（ the sentiment should strike him as odd. untruthful, perhaps. instead, it aligns perfectly with everything blue has shown him up until now. the gentleness is not feigned — nor the love. ）
（ he thinks of the stone in the nakano shrine, and how the mangekyō can only be born from pain. how this has stained the uchiha name in blood and strife for nearly two hundred years. his fingers curl in against his palm and then release their tension. ）
Perhaps once. Now — if I believed in the trappings of fate, I do not imagine I would be here.
（ 'grateful' is the wrong word for it, where his own position is to be considered. he did not anticipate having a second chance. had surrendered to the inevitability of his family's ruin and his brother's fractured state — the one that itachi himself pushed upon him. he will not speak to gratitude unless the orbs do what has been promised of them. until then he will be wary, circumspect, and as guarded as he has ever been in war.
but blue is...
hm.
now that he knows the man's true age, it has added a new facet of understanding to his perception. madara would have been over a hundred years old, but three... that is the sort of thing orochimaru has dreamed of and strove for.
itachi himself has no desire to have outlived sasuke's revenge, but he is curious — from the perspective of one who has studied history — what one would see in such a span of time. ninja lives are brutal, often short, and few have the luxury of achieving their aspirations as he did. twenty-one was sufficient for him, and he would have had nothing else to live for beyond that time anyway. but to measure the scope of your existence in decades, in centuries...
it is... admirable, perhaps, that blue has found a way to nurture gentleness despite all he's been through. and equally remarkable is the fact that he's had sufficient time to choose who he wishes to be. ）
If you find your resolve has begun to waver — （ a faint cant of his head to one side. ） — will you tell me?
（ he has been a tool for so many years, he scarce recalls if he was ever a person at all. he supposes the transition must have happened when he put all his hopes and dreams for the future away, and ceded the whole of his being to danzō's will — and his father's. clara told him she was going to figure out how to make him have fun, and that is something that has settled in his mind like a splinter. ）
You may be the only person here who understands exactly what that means. It is not accurate to say I would miss you, but I would hold an awareness of your absence.
（ he exhales a faint, amused gust of breath, propping his elbow up on his knee, resting his fingers in the crown of his dark hair. it's a casual posture, though that is hardly uncharacteristic — he does have a tendency to make poise look effortless. ）
My saying that was not intended to elicit an offer of help.
No, but... Things like that...the mean more when they're said aloud, right? [as opposed to just being felt. that's how humans seem to operate, he's finding.]
Either way...if my resolve changes... I'll tell you.
[he nods, shifting to get his feet under him before holding out a hand for the help up. this is becoming a more practiced exchange between them, isn't it? even in such a short span of time.
time is weird, though: fifteen years vanished in the blink of an eye, but hours here linger...until the next breath, when Blue finds it's been solar months on board, away from the Shangri-La. it's both new and old at the same time.]
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Perhaps you are here when you are most needed.
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[he looks back over.]
Does such a thing seem real to you?
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Perhaps once. Now — if I believed in the trappings of fate, I do not imagine I would be here.
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Fated or not...I'll be grateful to be here, all the same, I think.
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but blue is...
hm.
now that he knows the man's true age, it has added a new facet of understanding to his perception. madara would have been over a hundred years old, but three... that is the sort of thing orochimaru has dreamed of and strove for.
itachi himself has no desire to have outlived sasuke's revenge, but he is curious — from the perspective of one who has studied history — what one would see in such a span of time. ninja lives are brutal, often short, and few have the luxury of achieving their aspirations as he did. twenty-one was sufficient for him, and he would have had nothing else to live for beyond that time anyway. but to measure the scope of your existence in decades, in centuries...
it is... admirable, perhaps, that blue has found a way to nurture gentleness despite all he's been through. and equally remarkable is the fact that he's had sufficient time to choose who he wishes to be. ）
If you find your resolve has begun to waver — （ a faint cant of his head to one side. ） — will you tell me?
（ it is both request and question. ）
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I...I can, but...why?
[why would Itachi care to know?]
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（ he has been a tool for so many years, he scarce recalls if he was ever a person at all. he supposes the transition must have happened when he put all his hopes and dreams for the future away, and ceded the whole of his being to danzō's will — and his father's. clara told him she was going to figure out how to make him have fun, and that is something that has settled in his mind like a splinter. ）
You may be the only person here who understands exactly what that means. It is not accurate to say I would miss you, but I would hold an awareness of your absence.
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Blue looks at him for a length of time, impressing this moment into his memory with greater care.]
If there's a way...I can help you. I will. If you reach for it.
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My saying that was not intended to elicit an offer of help.
（ you predictable fool. ）
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Either way...if my resolve changes... I'll tell you.
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（ and on that note it's high time for him to get the fuck hence. he stands, gives blue a polite nod — ）
Do you require assistance back to your room?
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time is weird, though: fifteen years vanished in the blink of an eye, but hours here linger...until the next breath, when Blue finds it's been solar months on board, away from the Shangri-La. it's both new and old at the same time.]
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he does not speak again — simply leads blue back to his quarters, and then escapes to his own. ）