（ he always takes care to ensure his mental protections are firmly in place around blue, but amusement briefly suffuses them before that too is buried. ）
I suppose I shall see. Healing does not come naturally to me.
（ he will work until he's good at it. it feels — strange, to have a new goal, something to reach for. everything he was was put towards surviving until sasuke could kill him, and having possibility of anything beyond that on the horizon is tantalizing in a way he did not anticipate. ）
[so it was study of that healing practice that brought him to his door the other day... Blue hums thoughtfully before taking a spoonful of food, letting silence sit in with them for a moment.]
Given how well you treated me the other day...I think you'll take to it soon.
（ he says it with a bit of a shrug, the intent behind his words clear determination rather than any position of self-recrimination or pity. it is simply something that needs to be done. if people say anything of him after his death, let it be that he never shirked his duties. ）
But I thank you for the assurance.
（ he takes a first bite of the meal, and then: ）
Was it simply your concern I may have foregone a meal that brought you to my door tonight?
[well, if he doesn't want any further explanation, he's not gonna get it! and that's just as well; Blue can't say he understands his own whims any better or worse than anyone else, you know?]
Have you encountered any flavors or additions...that you like, in particular? From what others have shared with me...humans seem to enjoy sugary things an awful lot. It's...a bit intense, for me.
（ he doesn't want an explanation!! absolutely nothing that forces him to examine the fathomless depths of his self-hatred, thank u!! do not speak to him, do not perceive him!!
it's easier to assume blue is just trying to be kindly, or is in fact delusional. the moment he elaborates, that old necessary-to-life instinct to tear it down and make him recant may rear its ugly head, and itachi... is not confident in his armour at the moment. ）
I confess, I have a weakness for sweets as well. （ dango... ） However, I have found most here to be somewhat overwhelming.
Moderation...seems very scarce in a lot of ways on this station. [boy howdy. when he's not here perceiving Itachi, there's a whole lot of other things floating around to be perceived!]
（ is that sarcasm or blunt truth? hard to say with him. he tends not to spend much superfluous time with others — sabriel and blue have made up the bulk of his acquaintance here. ）
But it would stand to reason. Most seem to be from difficult worlds. Having sudden access to excess is generally tempting.
（ ... yes, he considers the station's resources to be excess. ）
It's true. [excess of food, of companionship, of spirit...
Blue makes a proper bit of a dent in his small serving - something he doesn't really accomplish much on his own; company is kind of like accountability without realizing it.]
And the delight from those from places of plenty, sharing with those who are new to it... That's not a terrible thing to have in surplus.
（ gross, will you PLEASE stop trying to grow on him like a fungus. ）
No.
（ although — ）
However, what the future holds cannot be known. If at any point we are set to endure significant resource scarcity, attitudes may change.
（ he has seen the worst of war. people can turn on each other in an instant, and food — these tenuous bonds may not survive its lack.
he has a drawer neatly stacked with nonperishables. less for himself — he is accustomed to eating very little over long periods — but in the event of such a thing. planning ahead is the very least of what he can do here. ）
（ the rein on his emotions gets suddenly all the tighter, choking it out. the cold placidity that is his usual mien darkens and shifts, the way an old house may take on a new aura in a storm, and he —
does not respond immediately. simply continues eating, the scrape of his spoon against the side of the bowl oddly loud in the close confines of the room. ）
Assuming that would be a mistake.
（ it's not said unkindly. it's just — the truth of anything. itachi does not put much faith or stock in bonds, they are ephemera, necessarily sundered on the altar of duty. they are all here for a reason, and that reason is not like to be outweighed by a few months' casual camaraderie. ）
（ it is a neutral statement, but it is not — as he has reacted in the past to such probing — a veiled threat. it may not invite further questions, but neither it is a direct deflection, either. he has not decided to trust blue outright, not exactly, but he has grown... tolerant of his presence. ）
（ that is complicated, isn't it? he is silent a time, neatly finishing the contents of the bowl instead. he leans forward to deposit it on the tray blue had brought in, and then settles back into his former position like a statue. ）
I am from Konohagakure — the Village Hidden in Leaves. It was the first of the shinobi villages and as such, it was located in a lush, resource-rich area. Our leaders in those early days were strong enough to deter enemy incursion, but as other villages were established in less favourable places and gained power in other ways, ours was often a target. （ quietly, ） Konoha is not faultless in this. If we had been more generous and compassionate to our neighbors, we would not have given rise to such vitriol and hatred in other villages. As wars happened and blood was spilt, we perpetuated a desire for vengeance against Konoha that remains in play nearly a century later.
（ he reaches for a water bottle he keeps on his nightstand, unscrewing the top as he continues, ）
A shinobi's duty is to protect the civilians of their country, so one way to ensure war is to strike at the helpless townships within a country's borders. This also leads to resource scarcity, as this population is the bulk of our farmers and textile workers — work that is necessary to economic function.
[Blue listens quietly, his own dish set aside in favor of full focus on Itachi's words. the story doesn't seem outlandish at all - not unlike the way old historical records are written where he's from. gathering up resources for one's own, the friction of outsiders...]
It seems a terrible tightrope to walk, but...one that one must, lest they become detached from all the others walking it, or risk taking them down with them.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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I suppose I shall see. Healing does not come naturally to me.
（ he will work until he's good at it. it feels — strange, to have a new goal, something to reach for. everything he was was put towards surviving until sasuke could kill him, and having possibility of anything beyond that on the horizon is tantalizing in a way he did not anticipate. ）
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Given how well you treated me the other day...I think you'll take to it soon.
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（ he says it with a bit of a shrug, the intent behind his words clear determination rather than any position of self-recrimination or pity. it is simply something that needs to be done. if people say anything of him after his death, let it be that he never shirked his duties. ）
But I thank you for the assurance.
（ he takes a first bite of the meal, and then: ）
Was it simply your concern I may have foregone a meal that brought you to my door tonight?
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I like your company.
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I see.
（ what does he even say to that?
... nothing, as it turns out. he just dutifully eats?? more food?? #winning. ）
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Have you encountered any flavors or additions...that you like, in particular? From what others have shared with me...humans seem to enjoy sugary things an awful lot. It's...a bit intense, for me.
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it's easier to assume blue is just trying to be kindly, or is in fact delusional. the moment he elaborates, that old necessary-to-life instinct to tear it down and make him recant may rear its ugly head, and itachi... is not confident in his armour at the moment. ）
I confess, I have a weakness for sweets as well. （ dango... ） However, I have found most here to be somewhat overwhelming.
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（ is that sarcasm or blunt truth? hard to say with him. he tends not to spend much superfluous time with others — sabriel and blue have made up the bulk of his acquaintance here. ）
But it would stand to reason. Most seem to be from difficult worlds. Having sudden access to excess is generally tempting.
（ ... yes, he considers the station's resources to be excess. ）
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Blue makes a proper bit of a dent in his small serving - something he doesn't really accomplish much on his own; company is kind of like accountability without realizing it.]
And the delight from those from places of plenty, sharing with those who are new to it... That's not a terrible thing to have in surplus.
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No.
（ although — ）
However, what the future holds cannot be known. If at any point we are set to endure significant resource scarcity, attitudes may change.
（ he has seen the worst of war. people can turn on each other in an instant, and food — these tenuous bonds may not survive its lack.
he has a drawer neatly stacked with nonperishables. less for himself — he is accustomed to eating very little over long periods — but in the event of such a thing. planning ahead is the very least of what he can do here. ）
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The places we've been sent to so far...have not been limited in resources, however dangerous. But that can be different next time.
[he pauses to have another bite.]
I believe...many bonds already forged...are strong enough to endure.
[but nothing is unbreakable, is it?]
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does not respond immediately. simply continues eating, the scrape of his spoon against the side of the bowl oddly loud in the close confines of the room. ）
Assuming that would be a mistake.
（ it's not said unkindly. it's just — the truth of anything. itachi does not put much faith or stock in bonds, they are ephemera, necessarily sundered on the altar of duty. they are all here for a reason, and that reason is not like to be outweighed by a few months' casual camaraderie. ）
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after another beat:] Past experience...informs that warning, doesn't it.
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（ it is a neutral statement, but it is not — as he has reacted in the past to such probing — a veiled threat. it may not invite further questions, but neither it is a direct deflection, either. he has not decided to trust blue outright, not exactly, but he has grown... tolerant of his presence. ）
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I am from Konohagakure — the Village Hidden in Leaves. It was the first of the shinobi villages and as such, it was located in a lush, resource-rich area. Our leaders in those early days were strong enough to deter enemy incursion, but as other villages were established in less favourable places and gained power in other ways, ours was often a target. （ quietly, ） Konoha is not faultless in this. If we had been more generous and compassionate to our neighbors, we would not have given rise to such vitriol and hatred in other villages. As wars happened and blood was spilt, we perpetuated a desire for vengeance against Konoha that remains in play nearly a century later.
（ he reaches for a water bottle he keeps on his nightstand, unscrewing the top as he continues, ）
A shinobi's duty is to protect the civilians of their country, so one way to ensure war is to strike at the helpless townships within a country's borders. This also leads to resource scarcity, as this population is the bulk of our farmers and textile workers — work that is necessary to economic function.
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It seems a terrible tightrope to walk, but...one that one must, lest they become detached from all the others walking it, or risk taking them down with them.
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It is tenuous. But it is our way of life, and we are accustomed to it.
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I think... if they do, it will not be in my lifetime. However, I have hope it is not an indefinite pattern.
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Blue murmurs a soft, affirmative sound.] It's worth working for, in the interim.
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（ he does not believe in it any less strongly now than when he was a child — but experience has tempered him. ）
But not everyone has the same perception of what it ought to be.
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Not even among the Mu, no.
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How many Mu are there?
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smh i didn't get this notif yesterday big mad!!!
ur notifs said "enough, no more of THIS"
sad ninja nonsense has a limit
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