits, turning his gaze up at itachi. ) Thank you, for hearing me out. Again.
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no subject
i said we should stay, too, launches itself from the very bottom of his lungs; i said we should talk to them then, too, sticks in his throat because itachi goes and calls him by that name. unexpected, and deeply intimate, it's something reserved only for jim's use, because he gave it to him, and sometimes spock's, because he understands, much like itachi does now.
he rests his sun-warmed fingers over itachi's, a whisper of contact, and looks to those red eyes. )
On E-23b, I held to what the majority wanted, and that was sayin' nothin' to the locals about stayin'. I know I come off rude, and not all that keen to listen when I get het up over somethin' I believe in, but I respect that we all gotta compromise in order to work together.
( bones is calm as he talks, firmly resolved. )
I won't compromise here. I intend to speak with Chief Yerek.
no subject
For what it's worth, you have my support. They have the right to the determination of their own future, even if it is only to marshal themselves for death.
๏ผ it's so intensely condescending, to speak of cruelties and unnecessary impact on an otherwise happy people that knowing might bring. to make that decision for them, as he once did for his clan. he knows better now. truths can be hard, but that makes them no less necessary. ๏ผ
no subject
mccoy cards a hand back through his hair, pulling the dark, sweaty strands off his forehead. it's another hot day, the breeze barely stirring even here in the broad shade of a coneflower, its yellow blossoms spread like the rays of the sun. )
It'll be quick.
( not merciful. not easy. but quick.
he forces the change of subject, an abrupt segue without warning. )
Did Gwen see you before she left?
no subject
itachi shakes his head faintly. ๏ผ
Not immediately before. Several days before the mission... I attended a memorial ceremony for the boy she lost. It was the last time we spoke before arriving here.
no subject
For Peter. She mentioned doing something like that back in Alydhion.
( when he was high as a kite, but he remembered offering her his help. telling her how proud he was of her.
bones sets his grief aside to reach into the space between them, a shift of weight, a brief touch to the edge of itachi's sleeve, nothing more. )
Thank you for bein' there for her.
no subject
finally — ๏ผ
Losing her would devastate Wei Wuxian. We should both take care, to be there for him if on our return she is gone.
no subject
( how could anyone think itachi is without feeling, when he cares so much? mccoy eyes him. )
If you tell me you're fine, I'll swat you.
no subject
My threshold for being anything other than fine is higher than most.
๏ผ he is already mourning the loss of this world. the oddly familiar sensation of a sort of... preemptive grief that feels just a little like drowning threatens to swallow him whole any time he is not directly occupied with something else. ๏ผ
Ask me after we return to the Ximilia, perhaps.
๏ผ it's a vulnerability. maybe. if you squint. ๏ผ
no subject
I'll hold you to that.
( bones heaves a sigh, glances back the way they came, and comes to a decision, lowering himself down to a seat against the stalk of the coneflower, long legs stretched out in front of him. )
Think it's best if I lose my earpiece for an hour, 'til they tucker themselves out. ( he puts his hand to his ear but waits, turning his gaze up at itachi. ) Thank you, for hearing me out. Again.
no subject
๏ผ his attention cuts to the earpiece, and then: ๏ผ
I'll come find you in an hour.