[ Finn kicks his shoes off at the door, a new habit heād internalized after more than a few disapproving looks from Itachi. Entering the apartment the three of them been living in for the past month, it was strange how much like a home he was starting to think of it. The transcience of it was never too far from his mind, of course, but there were moments where it was nice to let that fact retreat into a less conscious part of himself. To just be in the here and now of it.
Moving into the kitchenette of the small apartment, the afternoon sun casting a warm glow over the space, he drops a paper bag on the table, dusting loose powder from his hands. ]
ļ¼ he is seated at the table, sheafs of paper spread out before him. it looks as though he's drawing, left-handed — but what he is actually doing is composing notes in cypher, hidden and encoded in plain sight. he does not look up as finn approaches, instead merely canting his head to one side faintly to show he's listening. the blonde hair of his cover identity is drawn up into a loose bun, the occasional soft curl escaping only to be tucked stubbornly back behind one ear. ļ¼
Not at the moment. What do you need?
ļ¼ the voice may not be his, but the inflection certainly is. as 'ophelia' he tends to pitch it higher, carry more emotion — but there is no need to maintain such a thing around one who knows it's him beneath the borrowed face and body. ļ¼
[ Much like the rooms in which they were staying, Finn had grown somewhat accustomed to Itachiās disguise. It had been unsettling at first, at times too alien to quite know how to talk to him, and also, at times, maybe a little too familiar, striking an uneasy balance that he hadnāt know how to act around.
But it had quickly become easy to recognize the man he knew beneath the artifice. The subtleties of his expressions, and the intonation of his words (when he chose to speak more like himself) shone clearly behind the strangerās face. Even the face wasnāt that differentā¦Itachi had left quite lot of similarity to his own looks, like a rhyming echo of his own appearance to those who knew him.
Finn takes the seat across from him at the table, eyes flickering down to the papers spread before them and then back up to the manās face. ]
I just wanted to talk. [ He grins, nudging the bag closer. ] Thereās doughnuts, if you want one.
ļ¼ his attention flickers to the bag, and then back to finn.
after a moment's deliberation, he opens the bag to retrieve a single donut, which he sort of. holds? awkwardly? he's not used to things that you can't eat in one bite, so this is a brand new (and sort of awful) experience for him.
so he mostly just. yep. awkward holding. until he figures out how he can take a dignified bite. ļ¼
ļ¼ look,,,,,, he ... manages. delicately. after a moment. like he had to plan his attack first, not entirely unlike a raptor trying to navigate an electric fence. as he chews, and neatly sweeps the crumbs (crumbs: the worst) into a little pile for ease of clean-up later. ļ¼
The vote, you mean.
ļ¼ it's said as he rises from the kitchen table, donut still held gingerly in one hand, to set the kettle to boil. he busies himself with the preparation of tea, though it's evident his attention is still on finn as he moves soundlessly about. ļ¼
[ His tone is flat, looking at the donut in his hand. ]
Everyoneās been talking about it and I donāt know why so many people wanna leave. Itās just like Cirawei! We didnāt leave but a lot of people thought we should...
[ There was an obvious frustration in his voice; there were more than a few members of the crew here who had proven themselves to be quite self-centered in their goals. The orb was all that mattered to them, regardless of the chaos they left in their wake, and regardless of what they need to do to achieve their reward. ]
It is because of Cirawei that those who have been present on the Ximilia longer would very likely prefer to leave.
ļ¼ he says that gently, after a long moment of consideration darkens the rich brown eyes that both are and aren't at all similar to his own. he sets the donut on a plate as he waits for the tea to steep, and turns to face finn directly as he does. he folds his arms after a moment, shifting them a bit lower than is his usual custom by virtue of having breasts. ļ¼
Have you familiarized yourself with our prior missions, Finn?
[ Finn shrugs his shoulders, a quick, noncommittal gesture. A touch defensive, even. ]
You mean likeā¦did I read all those files? [ Those longā¦long files. ] Not reallyā¦but I have talked to people about some the missions. Kinda.
[ It was hard to piece together an accurate picture through passing conversations and the limited, but very personal experiences people had shared with him. But Finn had never been very good at looking at the big picture, drawn naturally to the smaller problems of individuals. ]
I know there was one that people thinkā¦we stayed too long?
ļ¼ itachi takes a breath, and then reaches up to rub absently along one side of his nose before turning back to the tea. those two cups are brought to the table and set soundlessly down, as itachi sits across from finn.
he laces hands that have never known a knife before him, and sits with that casual regality he sometimes comports himself with, legs crossed at the ankle. ļ¼
It was not a matter of 'think'. We remained against Viveca's urgings, against the wishes of the people, in a place we were neither welcomed nor needed. Viveca herself said that the time taken there resulted in our shortage of it on Cirawei. Those of us that made that choice are directly responsible for the lives we could not save on Cirawei.
[ finn sits across from him with considerably less composure, shoulders slumped looking down at the cup of tea, a languid curl of steam rising from it. He pulls his mouth to one side, a displeased expression darkening his face at that answer. ]
Butā¦this is different. Itās not against the wishes of the peopleā¦and we have people with skills that are needed. We could help people here.
[ āWeā in this case, Finn knew, meaningā¦other people. Doctors, healers, scientists. People with abilities and knowledge he didnāt have. ]
That is not the point I intended you to take away. We remained in a world beyond the time we could have reasonably retrieved the orb, and in doing so we doomed many people on another. If we leave the Ndiera Complex and lives are lost as a result, that is tragic. But there is no guarantee our staying would provide succor for those affected — we have only a small handful of individuals with knowledge and skill that may — may be applicable here. What do you think is an acceptable length of time for us to remain here? And if we cannot accomplish anything in that time, do we stay longer? Do we leave?
[ Finn shoots him a frustrated look over their tea, the question stopping him in his tracks. ]
Well- [ he bites his lip, his frustration starting to bubble over into something very close to anger. ] Well you donāt know either! Everyone here acts like they know whatās gonna happen, but you donāt!
I am not saying that I do. Only that one must consider all possibilities, and make the choice of least harm. Those choices will vary between individuals, informed by their own experiences. None are explicitly 'wrong'. I would suspect very few people aboard the Ximilia of the genuine malice of wishing death upon the residents of Ndeira.
ļ¼ long fingers are latticed together before him, providing a protective lee for that small teacup. ļ¼
In my world, medical ninjutsu is very recent — it has only become a widespread art within the last quarter-century, barely predating my own life. Now, most three-man cells have a medical shinobi to support their comrades. What do you think is the first duty of a medic-nin on a battlefield?
[ finn shifts restlessly on his side of the table, a feeling of too much energy gripping him, making him anxious and uneasy. He taps his foot. ]
I donāt know. Always help your team mates? [ It was curt, much more so than usual. His errant anxiety running headlong into the brick wall of Itachiās cool, patient demeanor. A demeanor that usually Finn found calming, but right now he found profoundly irritating. ]
It is to ensure, by any means necessary, that you are the last among your cell to die.
ļ¼ it is a cruel thing, but strategically important. targeting the medic is a good way to make a team's front line offensive fall apart. as tactics go, he has used it himself more than once. ļ¼
When you are meant to help others, it becomes your duty to ensure you are well-trained, well-rested, well-positioned to do those things. But you cannot only think of the others in front of you. You must consider the next battle, and the next. I say, there is no guarantee we could help the people of Ndeira. You say there is no guarantee we couldn't. We are both correct to say so. But, ļ¼ always the 'but' with this one. ļ¼ If we remain here, and save a few thousand lives — which is a worthwhile cause in and of itself — but doom another planet in its entirety as a result of the additional time taken — what would you feel about our choice to stay?
[ Being of a certain (and volatile) age entitled Finn to a degree of selective hearing that someone even a few years older would not have been. Or maybe - more accurately - a degree of selective acceptance. Confronted now, with an impossible to answer conundrumā¦the conundrum of their time here, really, his anxiety makes the leap into full blown resentment. ]
I would feel terrible! So why do we even bother?
[ He glares across the table at Itachi, a tense set to his shoulders. He looked ready to get up and leave at any moment, either politeness or need for reassurance keeping him anchored tenuously to the spot. At the end of the day, Finn wasnāt quick to anger, or quick to dismiss someoneās viewā¦especially not someone he respected as much as this man. But heād been brooding abstractly on this subject for days, and the easy answers not being handed to him were creating an internal storm of emotions that grew challenging to control. ]
Why donāt we just stop even trying to help! We can just finish all these missions as quickly as possible, and leave and not have to think about it.
[ He stands abruptly, the teacup rattling softly. ]
ļ¼ itachi does not flinch from the storm of the boy's emotions. instead, he meets his eyes with a steady gaze, and cants his head very faintly to one side. ļ¼
Do you believe that is the better solution?
ļ¼ he knows it is just boyish hurt and heroism at war. it is not the first time that finn has reminded him of naruto. ļ¼
[ There was a long silence, Finn standing still on the other side of the table, clenching and unclenching his fists once, a frustrated sense of helplessness and ignorance enveloping him. When he finally speaks thereās still anger, but itās softer. ]
ļ¼ even now, of his own choices, he cannot say. is the suffering he has put into the world proportionate to what he has saved?
can he be a man who justifies his actions thusly, even if that were to be the case?
he drains off the rest of his tea and stands, comes over to finn and puts a hand on his shoulder. ophelia is the same height as he is — something he had not felt particularly motivated to alter — so this is not such a divorce from their usual. his fingers flex, against the fabric of the boy's shirt.
(the boy is taller now himself, he notes.) ļ¼
You are a good person, Finn. You wish to put good things into the world, and you empathize with those in difficult situations such as the one we now face. Possessing that empathy is invaluable, because it means you will always be driven to care, and to try. But that hope and that love can also bring you pain, because sometimes, there is no winning move.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Action; sometime during mission voting
Moving into the kitchenette of the small apartment, the afternoon sun casting a warm glow over the space, he drops a paper bag on the table, dusting loose powder from his hands. ]
Hey, Itachi? You busy?
no subject
Not at the moment. What do you need?
ļ¼ the voice may not be his, but the inflection certainly is. as 'ophelia' he tends to pitch it higher, carry more emotion — but there is no need to maintain such a thing around one who knows it's him beneath the borrowed face and body. ļ¼
no subject
But it had quickly become easy to recognize the man he knew beneath the artifice. The subtleties of his expressions, and the intonation of his words (when he chose to speak more like himself) shone clearly behind the strangerās face. Even the face wasnāt that differentā¦Itachi had left quite lot of similarity to his own looks, like a rhyming echo of his own appearance to those who knew him.
Finn takes the seat across from him at the table, eyes flickering down to the papers spread before them and then back up to the manās face. ]
I just wanted to talk. [ He grins, nudging the bag closer. ] Thereās doughnuts, if you want one.
no subject
after a moment's deliberation, he opens the bag to retrieve a single donut, which he sort of. holds? awkwardly? he's not used to things that you can't eat in one bite, so this is a brand new (and sort of awful) experience for him.
so he mostly just. yep. awkward holding. until he figures out how he can take a dignified bite. ļ¼
Is it in regards to anything specific?
no subject
No.
[ He drums his fingers on the table. ]
Yes.
[ He reaches across the table to take a donut out of the bag for himself. ]
Itās aboutā¦the mission.
no subject
The vote, you mean.
ļ¼ it's said as he rises from the kitchen table, donut still held gingerly in one hand, to set the kettle to boil. he busies himself with the preparation of tea, though it's evident his attention is still on finn as he moves soundlessly about. ļ¼
no subject
[ His tone is flat, looking at the donut in his hand. ]
Everyoneās been talking about it and I donāt know why so many people wanna leave. Itās just like Cirawei! We didnāt leave but a lot of people thought we should...
[ There was an obvious frustration in his voice; there were more than a few members of the crew here who had proven themselves to be quite self-centered in their goals. The orb was all that mattered to them, regardless of the chaos they left in their wake, and regardless of what they need to do to achieve their reward. ]
no subject
ļ¼ he says that gently, after a long moment of consideration darkens the rich brown eyes that both are and aren't at all similar to his own. he sets the donut on a plate as he waits for the tea to steep, and turns to face finn directly as he does. he folds his arms after a moment, shifting them a bit lower than is his usual custom by virtue of having breasts. ļ¼
Have you familiarized yourself with our prior missions, Finn?
no subject
You mean likeā¦did I read all those files? [ Those longā¦long files. ] Not reallyā¦but I have talked to people about some the missions. Kinda.
[ It was hard to piece together an accurate picture through passing conversations and the limited, but very personal experiences people had shared with him. But Finn had never been very good at looking at the big picture, drawn naturally to the smaller problems of individuals. ]
I know there was one that people thinkā¦we stayed too long?
no subject
he laces hands that have never known a knife before him, and sits with that casual regality he sometimes comports himself with, legs crossed at the ankle. ļ¼
It was not a matter of 'think'. We remained against Viveca's urgings, against the wishes of the people, in a place we were neither welcomed nor needed. Viveca herself said that the time taken there resulted in our shortage of it on Cirawei. Those of us that made that choice are directly responsible for the lives we could not save on Cirawei.
no subject
Butā¦this is different. Itās not against the wishes of the peopleā¦and we have people with skills that are needed. We could help people here.
[ āWeā in this case, Finn knew, meaningā¦other people. Doctors, healers, scientists. People with abilities and knowledge he didnāt have. ]
no subject
ļ¼ asking the hard questions now, finn. ļ¼
no subject
Well- [ he bites his lip, his frustration starting to bubble over into something very close to anger. ] Well you donāt know either! Everyone here acts like they know whatās gonna happen, but you donāt!
no subject
I am not saying that I do. Only that one must consider all possibilities, and make the choice of least harm. Those choices will vary between individuals, informed by their own experiences. None are explicitly 'wrong'. I would suspect very few people aboard the Ximilia of the genuine malice of wishing death upon the residents of Ndeira.
ļ¼ long fingers are latticed together before him, providing a protective lee for that small teacup. ļ¼
In my world, medical ninjutsu is very recent — it has only become a widespread art within the last quarter-century, barely predating my own life. Now, most three-man cells have a medical shinobi to support their comrades. What do you think is the first duty of a medic-nin on a battlefield?
no subject
I donāt know. Always help your team mates? [ It was curt, much more so than usual. His errant anxiety running headlong into the brick wall of Itachiās cool, patient demeanor. A demeanor that usually Finn found calming, but right now he found profoundly irritating. ]
no subject
ļ¼ it is a cruel thing, but strategically important. targeting the medic is a good way to make a team's front line offensive fall apart. as tactics go, he has used it himself more than once. ļ¼
When you are meant to help others, it becomes your duty to ensure you are well-trained, well-rested, well-positioned to do those things. But you cannot only think of the others in front of you. You must consider the next battle, and the next. I say, there is no guarantee we could help the people of Ndeira. You say there is no guarantee we couldn't. We are both correct to say so. But, ļ¼ always the 'but' with this one. ļ¼ If we remain here, and save a few thousand lives — which is a worthwhile cause in and of itself — but doom another planet in its entirety as a result of the additional time taken — what would you feel about our choice to stay?
no subject
I would feel terrible! So why do we even bother?
[ He glares across the table at Itachi, a tense set to his shoulders. He looked ready to get up and leave at any moment, either politeness or need for reassurance keeping him anchored tenuously to the spot. At the end of the day, Finn wasnāt quick to anger, or quick to dismiss someoneās viewā¦especially not someone he respected as much as this man. But heād been brooding abstractly on this subject for days, and the easy answers not being handed to him were creating an internal storm of emotions that grew challenging to control. ]
Why donāt we just stop even trying to help! We can just finish all these missions as quickly as possible, and leave and not have to think about it.
[ He stands abruptly, the teacup rattling softly. ]
no subject
Do you believe that is the better solution?
ļ¼ he knows it is just boyish hurt and heroism at war. it is not the first time that finn has reminded him of naruto. ļ¼
no subject
ā¦no.
no subject
ļ¼ even now, of his own choices, he cannot say. is the suffering he has put into the world proportionate to what he has saved?
can he be a man who justifies his actions thusly, even if that were to be the case?
he drains off the rest of his tea and stands, comes over to finn and puts a hand on his shoulder. ophelia is the same height as he is — something he had not felt particularly motivated to alter — so this is not such a divorce from their usual. his fingers flex, against the fabric of the boy's shirt.
(the boy is taller now himself, he notes.) ļ¼
You are a good person, Finn. You wish to put good things into the world, and you empathize with those in difficult situations such as the one we now face. Possessing that empathy is invaluable, because it means you will always be driven to care, and to try. But that hope and that love can also bring you pain, because sometimes, there is no winning move.