I do love playing chess, but I don't think they'll wonder why we're spending time together. They know I have friends here and respect that.
We could, though. Actually play shogi in between training in the simulation room. Not that I'm looking to occupy all of your time, but I could use with the near constant distractions. Something's happened recently that warrants the need.
agree!! to!! disagree!! he at least has the social cognizance to know not to contradict her directly — it would only be a matter of malice, even if the urge is something he by needs quells. cruelty is a learned thing in him, and at times it is loud as a clarion bell. )
Shogi is simple enough to teach. You may find it stimulating.
Do you wish to speak on what has occurred to warrant the need for distraction?
( he asks more because he is a nosy know-it-all than truly concerned. mostly. )
[she's not expecting him to say that. and it takes her a long time to send anything back to him. she has to think very very carefully on exactly what to say. And she's so grateful he can't see her crying.]
I had to end things with someone I care for because it was what was best for him in the long run. I know I don't have any right to be sad over it. Not since I was the one that ended things. But the loss still hurts, the heartbreak is still there. Even if it was self-inflicted.
๏ผ he hadn't expected what she had to say would resonate in any familiar way. his jaw tightens, and he gives himself a moment before attempting a reply. even that is, perhaps, more kindness than he deserves. ๏ผ
Just because things are necessary does not lessen the hurt. We are human, it is inescapable that we will mourn lost relationships, whatever the reason for the loss.
๏ผ his fingers work against his palm, nails scraping but not digging in. his ring feels impossibly heavy, the black chakra receiver laid into the kanji glints in the dim ambiance of his bedroom.
best for him. he seizes on that. he said he would listen, not lecture, but he is so badly off balance that stopping his brain from transmitting thought proves — difficult. ๏ผ
However, making decisions for the welfare of others without giving them the autonomy to make them for themselves is ๏ผ cruel. ๏ผ a matter of putting your own interiority above theirs. It may be well meant, but it is disservice. If you love someone enough to have a relationship with them, you owe them trust as well. They will not always choose what is best for themselves — that too is human.
๏ผ it is nothing else but hypocrisy. yet, he left his brother's life in tatters because he felt then that he had no other choice. even if it seems to have turned out relatively all right — if he can believe shikamaru, anyway — those years are still lost to trauma, and sasuke will never have that time back. even the good memories will always be tainted by what he has done. is it odd, to regret that now? he spent a decade telling himself there was no other way. that his actions were justified. and now — now, he is here. ๏ผ
[Unfortunately, his response causes Clara to bristle. She instantly closes off the same level of genuine openness she had moments before, if only because she doesn't want to admit she agrees with him on some level.]
No amount of trust is enough to change the fact that we go our separate ways when we leave here. We all will. That's if we even manage to survive long enough to see that we make it back home. And some of us, we don't have happy endings to go back to.
It's better to be cruel now, than to be cowardly and cling hold of someone I care for simply because he makes me feel things like safety and happiness.
[She isn't mad, or even attempting to argue. But she is defensive, and hopes he doesn't hold it against her.]
๏ผ that she is defensive does not trouble him. itachi is far too remote to take things personally in any case. ๏ผ
I am dead in my world.
๏ผ even if this were not a text conversation, that would be said entirely without fanfare, or indeed anything but mild neutrality. he had begun to orchestrate his own death from the time he was twelve years old — existence, to him, could never have given him peace. dying at sasuke's hand was the only end he ever imagined. ๏ผ
Do you think it would serve me here, to inform you there is no point in our acquaintance because of that?
๏ผ she used the word friend. he will not. but if that is how she views them, let her imagine it. ๏ผ
[How depressing is it that death is the one thing they can have in common? It's a common thread that all things have to eventually face. That doesn't make them unique. But the people here who should be dead and yet aren't are an anomaly.]
So what if I told you that every relationship anyone forms here is pointless? I was sent home before. Was back for years, leading up to my death. I didn't remember a thing about being here.
[She hesitates to say that friendships and romance here is pointless, but it's hard to not see it that way once she starts piecing the facts and her theories together.]
The orb brought us here to obtain more power. It stands to reason that it will allow us our acquaintances to keep us motivated while we're here. But once we've served our purpose and our usefulness is debatable, every piece of the life we've made for ourselves here become pointless.
๏ผ he's always been rather ruthlessly pragmatic. ๏ผ
By that logic, we should not seek our bonds in our lives either, because we are all destined for death and to have our deeds and our lives consigned to the anonymity of history.
I understand your rationale, and I am without judgement for your choice. Ultimately, you will do what you feel is necessary and though I do not expect you require support in that, you have mine.
However, to eschew bonds because they are destined to end poorly or that we may fail to recall them is to ignore the fact that these things may happen regardless. We are here. While we are here, it is far more pointless to examine what a possible future may hold than what our present does. If our bonds are forgotten as if they never existed at all once our business here is concluded, do you not think it better to go to your end knowing you did not flinch from love?
No. Right now, no, I don't think that it's better.
I'm not going to get into why I think that, because it doesn't matter in the end. All that matters is that you've agreed to help me train so I can better fulfill my role here. If I'm meant to be an asset to this team and take part in obtaining the orbs, I have to become stronger.
[ She's a little angry at herself for allowing herself to try talking to him about this. Because he's right, and she knows he is. Her pride just won't allow her to admit it. So instead of continuing the topic she just changes the subject and shuts it down. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
I do love playing chess, but I don't think they'll wonder why we're spending time together. They know I have friends here and respect that.
We could, though. Actually play shogi in between training in the simulation room. Not that I'm looking to occupy all of your time, but I could use with the near constant distractions. Something's happened recently that warrants the need.
no subject
agree!! to!! disagree!! he at least has the social cognizance to know not to contradict her directly — it would only be a matter of malice, even if the urge is something he by needs quells. cruelty is a learned thing in him, and at times it is loud as a clarion bell. )
Shogi is simple enough to teach. You may find it stimulating.
Do you wish to speak on what has occurred to warrant the need for distraction?
( he asks more because he is a nosy know-it-all than truly concerned. mostly. )
no subject
[because why would he??]
no subject
( itachi uchiha, agony aunt... )
If you wish to speak on it, I will listen.
no subject
I had to end things with someone I care for because it was what was best for him in the long run. I know I don't have any right to be sad over it. Not since I was the one that ended things. But the loss still hurts, the heartbreak is still there. Even if it was self-inflicted.
no subject
Just because things are necessary does not lessen the hurt. We are human, it is inescapable that we will mourn lost relationships, whatever the reason for the loss.
๏ผ his fingers work against his palm, nails scraping but not digging in. his ring feels impossibly heavy, the black chakra receiver laid into the kanji glints in the dim ambiance of his bedroom.
best for him. he seizes on that. he said he would listen, not lecture, but he is so badly off balance that stopping his brain from transmitting thought proves — difficult. ๏ผ
However, making decisions for the welfare of others without giving them the autonomy to make them for themselves is ๏ผ cruel. ๏ผ a matter of putting your own interiority above theirs. It may be well meant, but it is disservice. If you love someone enough to have a relationship with them, you owe them trust as well. They will not always choose what is best for themselves — that too is human.
๏ผ it is nothing else but hypocrisy. yet, he left his brother's life in tatters because he felt then that he had no other choice. even if it seems to have turned out relatively all right — if he can believe shikamaru, anyway — those years are still lost to trauma, and sasuke will never have that time back. even the good memories will always be tainted by what he has done. is it odd, to regret that now? he spent a decade telling himself there was no other way. that his actions were justified. and now — now, he is here. ๏ผ
no subject
No amount of trust is enough to change the fact that we go our separate ways when we leave here. We all will. That's if we even manage to survive long enough to see that we make it back home. And some of us, we don't have happy endings to go back to.
It's better to be cruel now, than to be cowardly and cling hold of someone I care for simply because he makes me feel things like safety and happiness.
[She isn't mad, or even attempting to argue. But she is defensive, and hopes he doesn't hold it against her.]
cw suicidal ideation;
I am dead in my world.
๏ผ even if this were not a text conversation, that would be said entirely without fanfare, or indeed anything but mild neutrality. he had begun to orchestrate his own death from the time he was twelve years old — existence, to him, could never have given him peace. dying at sasuke's hand was the only end he ever imagined. ๏ผ
Do you think it would serve me here, to inform you there is no point in our acquaintance because of that?
๏ผ she used the word friend. he will not. but if that is how she views them, let her imagine it. ๏ผ
no subject
[How depressing is it that death is the one thing they can have in common? It's a common thread that all things have to eventually face. That doesn't make them unique. But the people here who should be dead and yet aren't are an anomaly.]
So what if I told you that every relationship anyone forms here is pointless? I was sent home before. Was back for years, leading up to my death. I didn't remember a thing about being here.
[She hesitates to say that friendships and romance here is pointless, but it's hard to not see it that way once she starts piecing the facts and her theories together.]
The orb brought us here to obtain more power. It stands to reason that it will allow us our acquaintances to keep us motivated while we're here. But once we've served our purpose and our usefulness is debatable, every piece of the life we've made for ourselves here become pointless.
no subject
๏ผ he's always been rather ruthlessly pragmatic. ๏ผ
By that logic, we should not seek our bonds in our lives either, because we are all destined for death and to have our deeds and our lives consigned to the anonymity of history.
I understand your rationale, and I am without judgement for your choice. Ultimately, you will do what you feel is necessary and though I do not expect you require support in that, you have mine.
However, to eschew bonds because they are destined to end poorly or that we may fail to recall them is to ignore the fact that these things may happen regardless. We are here. While we are here, it is far more pointless to examine what a possible future may hold than what our present does. If our bonds are forgotten as if they never existed at all once our business here is concluded, do you not think it better to go to your end knowing you did not flinch from love?
no subject
No. Right now, no, I don't think that it's better.
I'm not going to get into why I think that, because it doesn't matter in the end. All that matters is that you've agreed to help me train so I can better fulfill my role here. If I'm meant to be an asset to this team and take part in obtaining the orbs, I have to become stronger.
[ She's a little angry at herself for allowing herself to try talking to him about this. Because he's right, and she knows he is. Her pride just won't allow her to admit it. So instead of continuing the topic she just changes the subject and shuts it down. ]
no subject
What time do you wish to begin training?
no subject
I can start now, if you'd like to meet.
no subject
๏ผ even if he's an asshole about it. ๏ผ
That is acceptable. Meet me in the simulation room, I will be there in five minutes' time.