๏ผ wei wuxian saw a cruel world, and thought only of how to fix it. there had never been a moment's concern for how he might bleed for it, how deeply the fixing may cut. ๏ผ
But you have already been doing that, well before I met you. There can be a point where you have given enough, you know.
๏ผ his tone is gentle, and there is no judgment in it. perhaps he simply wants the man to make the choice for himself, because he deserves the opportunity to see the beauty and the wonder in the universe, not because there is some duty waiting for him that lurks beyond the veil of stars. ๏ผ
[From someone else, anyone else, he would push the sentiment aside, sure of his own failures in that regard. With Itachi, he at least pauses to give the idea its due.]
I certainly tried. [He admits after a long moment, his voice soft and a little melancholy.]
...it's hard to see it that way when I failed so spectacularly. I don't mean to gather pity with that, it's true. I wanted to do right by the world, but in the end, I caused more harm and the Wen still died. [A beat.]
Well, almost all of them. [And his smile softens.] It still feels unreal that a-Yuan lived, even now that he's here. Maybe I did a little good, hmm? Despite all of my blundering.
๏ผ they might be sitting fellas is it gay to sit six feet apart from your best friend in a hot tub naked some distance apart from one another, but itachi does slip closer, puts one hand on wei wuxian's shoulder and with the other hand curls his fingers beneath the man's chin and tips it up. ๏ผ
The hardest thing to do in the world is to try and leave it a better place than you found it. How many thousands of others with power and means well beyond your own never even tried? Failure is irrelevant. You gave all that anyone could have asked of you. That it was not enough is a burden of the mind, not the spirit.
๏ผ he gives the man a pointed look, and then lets his hand drop away. ๏ผ
[Itachi's fingers curled beneath his chin are gentle though they might as well be made of iron for all that Wei Wuxian can't look away from his gaze. It's a strange thing to Wei Wuxian, that so many should fear the red of the sharingan, when its his natural gaze that holds so much power.
He huffs quietly, ignoring the way his pulse jumps in his veins.]
Maybe. [He admits, and it's progress even if it doesn't sound like it. The look he gives Itachi isn't quite a smile, but the warmth of affection is undeniable. Maybe one day he'll see his life the way Itachi does, and until then he's glad to have his friend's reassurances.]
Either way I'd like to continue and not just for that. My parents were wanderers and I always wanted to be too. It's in my blood to explore, I just never though it would be on such a grand scale.
[He shakes his head, but his expression brightens all the same.]
I know almost nothing. I know my father, Wei Changze, was a commoner who rose to be Jiang Fengmian's right hand disciple. I've told you about my mother before, haven't I? That she was the disciple of an immortal cultivator? [He's sure he has but even if he hasn't, that's not what Itachi asked. He asked what they were like.]
People say I'm like her. [His smile warms.] That she was mischievous and always questioning things, just like me. My father was...soft spoken, from what I've heard. Quiet, but not shy. Warm.
And they loved each other very much. That I know. [He turns his smile to the water.]
I don't remember them. I was so young when they were killed on a nighthunt. But...I have a single memory. Barely a memory at that, it's more a feeling. [He pauses to lift his head, his eyes fixed on a point in the distance.]
We were on the road. My mother and I were riding a donkey. She had her arms around me, and my father...he was leading the donkey by the reins. I don't remember their faces, but they were happy. Smiling at each other, and laughing. I only remember...I remember feeling safe. I remember feeling loved.
[He blinks himself out of his reverie and smiles sheepishly.] Sorry, that wasn't exactly what you asked. [He lets out a soft laugh.]
๏ผ his own expression is soft, listening to him recount it. it does hurt, that he knows so little. but the empathy is a distant ache, easily set aside. many children are orphans. many have even fewer memories than that. their worlds have a shared violence that they cannot so easily escape. he too looks askance, imagining it. a little boy with dark hair and a mischievous smile is not difficult to imagine. nor the warmth of the mother, nor even the laughter. ๏ผ
I am ๏ผ one of his faint pauses, as he casts about for an appropriate word. ultimately, he settles on one that is simplistic in its conveyance, and boundless in its care — ๏ผ gladdened, that you have that. I only wish you had more.
[That warm gaze moves back to Itachi and he shakes his head.]
It's alright. It's enough. I had a loving family once and that's so much. [It's so much more than what so many others have.] And I love my siblings. I can't imagine a life without them. [For all the bad, for all the dysfunction and pain, he won't ever think of himself as anything but lucky to have lived with the Jiangs.]
Who knows, maybe I'll meet them again in another life. Maybe I'll even be theirs again. [he chuckles lightly.] Who can say?
[With a nod, Wei Wuxian rises and exits the hot spring, wrapping a towel around his waist and squeezing the excess water from his hair. As he dries, he shoots a contemplative glance Itachi's way before returning his attention to drying.]
Would you tell me what your parents are like? [Only if he wants remains unspoken but very clear. Whatever relationship Itachi has with his parents most likely suffered from the things he'd done and he isn't sure if it's something the man is willing to share. He does trust that even if he isn't willing, he won't begrudge Wei Wuxian for asking.]
๏ผ it is a measure of reassurance, offered as he mirrors the toweling off. his clothing is easily retrievable from a locker, and it's as he is sorting through the neatly folded items that he continues: ๏ผ
My father is a stern man. He was under a considerable amount of pressure from a young age, and it... shaped him. He is the head of the Uchiha clan, but he was not born to it. My mother was the granddaughter of one of the founding members of Konoha, and she lost several older brothers in the war. He went from married to a woman with no claim herself to the position of clan-head, to one who carried the weight of our people on his shoulders within the span of a year. It wearied him. However... He never missed an opportunity to tell me he was proud of me. It was one of the last things he said to me before I left Konoha.
๏ผ he speaks softly. for all his father's foibles — and he has not failed to notice them — itachi still speaks of him with quiet affection. ๏ผ
My mother is sweet and warm. I never saw her pass someone in need of assistance without offering her own. It did not matter how wearied she was when she returned from a mission, she always made time for Sasuke. I have memories of her as a child, telling stories at my bedside. She watched over me when I was ill, or injured. She has a way of being... present, that is difficult to quantify.
[He has wondered before if Itachi's parents are still alive, and the way he speaks of them now makes it seems more likely that a rift exists between them only due to his leaving his village. He can't imagine what it would be to leave them behind. It's easy to hear the love Itachi holds for them in his words.]
Your father must have been under so much pressure. [He hears the echoes of Jiang Cheng's story in Itachi's father, though at least Jiang Cheng knew he'd inherit the mantle one day. (That the day had come too soon and before any of them were prepared didn't erase the fact that he had known leadership would eventually be his.) That last bit about Itachi's father makes his heart a little lighter.] He sounds like a good man.
And your mother so full of love. I'm glad you and Sasuke had her. ["Had," he says, though he has to imagine that even now with all that Itachi has done, wherever his mother is, whatever Itachi believes, she must still love him. A mother like that loves their child until the day they take their final breath, he feels it in his soul.]
๏ผ he reaches up, touches his fingers along the bone of his cheek and then drops his hand away, shrugging back into his clothing. his dark hair is unwound from its bun, and combed through with clever fingers. ๏ผ
Sasuke and I are alike in this. One could not mistake us as strangers to meet us.
[That gets a soft snort under his breath and he tries to picture it as he tugs his clothes back on, tying his still damp hair up with a red ribbon.]
What a good looking family. [He teases.
There are other questions he could ask and other subjects about Itachi's family that he's curious about, but he knows there are stumbling blocks here and he's happy not to have tripped over any of them yet. It seems a better thing to let things lie for now.]
๏ผ joking about such things is... not easy. should wei wuxian ever learn the truth — a not-insurmountable task, given their roles aboard the ximilia — he knows it will wound the man that he could not be honest in this instance. but he does not wish to harm him in the now any more than he must. ๏ผ
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no subject
๏ผ wei wuxian saw a cruel world, and thought only of how to fix it. there had never been a moment's concern for how he might bleed for it, how deeply the fixing may cut. ๏ผ
But you have already been doing that, well before I met you. There can be a point where you have given enough, you know.
๏ผ his tone is gentle, and there is no judgment in it. perhaps he simply wants the man to make the choice for himself, because he deserves the opportunity to see the beauty and the wonder in the universe, not because there is some duty waiting for him that lurks beyond the veil of stars. ๏ผ
no subject
I certainly tried. [He admits after a long moment, his voice soft and a little melancholy.]
...it's hard to see it that way when I failed so spectacularly. I don't mean to gather pity with that, it's true. I wanted to do right by the world, but in the end, I caused more harm and the Wen still died. [A beat.]
Well, almost all of them. [And his smile softens.] It still feels unreal that a-Yuan lived, even now that he's here. Maybe I did a little good, hmm? Despite all of my blundering.
no subject
fellas is it gay to sit six feet apart from your best friend in a hot tub nakedsome distance apart from one another, but itachi does slip closer, puts one hand on wei wuxian's shoulder and with the other hand curls his fingers beneath the man's chin and tips it up. ๏ผThe hardest thing to do in the world is to try and leave it a better place than you found it. How many thousands of others with power and means well beyond your own never even tried? Failure is irrelevant. You gave all that anyone could have asked of you. That it was not enough is a burden of the mind, not the spirit.
๏ผ he gives the man a pointed look, and then lets his hand drop away. ๏ผ
One life was saved. That is everything.
no subject
He huffs quietly, ignoring the way his pulse jumps in his veins.]
Maybe. [He admits, and it's progress even if it doesn't sound like it. The look he gives Itachi isn't quite a smile, but the warmth of affection is undeniable. Maybe one day he'll see his life the way Itachi does, and until then he's glad to have his friend's reassurances.]
Either way I'd like to continue and not just for that. My parents were wanderers and I always wanted to be too. It's in my blood to explore, I just never though it would be on such a grand scale.
no subject
Do you know much of what they were like?
no subject
I know almost nothing. I know my father, Wei Changze, was a commoner who rose to be Jiang Fengmian's right hand disciple. I've told you about my mother before, haven't I? That she was the disciple of an immortal cultivator? [He's sure he has but even if he hasn't, that's not what Itachi asked. He asked what they were like.]
People say I'm like her. [His smile warms.] That she was mischievous and always questioning things, just like me. My father was...soft spoken, from what I've heard. Quiet, but not shy. Warm.
And they loved each other very much. That I know. [He turns his smile to the water.]
I don't remember them. I was so young when they were killed on a nighthunt. But...I have a single memory. Barely a memory at that, it's more a feeling. [He pauses to lift his head, his eyes fixed on a point in the distance.]
We were on the road. My mother and I were riding a donkey. She had her arms around me, and my father...he was leading the donkey by the reins. I don't remember their faces, but they were happy. Smiling at each other, and laughing. I only remember...I remember feeling safe. I remember feeling loved.
[He blinks himself out of his reverie and smiles sheepishly.] Sorry, that wasn't exactly what you asked. [He lets out a soft laugh.]
no subject
I am ๏ผ one of his faint pauses, as he casts about for an appropriate word. ultimately, he settles on one that is simplistic in its conveyance, and boundless in its care — ๏ผ gladdened, that you have that. I only wish you had more.
no subject
It's alright. It's enough. I had a loving family once and that's so much. [It's so much more than what so many others have.] And I love my siblings. I can't imagine a life without them. [For all the bad, for all the dysfunction and pain, he won't ever think of himself as anything but lucky to have lived with the Jiangs.]
Who knows, maybe I'll meet them again in another life. Maybe I'll even be theirs again. [he chuckles lightly.] Who can say?
no subject
๏ผ he is silent for a time, fiddling with an errant strand of hair, coiling it back around the bun. ๏ผ
Come. We should return to my room.
no subject
Would you tell me what your parents are like? [Only if he wants remains unspoken but very clear. Whatever relationship Itachi has with his parents most likely suffered from the things he'd done and he isn't sure if it's something the man is willing to share. He does trust that even if he isn't willing, he won't begrudge Wei Wuxian for asking.]
no subject
๏ผ it is a measure of reassurance, offered as he mirrors the toweling off. his clothing is easily retrievable from a locker, and it's as he is sorting through the neatly folded items that he continues: ๏ผ
My father is a stern man. He was under a considerable amount of pressure from a young age, and it... shaped him. He is the head of the Uchiha clan, but he was not born to it. My mother was the granddaughter of one of the founding members of Konoha, and she lost several older brothers in the war. He went from married to a woman with no claim herself to the position of clan-head, to one who carried the weight of our people on his shoulders within the span of a year. It wearied him. However... He never missed an opportunity to tell me he was proud of me. It was one of the last things he said to me before I left Konoha.
๏ผ he speaks softly. for all his father's foibles — and he has not failed to notice them — itachi still speaks of him with quiet affection. ๏ผ
My mother is sweet and warm. I never saw her pass someone in need of assistance without offering her own. It did not matter how wearied she was when she returned from a mission, she always made time for Sasuke. I have memories of her as a child, telling stories at my bedside. She watched over me when I was ill, or injured. She has a way of being... present, that is difficult to quantify.
no subject
Your father must have been under so much pressure. [He hears the echoes of Jiang Cheng's story in Itachi's father, though at least Jiang Cheng knew he'd inherit the mantle one day. (That the day had come too soon and before any of them were prepared didn't erase the fact that he had known leadership would eventually be his.) That last bit about Itachi's father makes his heart a little lighter.] He sounds like a good man.
And your mother so full of love. I'm glad you and Sasuke had her. ["Had," he says, though he has to imagine that even now with all that Itachi has done, wherever his mother is, whatever Itachi believes, she must still love him. A mother like that loves their child until the day they take their final breath, he feels it in his soul.]
Do you look a lot like them?
no subject
๏ผ he reaches up, touches his fingers along the bone of his cheek and then drops his hand away, shrugging back into his clothing. his dark hair is unwound from its bun, and combed through with clever fingers. ๏ผ
Sasuke and I are alike in this. One could not mistake us as strangers to meet us.
no subject
What a good looking family. [He teases.
There are other questions he could ask and other subjects about Itachi's family that he's curious about, but he knows there are stumbling blocks here and he's happy not to have tripped over any of them yet. It seems a better thing to let things lie for now.]
Are you ready to head up?
no subject
๏ผ joking about such things is... not easy. should wei wuxian ever learn the truth — a not-insurmountable task, given their roles aboard the ximilia — he knows it will wound the man that he could not be honest in this instance. but he does not wish to harm him in the now any more than he must. ๏ผ
Come. I will make us tea.