[ Leave it to Itachi to see right through to the heart of things. It was just like their first face-to-face meeting; slicing to the very core of him with what felt like no effort at all. Looking at the illusion of him now, it kind of reminded Finn of more than just his own mother. As Finn tugs curiously on that thread of his own mind, the smell of vinegar and tea is suddenly replaced with that of blood and hay.
Did he take this form on purpose, to mess with me? Is this another test?
It's a wild, uncharitable thought that chokes Finn with guilt the moment he arrives at it. The contents of his vault were full to bursting these days, allowing the faint traces of unaddressed trauma to seep out from the seams along the bolted door. It's all Finn can do to take another huge bite of his dinner, straining his jaw as he chewed nearly the bowl of rice in one mouthful.
It bought him time to tuck things back where they needed to go. His mom, his dad, both of them were placed carefully back in the faux-existence they'd chosen for themselves over Finn. Itachi wasn't either of them, and he wasn't trying to hurt him, he was just... Itachi. Impossibly cool, impossibly boring old Itachi. The dude who got him out of kid jail, who liked to make corndogs just because he loved his friend, and who was nice to him. Who was being nice to him right now.
Finn swallows with a soft bleh of regret, rubbing at his sore jaw. He flicks his eyes up to the older man, shrugging bashfully. ]
Yeah, I hear you. I mean, if all I can do is make somebody feel better, at least that's kinda useful. [ The word feels strange in Finn's mouth, once again calling back to a prior conversation. His vault was really giving him trouble today, dang. Better make his grin even goofier to compensate. ] Silver linings, right?
（ there is much to be said about the way genjutsu hones the mind. itachi studies the boy. the way he eats. the way he smiles. the way he speaks. everything has an identifiable vector, the point at which a nascent emotion blossomed into life, and choked on the cloying rage.
he lifts the tea. takes a mild sip. then, as he sets it soundlessly down: ）
[ There's something insufferably teenage about the sigh that escapes Finn's lips as he slumps down in his chair, albeit born from the kind of teenager that didn't often have the luxury of existing in Itachi's world. He stirs his chopsticks around in the rice with mild irritation, eyes cast down. It's the kind of look that says why won't you drop this, or more accurately caught. ]
I don't know, because it is! I guess. It's like the job you gave me on Ciraiwei. Like, I know it was important to keep the kids calm, but it's not like I was one of the people actually getting them out of there. [ Another huffing sigh, his own thoughts clarifying as he speaks them. ] It's not like I'm crunked about it or anything. I'm used to fighting with or, like, against people way stronger than me. And it never bothered or scared me before, but I guess it's just--we're not even fighting here, most of the time. The only thing I'm not totally bunk at other than that is, I dunno...babysitting.
[ More rice stirring. He risks a quick glance up to Itachi, briefly startled all over again to not see his friend's actual face there before looking back at his bowl. ]
I just- when I first got here, I thought maybe I'd finally found my people. [ He pulls a face, clarifying quickly. ] But then we get these missions where the whole point is pretending to be someone else, some other human, and it's like... everyone just knows how to do it. Like, they've known so many humans in their lives, it's not even hard.
[ He pushes his hand back through his hair, frustration settling into something quieter. ]
I don't care if I'm a weirdo, I'm used to that. But I thought I’d feel more like…I fit in. And like…I can help. But mostly I’ve just needed rescuing, and then it’s like…I’m just another part of the job.
（ he listens. there is no judgment in his expression, and at no point does he seem primed to interject. he simply lets finn talk, and whatever the spill of tangled emotions evokes in him remain solidly behind the mask of a face that is not his own.
then he reaches out across the table, and touches finn's wrist very briefly, there and gone. ）
I understand.
（ his own feelings are not quite the same. he is certainly a stranger to the sting of those feelings of helpless uselessness that finn describes. but there are other things that dovetail into one another. the social conventions, the customs, the languages, the clothing. the way so many of the others have come to know what is normal to him, and called it otherwise.
he sets his jaw briefly, and then: ）
When the world has been on your shoulders, it is easy to take any amount of lifted weight as pity. （ his mouth quirks in something that may have been a smile, were it not so bleakly humourous. ） However, you are not incorrect in saying that the majority of the missions do not require fighting of the sort at which you and I excel. So tell me — what are some other skills you think would be worthwhile to cultivate?
[ Finn’s brow furrows, glancing at Itachi with a sullen expression that was uncharacteristic, although perhaps more familiar to Itachi than to many other members of the crew. ]
I-I don’t know…I don’t know much other than fighting. And…and a lot of the really useful junk other people do is like. They have special powers, they’re super geniuses or they’re immortal…
[ Finn shrugs his shoulders, looking to the side with a somewhat defeated sigh. ]
I guess here I’m…pretty normal. I’m just. A regular human. What good is that?
[ finn raises his eyebrows, feeling like he’d just had a pop quiz sprung on him. Or he would, if he had any idea what that felt like. ]
You? You…well, uh…you have all kinds of cool ninja powers, and illusions and… [ He hesitates before gesturing broadly at Itachi himself, at the utterly convincing disguise that he’d so effortlessly enacted. ] Stuff.
And if you were to remove those things from me — as some missions have done — thus effectively making me a 'regular human', would you deride my usefulness the way you just did your own?
[ Finn stares at him, realization of the set-up he’d walked right into dawning quickly. ]
Alright, I get it. [ He sighs, rolling his shoulders in a petulant shrug. Trying to brush off the very valid point that Itachi was trying to make. ]
But you’re still like…you’ve got so many skills! You’re good at acting like someone else, or being stealthy, or that- that cool knife stuff. [ a brief huff ] You’re even good at cooking!
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Did he take this form on purpose, to mess with me? Is this another test?
It's a wild, uncharitable thought that chokes Finn with guilt the moment he arrives at it. The contents of his vault were full to bursting these days, allowing the faint traces of unaddressed trauma to seep out from the seams along the bolted door. It's all Finn can do to take another huge bite of his dinner, straining his jaw as he chewed nearly the bowl of rice in one mouthful.
It bought him time to tuck things back where they needed to go. His mom, his dad, both of them were placed carefully back in the faux-existence they'd chosen for themselves
over Finn. Itachi wasn't either of them, and he wasn't trying to hurt him, he was just... Itachi. Impossibly cool, impossibly boring old Itachi. The dude who got him out of kid jail, who liked to make corndogs just because he loved his friend, and who was nice to him. Who was being nice to him right now.Finn swallows with a soft bleh of regret, rubbing at his sore jaw. He flicks his eyes up to the older man, shrugging bashfully. ]
Yeah, I hear you. I mean, if all I can do is make somebody feel better, at least that's kinda useful. [ The word feels strange in Finn's mouth, once again calling back to a prior conversation. His vault was really giving him trouble today, dang. Better make his grin even goofier to compensate. ] Silver linings, right?
no subject
he lifts the tea. takes a mild sip. then, as he sets it soundlessly down: ）
Why do you say 'kind of' useful?
no subject
I don't know, because it is! I guess. It's like the job you gave me on Ciraiwei. Like, I know it was important to keep the kids calm, but it's not like I was one of the people actually getting them out of there. [ Another huffing sigh, his own thoughts clarifying as he speaks them. ] It's not like I'm crunked about it or anything. I'm used to fighting with or, like, against people way stronger than me. And it never bothered or scared me before, but I guess it's just--we're not even fighting here, most of the time. The only thing I'm not totally bunk at other than that is, I dunno...babysitting.
[ More rice stirring. He risks a quick glance up to Itachi, briefly startled all over again to not see his friend's actual face there before looking back at his bowl. ]
I just- when I first got here, I thought maybe I'd finally found my people. [ He pulls a face, clarifying quickly. ] But then we get these missions where the whole point is pretending to be someone else, some other human, and it's like... everyone just knows how to do it. Like, they've known so many humans in their lives, it's not even hard.
[ He pushes his hand back through his hair, frustration settling into something quieter. ]
I don't care if I'm a weirdo, I'm used to that. But I thought I’d feel more like…I fit in. And like…I can help. But mostly I’ve just needed rescuing, and then it’s like…I’m just another part of the job.
no subject
then he reaches out across the table, and touches finn's wrist very briefly, there and gone. ）
I understand.
（ his own feelings are not quite the same. he is certainly a stranger to the sting of those feelings of helpless uselessness that finn describes. but there are other things that dovetail into one another. the social conventions, the customs, the languages, the clothing. the way so many of the others have come to know what is normal to him, and called it otherwise.
he sets his jaw briefly, and then: ）
When the world has been on your shoulders, it is easy to take any amount of lifted weight as pity. （ his mouth quirks in something that may have been a smile, were it not so bleakly humourous. ） However, you are not incorrect in saying that the majority of the missions do not require fighting of the sort at which you and I excel. So tell me — what are some other skills you think would be worthwhile to cultivate?
no subject
I-I don’t know…I don’t know much other than fighting. And…and a lot of the really useful junk other people do is like. They have special powers, they’re super geniuses or they’re immortal…
[ Finn shrugs his shoulders, looking to the side with a somewhat defeated sigh. ]
I guess here I’m…pretty normal. I’m just. A regular human. What good is that?
no subject
（ a faint cant of his head. errant strands of soft, honey-blonde hair follow the line of his jaw as he does it. ）
no subject
You? You…well, uh…you have all kinds of cool ninja powers, and illusions and… [ He hesitates before gesturing broadly at Itachi himself, at the utterly convincing disguise that he’d so effortlessly enacted. ] Stuff.
no subject
（ it is a pop quiz. and you failed. congrats. ）
no subject
Alright, I get it. [ He sighs, rolling his shoulders in a petulant shrug. Trying to brush off the very valid point that Itachi was trying to make. ]
But you’re still like…you’ve got so many skills! You’re good at acting like someone else, or being stealthy, or that- that cool knife stuff. [ a brief huff ] You’re even good at cooking!