[Feeling a little giddy with Itachi's agreement, he tilts his head and fixes him with a lopsided smile.]
You sleep? [he teases, eyes bright with mirth. He slips his own feet beneath the covers and remains sitting up for now, his back resting against the headboard in parallel to Itachi. In the wake of Gwen's departure they had slept side by side, but it is a very different thing to sleep that way out of a sorrowful desire for comfort than because they simply want to be near each other.
And Wei Wuxian wants to be near him. Knowing that as he sleeps Itachi is within arm's reach makes him feel settled in a way he's never known before. He hugs his knees over the blanket and beams softly at Itachi. Sorry were you trying to read or something?]
（ his tone is desert dry, but not unfond as he gives the man a pointed look over his nicely bound novel.
the beaming is — cute, he would admit. but it needs to be able to compete with the subject matter in which he's embroiled for his interest, and as yet has not quite managed it.
he does reach out with the hand that isn't occupied splaying the book open and turning the pages, and lets his fingers encircle the man's wrist. such a small thing, that touch, but nevertheless it is present and steady. a stroke of his thumb along the radial artery becomes a gentle repetitive motion, as long as wei ying permits the touch. ）
[For a couple of minutes, Wei Wuxian is content to sit quietly and study Itachi's form. Itachi is certainly not unaware, though he seems unbothered by it as he reads his book and so Wei Wuxian takes full advantage, mentally mapping the hair that falls beside his eyes, the focus of his gaze, the line of his nose, and the plush of his lips. His hand remains still beneath Itachi's touch, and his own lips curve into a mischievous smile as he lets out a soft hum.]
You know, [he starts conversationally] my eyes are working especially well tonight. [He taps at his temple with one finger, lips twitching upwards.]
（ it's light and playful more than anything intended as a rebuff or reprimand and he does, after a moment in which he gives wei ying a very stern look, set the book aside on the wobbly nightstand beside the bed. those fingers around the man's wrist curl tighter, and he pulls wei ying towards him by that grip — a distance made nearly inconsequential by the narrowness of the mattress.
then he releases him, reaching up to tuck an errant strand of hair behind his ear. damp, it clings to his skin.
his tone maintains its soft demeanour as he arches one eyebrow to ask — ）
[He laughs under his breath and then goes when Itachi tugs him closer, rolling onto his side to face him. With one hand he props his head up, and with the other he reaches out, fingers ghosting along Itachi's jawline, all the while his eyes still glimmering with mischief.]
Who said I have anything against literature? Reading literature is a perfectly good pastime to have. [He slides a finger beneath Itachi's chin.] It's educational. [He grins.] And it can be fascinating...
[His hand retreats, resting on the scant inch of blanket between them.] I just think that some things are more...interesting. More exciting even.
（ if it were anyone else, exasperation would have seized him by now, and he would have either left the room already or be in the midst of planning an escape route. but it is not anyone else — and that is why he contains it to a faint roll of his eyes, dark with the latent power of the sharingan. it is fondness and not frustration drives it.
this is not exactly a new side of wei ying, but it is the first time he's decided to... flirt with such clear intent, and itachi is not quite certain of how to navigate the experience, nor his own reaction to it. his usual form of riposte may be taken as cruel or a measure of disinterest and that is certainly not what he wishes to convey — but full pliancy is not exactly a direction that speaks to him, either.
he regrets nothing of that night — a kiss shared in the dimly flickering emergency lights of the abandoned station, the clasp of their hands. he regrets nothing and has second guessed no action he took then — but the more difficult way is forward, and not back towards settled, hard-won ground. that is not to say this is unfamiliar, exactly. in many ways, they have been far more open and vulnerable with one-another than what is wrought by a kiss or even sex. but it is... new.
itachi makes a thoughtful 'hm' of sound, and then: ）
I'm not averse to testing that theory, though I strongly disagree.
（ he is a nerd and he loves books and also loves teasing this man beyond reason. ）
However — （ as he says it, he reaches for wei ying, already aware that without a component of physical reassurance, his statement might be... harsh. he rests his hand against the man's wrist in a way that's almost casually natural if not for the fact that itachi is many things, but always deliberate. ） I think it would be wise to discuss first what we both might expect, anticipate or desire from this.
[His expression is a mix of mirth and mock offense, but before he can rise to Itachi's teasing challenge, Itachi continues and Wei Wuxian sobers. It is, as Itachi had aptly predicted, the touch that grounds him and eases him back from any sort of wild assumption driven by his own ongoing struggle with his worth. He sits with the words for a moment and then nods.
In another time or context he would have shied away from giving name or voice to the change between them, afraid that doing do would frighten him away, but this is Itachi. Any lingering doubt is put to rest by the presence of the hand on his wrist. And more than that, he's right. This isn't like anything he's done before, he doesn't know where the lines are or what either of them expects from this. Wouldn't it be better to be clear instead of stumbling his way through and causing offense or harm?[
Mmm, you're right. [He turns his wrist in Itachi's easy grip so that he can slide a thumb along his knuckles.] I've never done this before.
[It's admitted quietly, a little self-consciously, but without judgment.]
I've messed around a handful of times, but I've never...ah. I've never been with anyone I cared about. Like this.
I didn't mean...[he frowns, shaking his head. It isn't the physical lack of experience, but the knowing how any of this works. There is the impulse then—just for a moment—to pull away and hide himself. Instead he takes a steadier breath and holds onto Itachi's hand just a little bit tighter.]
I mean I don't know how relationships work or if that's what this is. [Pause.]
I like kissing you. [He admits after a long pause, trying to force himself out of his head. It seems like a good place to start. It's clear.] I would like to kiss you more. And I'll tell you if I'm uncomfortable. [It isn't something he imagines will ever happen, but reciprocity is important, he knows that at least.]
And if you ever need me to give you space, I'll listen to that too. [Itachi is a private person, and while he knows that he allows Wei Wuxian into his space more than most others, he also knows there are times when he wants to be on his own. He already knows it isn't a condemnation or rejection, and he's going to make himself remember that if his thoughts ever start getting away from him.]
（ wei ying tightens the grip on his hand, and itachi lifts it up in a tangle with his own, resting his cheek against them. with a sort of wry amusement — ）
There are arguments to be made that neither of us know how relationships work or if that is what this is.
（ itachi knows, perhaps too well what being given space can cost his friend, how often it's been used as punishment, and the fact that it is offered so freely makes something in him ache. that, more than anything else, is the impetus that sees him lean forward and press a soft kiss to the corner of the man's mouth. ）
I care for you. You have long been my dearest friend. That comes first for me, and always will. But I have been thinking about what it would be like to kiss you since that day in the snow on Nuhiri, and am not sorry to now know.
[A rapidly spreading blush tints his cheeks and he forces himself to hold Itachi's gaze.]
Since then? [No actually, don't answer that. He doesn't want to have to think about how long he's been wanting this and pretending not to.] You're mine too, Itachi. [His dearest friend. You see me he'd said not so long ago and the word zhiji remains unspoken. His smile reappears.]
And I'm not sorry either. I would like to be even less sorry. [Is that a clever turn of words? Does it even make sense? He doesn't care, Itachi will know what he means.]
（ but it's not a no. this time, the kiss is more deliberate. exploratory. he disentangles their hands now, only to put his to a worthier use — finding a soft grip in the fall of the man's damp hair. ）
[Just like that, their more serious conversation fades and much to Wei Wuxian's delight, Itachi does not return to his book.
Eventually the soft exchange of kisses fades along with Wei Wuxian's slipping wakefulness and he falls into a peaceful sleep, lulled by the tangle of a gentle hand in his hair and the warmth of Itachi's body by his side.
When he wakes again, the sun is high but not so high as his usual waking time (when they are on missions that have a rising sun at least.) It's probably a little after eight if he has to guess. He exhales as he sits up, stretching his arms languidly above his head. He lowers his arms just in time to stifle a yawn, and then begins to take stock of the morning, instinctively searching for his friend.]
（ perhaps it should come as no surprise to find he does actually doze — he has long grown accustomed to having wei ying in his space, albeit not quite so closely. the sound of his breathing, the rise and fall of his chest, all familiar cadences that are now nearly patterned on the fabric of his memory.
but he wakes with the first blush of sun along the horizon, and slips out of bed slowly. a note is left on his pillow in perfect mandarin explaining his absence, training and breakfast and by the time wei ying wakes there is a smell of breakfast below. fish from the local market is fresh and plentiful — not to mention inexpensive — and rice commonly found. more surprising was something resembling dashi broth, repurposed into some manner of miso. pickled vegetables and a light salad round the meal out, and whenever it happens that wei ying ventures downstairs he is sitting at the counter scrolling through a local datapad with a cup of tea not far from his hand. ）
[He's woken to Itachi's presence a dozen—no, dozens—of times before, whether on mission or at the station. He can no longer count the number of nights he's slept in Itachi's room at the station, and they've shared accommodations on missions on a couple of occasions. It might be rare that missions afforded Itachi the means to prepare breakfast, but even that isn't a first.
So Wei Wuxian isn't quite sure why all of it put together gets his heart skipping beats so early in the day as the scent of hot oil and familiar seasonings drifts up into the room where he's eyeing Itachi's note. With a foolish smile he has no intention of showing to Itachi, he steps into the bathroom to wash and change, emerging into the downstairs kitchen with a slightly less dumb looking smile on his face.
His eyes land on Itachi siting at the counter and his heart does that twisty aching thing it's been doing so much lately. The sunlight through the window has lent Itachi a golden glow and for a moment Wei Wuxian wonders if he isn't somehow still sleeping.]
Good morning. [He forces himself to speak, expression warm as he wanders to the counter to serve himself.]
（ there is a hesitation as wei ying comes into the room. something barely perceptible, there and gone. itachi gives him a nod, and when his companion steps up to the countertop itachi hands him a plate. domesticity almost always lives alongside an ache for him. missing something he never truly had — because although his time beneath his father's roof had not been much informed by it, the world he built for izumi was...
(what does it say about him, that the moment he had a world to flesh out and realize, he made it peaceful?)
his mouth sets into a line, and once the man takes the plate, itachi drops his hand against wei ying's elbow and exerts a faint pressure that falls away almost immediately. ）
[If he weren't so attuned to Itachi's mannerisms he might miss that slight pause, but with Itachi, everything means something and so Wei Wuxian takes note. Where the pause comes from though, he doesn't probe. What they're doing here is new for both of them and he doesn't see the need to go poking and prodding every small thing.
He also resists catching Itachi's hand to plant a soft kiss against his knuckles after that elbow squeeze, if only barely. The smile he fixes his friend with likely conveys his warm affection all the same.]
I'm going to look for work in research. Something with field work so that I can travel. I figure the more places I can get to, the more people I can talk to and pick up on any local rumors that sound like the orb's work.
（ hm. he stops, and then takes a moment to collect his thoughts as he plates up his own breakfast. he hadn't wished to eat until wei ying was downstairs — there is something of old cadences long laid to rest, the pulse of a family unit being enlivened by the sharing of food that he had not wished to set aside. ）
I am going to remain here, I think.
（ in and of itself, a departure. itachi has always been quick to enter the fray, dirty his hands. so the thought of him remaining elsewhere, loosening his grip on active engagement...
it tells a story. of someone who has, perhaps, learned to let things go. ）
Warn me ahead of time when you intend to return. I will ensure there is a meal set aside for you.
["You don't have to." He catches himself before the words are out, and this time he doesn't stop himself from reaching out to take Itachi's hand and give it a squeeze. Itachi doesn't have to, he wants to. He wouldn't do it if he didn't want to. Like Itachi's touch to his elbow, the hand squeeze is brief and he pulls it back after just a few seconds.]
Alright, I'll text you. You should let me help cook dinner sometime though. I haven't found any chili peppers here so you don't even have to worry! [Wei Wuxian grins and then returns to his food. It is different for Itachi to play a less active role, and it feels odd, but not in a bad way.]
Do you want me to pick anything up for you while I'm out?
（ wei ying pulls back, and itachi turns his wrist and catches his hand before he can quite back away. he uses that single point of connection like a tether, hauls the man in and presses a kiss against the side of his mouth. there is something exploratory about it, as if the thing done by daylight will differ than by dusk.
for a moment he simply stands in close, unmoving. then he releases him with one final stroke of his thumb against the delicate bones of the man's wrist. ）
Only if something catches your eye. Or if you come across Cubits in need of rehabilitation.
[It is one thing to be kissed. Anyone can kiss, some better than others, some with more enthusiasm than others, but a kiss can be just a kiss.
It is another thing to be beloved, and when Itachi pulls him in to brush his lips against the corner of his mouth, he isn't just kissed, he feels beloved.
It's foolish the way he feels tears spring to his eyes that he carefully blinks back when Itachi steps away. He needs a moment—just a brief one to revel in the feeling, and even though Itachi has let go, he rests his forehead against the man's shoulder, simultaneously hiding his face and maintaining their closeness.]
I like you so much. [The sentiment is hardly new, and for the most part isn't even reflective of the changes in their relationship, but being able to say it like this, that part's new.]
[He lets out some sort of incomprehensible whining sound and then pulls back, leaning in to press a quick kiss to Itachi's cheek before he moves away to properly begin eating. Once he's seated and eating, he asks—]
（ he makes a considering sound, as he slides into the chair opposite wei ying, setting his tray with its small assorted dishes down. a grilled piece of fish makes up the protein, and a smaller salad of pickled greens sits near his right hand as he picks up chopsticks with his left. ）
I have yet to decide. I don't feel especially drawn to the concept. My contract with my summons back home was intended to be for life.
It does feel strange to take charge of a living creature knowing we'll be leaving them behind in a short while. If I do take them on, I don't know how to make sure it's not on me when we find the orb. [What would that even mean for the Cubit? Would it just be stuck in that cubitile until someone found it? He frowns at the thought.]
What was your summons back home? [He pauses and then] Crows?
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You sleep? [he teases, eyes bright with mirth. He slips his own feet beneath the covers and remains sitting up for now, his back resting against the headboard in parallel to Itachi. In the wake of Gwen's departure they had slept side by side, but it is a very different thing to sleep that way out of a sorrowful desire for comfort than because they simply want to be near each other.
And Wei Wuxian wants to be near him. Knowing that as he sleeps Itachi is within arm's reach makes him feel settled in a way he's never known before. He hugs his knees over the blanket and beams softly at Itachi. Sorry were you trying to read or something?]
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（ his tone is desert dry, but not unfond as he gives the man a pointed look over his nicely bound novel.
the beaming is — cute, he would admit. but it needs to be able to compete with the subject matter in which he's embroiled for his interest, and as yet has not quite managed it.
he does reach out with the hand that isn't occupied splaying the book open and turning the pages, and lets his fingers encircle the man's wrist. such a small thing, that touch, but nevertheless it is present and steady. a stroke of his thumb along the radial artery becomes a gentle repetitive motion, as long as wei ying permits the touch. ）
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You know, [he starts conversationally] my eyes are working especially well tonight. [He taps at his temple with one finger, lips twitching upwards.]
I thought you should know.
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（ it's light and playful more than anything intended as a rebuff or reprimand and he does, after a moment in which he gives wei ying a very stern look, set the book aside on the wobbly nightstand beside the bed. those fingers around the man's wrist curl tighter, and he pulls wei ying towards him by that grip — a distance made nearly inconsequential by the narrowness of the mattress.
then he releases him, reaching up to tuck an errant strand of hair behind his ear. damp, it clings to his skin.
his tone maintains its soft demeanour as he arches one eyebrow to ask — ）
What is it you have against literature, Wei Ying?
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Who said I have anything against literature? Reading literature is a perfectly good pastime to have. [He slides a finger beneath Itachi's chin.] It's educational. [He grins.] And it can be fascinating...
[His hand retreats, resting on the scant inch of blanket between them.] I just think that some things are more...interesting. More exciting even.
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this is not exactly a new side of wei ying, but it is the first time he's decided to... flirt with such clear intent, and itachi is not quite certain of how to navigate the experience, nor his own reaction to it. his usual form of riposte may be taken as cruel or a measure of disinterest and that is certainly not what he wishes to convey — but full pliancy is not exactly a direction that speaks to him, either.
he regrets nothing of that night — a kiss shared in the dimly flickering emergency lights of the abandoned station, the clasp of their hands. he regrets nothing and has second guessed no action he took then — but the more difficult way is forward, and not back towards settled, hard-won ground. that is not to say this is unfamiliar, exactly. in many ways, they have been far more open and vulnerable with one-another than what is wrought by a kiss or even sex. but it is... new.
itachi makes a thoughtful 'hm' of sound, and then: ）
I'm not averse to testing that theory, though I strongly disagree.
（ he is a nerd and he loves books and also loves teasing this man beyond reason. ）
However — （ as he says it, he reaches for wei ying, already aware that without a component of physical reassurance, his statement might be... harsh. he rests his hand against the man's wrist in a way that's almost casually natural if not for the fact that itachi is many things, but always deliberate. ） I think it would be wise to discuss first what we both might expect, anticipate or desire from this.
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In another time or context he would have shied away from giving name or voice to the change between them, afraid that doing do would frighten him away, but this is Itachi. Any lingering doubt is put to rest by the presence of the hand on his wrist. And more than that, he's right. This isn't like anything he's done before, he doesn't know where the lines are or what either of them expects from this. Wouldn't it be better to be clear instead of stumbling his way through and causing offense or harm?[
Mmm, you're right. [He turns his wrist in Itachi's easy grip so that he can slide a thumb along his knuckles.] I've never done this before.
[It's admitted quietly, a little self-consciously, but without judgment.]
I've messed around a handful of times, but I've never...ah. I've never been with anyone I cared about. Like this.
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Our collective experience or lack thereof is... less my concern. You do not need to give me any details.
（ he studies their hands, but makes no move to pull back away. ）
I am comfortable following your lead, if you wish. But if at any point we go beyond what you are comfortable with, tell me. I will do the same.
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I mean I don't know how relationships work or if that's what this is. [Pause.]
I like kissing you. [He admits after a long pause, trying to force himself out of his head. It seems like a good place to start. It's clear.] I would like to kiss you more. And I'll tell you if I'm uncomfortable. [It isn't something he imagines will ever happen, but reciprocity is important, he knows that at least.]
And if you ever need me to give you space, I'll listen to that too. [Itachi is a private person, and while he knows that he allows Wei Wuxian into his space more than most others, he also knows there are times when he wants to be on his own. He already knows it isn't a condemnation or rejection, and he's going to make himself remember that if his thoughts ever start getting away from him.]
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There are arguments to be made that neither of us know how relationships work or if that is what this is.
（ itachi knows, perhaps too well what being given space can cost his friend, how often it's been used as punishment, and the fact that it is offered so freely makes something in him ache. that, more than anything else, is the impetus that sees him lean forward and press a soft kiss to the corner of the man's mouth. ）
I care for you. You have long been my dearest friend. That comes first for me, and always will. But I have been thinking about what it would be like to kiss you since that day in the snow on Nuhiri, and am not sorry to now know.
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Since then? [No actually, don't answer that. He doesn't want to have to think about how long he's been wanting this and pretending not to.] You're mine too, Itachi. [His dearest friend. You see me he'd said not so long ago and the word zhiji remains unspoken. His smile reappears.]
And I'm not sorry either. I would like to be even less sorry. [Is that a clever turn of words? Does it even make sense? He doesn't care, Itachi will know what he means.]
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（ but it's not a no. this time, the kiss is more deliberate. exploratory. he disentangles their hands now, only to put his to a worthier use — finding a soft grip in the fall of the man's damp hair. ）
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Eventually the soft exchange of kisses fades along with Wei Wuxian's slipping wakefulness and he falls into a peaceful sleep, lulled by the tangle of a gentle hand in his hair and the warmth of Itachi's body by his side.
When he wakes again, the sun is high but not so high as his usual waking time (when they are on missions that have a rising sun at least.) It's probably a little after eight if he has to guess. He exhales as he sits up, stretching his arms languidly above his head. He lowers his arms just in time to stifle a yawn, and then begins to take stock of the morning, instinctively searching for his friend.]
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but he wakes with the first blush of sun along the horizon, and slips out of bed slowly. a note is left on his pillow in perfect mandarin explaining his absence, training and breakfast and by the time wei ying wakes there is a smell of breakfast below. fish from the local market is fresh and plentiful — not to mention inexpensive — and rice commonly found. more surprising was something resembling dashi broth, repurposed into some manner of miso. pickled vegetables and a light salad round the meal out, and whenever it happens that wei ying ventures downstairs he is sitting at the counter scrolling through a local datapad with a cup of tea not far from his hand. ）
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So Wei Wuxian isn't quite sure why all of it put together gets his heart skipping beats so early in the day as the scent of hot oil and familiar seasonings drifts up into the room where he's eyeing Itachi's note. With a foolish smile he has no intention of showing to Itachi, he steps into the bathroom to wash and change, emerging into the downstairs kitchen with a slightly less dumb looking smile on his face.
His eyes land on Itachi siting at the counter and his heart does that twisty aching thing it's been doing so much lately. The sunlight through the window has lent Itachi a golden glow and for a moment Wei Wuxian wonders if he isn't somehow still sleeping.]
Good morning. [He forces himself to speak, expression warm as he wanders to the counter to serve himself.]
You cooked! [Obviously.] It smells good.
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(what does it say about him, that the moment he had a world to flesh out and realize, he made it peaceful?)
his mouth sets into a line, and once the man takes the plate, itachi drops his hand against wei ying's elbow and exerts a faint pressure that falls away almost immediately. ）
Yes. What are your plans for the day?
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He also resists catching Itachi's hand to plant a soft kiss against his knuckles after that elbow squeeze, if only barely. The smile he fixes his friend with likely conveys his warm affection all the same.]
I'm going to look for work in research. Something with field work so that I can travel. I figure the more places I can get to, the more people I can talk to and pick up on any local rumors that sound like the orb's work.
What about you?
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（ hm. he stops, and then takes a moment to collect his thoughts as he plates up his own breakfast. he hadn't wished to eat until wei ying was downstairs — there is something of old cadences long laid to rest, the pulse of a family unit being enlivened by the sharing of food that he had not wished to set aside. ）
I am going to remain here, I think.
（ in and of itself, a departure. itachi has always been quick to enter the fray, dirty his hands. so the thought of him remaining elsewhere, loosening his grip on active engagement...
it tells a story. of someone who has, perhaps, learned to let things go. ）
Warn me ahead of time when you intend to return. I will ensure there is a meal set aside for you.
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Alright, I'll text you. You should let me help cook dinner sometime though. I haven't found any chili peppers here so you don't even have to worry! [Wei Wuxian grins and then returns to his food. It is different for Itachi to play a less active role, and it feels odd, but not in a bad way.]
Do you want me to pick anything up for you while I'm out?
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for a moment he simply stands in close, unmoving. then he releases him with one final stroke of his thumb against the delicate bones of the man's wrist. ）
Only if something catches your eye. Or if you come across Cubits in need of rehabilitation.
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It is another thing to be beloved, and when Itachi pulls him in to brush his lips against the corner of his mouth, he isn't just kissed, he feels beloved.
It's foolish the way he feels tears spring to his eyes that he carefully blinks back when Itachi steps away. He needs a moment—just a brief one to revel in the feeling, and even though Itachi has let go, he rests his forehead against the man's shoulder, simultaneously hiding his face and maintaining their closeness.]
I like you so much. [The sentiment is hardly new, and for the most part isn't even reflective of the changes in their relationship, but being able to say it like this, that part's new.]
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（ it's said good-naturedly, amused rather than self-deprecatory. but he does lift a hand, and cup his palm against the nape of his companion's neck. ）
Come. Eat breakfast before it cools.
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Do you plan to take on any Cubits of your own?
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I have yet to decide. I don't feel especially drawn to the concept. My contract with my summons back home was intended to be for life.
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It does feel strange to take charge of a living creature knowing we'll be leaving them behind in a short while. If I do take them on, I don't know how to make sure it's not on me when we find the orb. [What would that even mean for the Cubit? Would it just be stuck in that cubitile until someone found it? He frowns at the thought.]
What was your summons back home? [He pauses and then] Crows?
cw: suicidality
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