I will try. But there is...a very real chance that whatever I can do now...will mean very little. And it will become a matter of...keeping from holding you and everyone back.
[he's not the only one who wonders if Sabriel should've left him dead.]
Given that it was her choice and not yours, I find it unlikely she would have escaped the consequences. It is possible her price is even steeper than your own.
（ the orbs are cruel and capricious. they want to take, and take, and take — and he suspects that they would not spare anyone who slighted them. ）
（ his tendency, when ill and at his most vulnerable, is to withdraw from all connection. he has not deliberately spoken to anyone who is not essential to his surgery. in this, he has been selfish. ）
If long-lasting harm has come to her, it is her own doing. You did not ask for resurrection. What she did was foolish and rash and wholly of her own volition. Do not take responsibility for her actions.
[Blue doesn't answer aloud, but perhaps pensive silence is answer enough. he folds his hands in his lap, quietly acknowledging the cocktail of emotions he needs to settle with somehow.]
I won't linger much longer... Just. Let me sit for a moment...
There is no time limit on your being here, Blue. If my company eases your condition, you may stay.
（ it is not an offer made lightly — itachi dislikes being in other people's company when he is vulnerable, which blue doubtless has deduced. but blue is — as close to a friend as he has had in many years, and it draws him to concession. ）
[Blue looks over, trying to gauge that response with what little he can glean. funny...even with psionics, he's still mostly a wall - a wall he can perceive more is behind, but all the same...
somehow, Itachi is a consistent kind of presence amidst the tumultuous changes.
that said, there's a soft exhale and a slight shifting sound to make it clear the Mu isn't going anywhere in a hurry.]
（ he rises gracefully from the makeshift futon, moving about his room with the easy precision of the sighted. there is a spare blanket in one cabinet, worn but soft, and he brings it to the bed, holding it out. ）
You have done your best to mitigate my discomfort in our time together. I can only offer the same.
[without knowing what's up, Blue watches him curiously, holding off on asking aloud; the answer comes soon enough, and he's mildly surprised at what's offered, both in gesture and in response.
after a hesitation, he takes the blanket out of Itachi's hands.
with a faintly amused waver in his voice:] Did I sound cold?
[pshaw, no way; Blue will bundle up, and happily so. kindness can be an illusion for only so long, so Blue doesn't find it foolish at all to believe there is merit beyond practiced propriety in such gestures and time spent.
and even if there isn't in the end...the time spent was still time spent. it's just a little while, in the great span of things.]
（ he returns to his spot on the futon, fighting down a wave of nausea. vertigo is an odd, dizzying thing, and he is abruptly aware of how dry his mouth feels. he reaches for his water bottle with the same precision he'd moved about the room — uncaps it and takes a small sip. ）
The boy I forewarned you about. Shikamaru Nara. He is no longer here.
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I will try. But there is...a very real chance that whatever I can do now...will mean very little. And it will become a matter of...keeping from holding you and everyone back.
[he's not the only one who wonders if Sabriel should've left him dead.]
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Your value does not only lie in that. You have as much right to be here as any of us do — you will find another way to contribute.
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Others...would say so, too. [so he hopes it's true.] For now...trying to harbor power, to stabilize...that's been my effort.
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（ for the difficulty. for the cost. ）
Have you conferred with Sabriel-san since our return?
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（ the orbs are cruel and capricious. they want to take, and take, and take — and he suspects that they would not spare anyone who slighted them. ）
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Have you...spoken to her? Since returning.
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（ his tendency, when ill and at his most vulnerable, is to withdraw from all connection. he has not deliberately spoken to anyone who is not essential to his surgery. in this, he has been selfish. ）
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hm...]
I'll reach out to her. And find out.
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Do you regret it?
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（ his tone is perhaps a little sharp. ）
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[even so, he can't force himself to feel differently, right or wrong.]
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（ guess who has a lot of feelings about being at fault or not for things? this boy, yeah. ）
But it is still not your fault.
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I won't linger much longer... Just. Let me sit for a moment...
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There is no time limit on your being here, Blue. If my company eases your condition, you may stay.
（ it is not an offer made lightly — itachi dislikes being in other people's company when he is vulnerable, which blue doubtless has deduced. but blue is — as close to a friend as he has had in many years, and it draws him to concession. ）
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somehow, Itachi is a consistent kind of presence amidst the tumultuous changes.
that said, there's a soft exhale and a slight shifting sound to make it clear the Mu isn't going anywhere in a hurry.]
...Thank you. Itachi.
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You have done your best to mitigate my discomfort in our time together. I can only offer the same.
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after a hesitation, he takes the blanket out of Itachi's hands.
with a faintly amused waver in his voice:] Did I sound cold?
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（ blue you're a frail sickly geriatric. he's trying to make you more comfortable while you chill out in his space!! ）
If you have no need of it, leave it folded on the bed. I will deal with it later.
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and even if there isn't in the end...the time spent was still time spent. it's just a little while, in the great span of things.]
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The boy I forewarned you about. Shikamaru Nara. He is no longer here.
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eventually:] When resolve is low enough...people are sent back. That's my understanding.
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（ he feels he had a good grasp of the boy's measure. he do not think it was that alone. ）
He is someone who will shape the future of my world. It is better that he does not risk himself changing the past, and failing.
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Your efforts...Will not also do so?
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