（ please don't ask how he knows where you're staying, clara, it's one of those ninja things. actually, it's probably just an itachi thing because he's a nosy infomodding ho.
but he does show up at her wwwwwwindow??? about ten minutes later. he's dressed all in dark colours, and raps politely on the glass.
[If she's bothered or creeped out by his presence at her window on the second floor of the Saloon, she doesn't show it. Instead she just opens the window and lets him make his way inside.
The small space is shared with the Doctor, and Clara's taken great care to try and keep the space as tidy as possible. Which is a feat given how many little things the Doctor's already picked up. One of those things is a hat. A nice cowboy hat that she is attempting to balance on her head when he enters. She's been dying for the chance to wear the right outfit for a hat.
And here he is, with trousers. Perfect western wear.]
Did I tell you I was staying here?
[She acts as she admires her reflection in the glass of the window before looking over to him.]
（ is he going to elaborate? also no. instead, he just unslings a bag from his shoulder and holds out a pair of pants. it's not a pair that matches the custom here, he has found the odd, starched and pressed clothing to lack the comfort and range of motion of his own clothing.
(also, he hates cowboy boots. and loafers. and anything that isn't his own silicon-soled sandals that enable him to be whisper-quiet when he walks.)
luckily, as shinobi are want to do, he came prepared.
he does, at least, turn his back to afford her privacy as she changes. he doesn't entirely lack social grace, thank you, even if nakedness or near-nakedness are not things that remotely trouble him regardless of one's sex. ）
[She just shrugs, accepting his brief answer for what it is. There's still a surreal lack of concern about the fact he's just shown up at her window to bring her clothes. It's almost as if this is a totally normal sort of thing for her, right down to his politely turning his back while she gets changed.
Once she's dressed in his trousers and one of her shirts, she goes to look around through the Doctor's things until she can find a pair of suspenders. Of course he'll have some here. They're put on to help hold up the pants, and as she passes by the mirror on her way to grab her normal boots that she's used to running around in, she has to admit that she looks good.
She takes a moment to braid her hair and pull it back out of the way, clearing her throat so he can turn around.]
Before we go, there's something I want to show you.
[In the back wall of the small room there's a bedsheet hanging up. She goes to pull it down, revealing tons of handwritten notes and sketches she's done up since arriving. It's all nicely arranged with pins and string connecting people in town together, Clara's first mission conspiracy web of information. The name Branson is written in large letters on a piece of paper in the center of her web, circled about five or six times.]
As soon as we figure out the family's exact connection to the mines and what happened a year ago, I think it'll all piece together nicely.
（ he turns around not at the clearing of her throat — as a signal it means nothing to him, culturally speaking — but at her comment about showing him something. he does not move from his spot, but his attention follows her with keen interest as she pulls down a bedsheet at the hazy edges of his deteriorating vision, prompting him to finally draw nearer to see what it is she seems so proud of. he reaches out to touch a line of that string, tracing it from pin to pin. ）
Hm.
（ it's a low, speculative sound. not particularly impressed or unimpressed, nor even faintly surprised. ）
Your investigative work is thorough, and I appreciate that an immense amount of effort has gone into producing this.
（ there is a 'BUT' looming here, and itachi has all the social graces of a battering ram, so he doesn't bother to cushion it in any respect, just continues onwards like a man reading a phonebook. ）
That said, please do not keep notes or records in this way on any future missions. We are in much less danger here — as I doubt any of the simulacrums in the town would have the presence of mind to visit us, much less search our things — but this manner of record keeping could be a death sentence to you on a world where we are under any amount of surveillance. If visualization is a necessary part of your investigative process and cannot be left undone, I will teach you code and ciphers when we return to the Ximilia.
[Oh, she can hear his but hanging in the air there. And surprisingly, it makes her laugh.]
Seriously? You really must think I'm stupid.
[Because that is a valid concern, she doesn't give him time to respond. she just pushes forward and keeps talking, trying to keep her offense to a minimum. Which is hard to do when she really feels like she's being called stupid and she knows she's typically very clever.]
I have a notebook I use. Or visualize what isn't safe to write down. I wouldn't do something like this on a mission where the stakes were higher.
[you know what?
he's not allowed to look at this anymore. she points over toward the window.]
（ sorry, his days of taking orders from anyone are basically at an end. he doesn't move from his spot, nor follow the dramatic outstretch of her arm with a turn of his head. he just looks at her, unperturbed. ）
Notebooks can be stolen.
（ clara, pls to be having a basic awareness of your tiny, fragile... human-ness. ）
I do not think you stupid. （ he gestures to the wall. ） You've uncovered several things I was unaware of. In that respect, I am impressed. However — I do think you are naïve and inexperienced. Neither of those traits are bad things in and of themselves, you simply need an opportunity to learn.
[He doesn't move and she just is in offended awe. This is the first time in a long while someone has challenged her tiny authority. ]
Yeah, well, this is only my fourth mission. It takes time to become as skilled and useful as you are.
[She's still so stunned by his lack of meeting her downstairs that she can only stare over at him for a few moments before turning away. It's unusual for her to encounter people who challenge her as much as he does on a regular basis. In some aspects, it's a relief. A breath of fresh air. And in others, it's completely frustrating.]
（ he has... complicated Feelings about people doing that. so much of his life was lived with the understanding and knowledge that he was deliberately dragging sasuke into his shadow and keeping him in the darkness there. he existed as an obstacle that his little brother needed to overcome, and died to that end.
but no one, least of all someone like clara, should ever see him as remotely aspirational, even if only for his skills and knowledge. both have come at terrible cost. ）
I know you will continue to improve. What I say is not meant as an attack.
[He's trying to be encouraging, she realizes. This sort of thing doesn't seem to come easy to him, and the fact he's trying at all does mean a lot. It would be easy for him to blow her off and simply be condescending. But he isn't, and that's the only thing that gets her to relax.]
It's been hard to try and be as useful as the rest of you.
[She can admit that much, in a voice that's soft and vulnerable and not at all the usual bravado she faces the world with. The mask slips away, showing her uncertainty and her fears more clearly.]
So I dove into trying to be better this time around. It's a work in progress.
[And with that, she starts to take down the things that are on the wall. Thankfully there's not too much. It only takes her a minute or so before the space is empty again and she looks up at it with lingering self-doubt before finally turning away.]
（ he is silent for a time, watching impassively as she pulls down her little map of timelines and theories and names. it seems almost as if he is not going to respond verbally, that he might simply turn and leave the room at any moment — poised for flight more by nature than body language or expression. he is... wildly uncomfortable, but he remains where he is. rooted fast to the boards of a floor that may exist only in their minds.
then: ）
It is... human nature to look for what we admire in others within ourselves, and for our ego to suffer if we find our interiority to be lacking.
（ as she studies the wall, now stripped bare, he steps up and puts a hand very briefly against her shoulder. when was the last time he provided anyone comfort like this? he cannot recall. to touch another human in the shinobi world is to offer only violence. his palm is there only briefly, a whisper of contact before it is dropped away. recompense for the hug of weeks ago. ）
But, it is important to remember that you only see of others what you are shown. That other people struggle internally just as much as you. And — to realize that you also have qualities that others envy, that they themselves do not and cannot possess. Both a knife and a chair have a use, but are poorly designed for each other's purpose. Yours is not to be useful the way I am useful. You provide emotional support, levity, kindness and humour. These things have value. They are necessary to the function of a social group. You do not need to justify your existence by dint of what you can offer and how it aligns with what others are capable of. You are allowed to be here.
（ his voice is solemn, possessed of a depth that rings like a sonorous bell. there is no emotion in it — then, there so rarely is with him. he is too well-accustomed to burying it. but he is... trying. to choose kindness. ）
Edited (i understand homophones ) 2022-01-17 22:40 (UTC)
Has she been waiting to hear something along the lines of that? Did she feel like she needed permission to be allowed to feel the same as everyone else that has a special niche talent that they contribute? Clara doesn't have a confidence problem, she knows that much. What she's had in recent months is trouble finding her footing when attempting to help obtain the orbs.
Kindness and support are wonderful, but they don't bring orbs back to the station. And maybe accepting the fact that she's best suited for emotional support and levity means she has to come to terms with the fact that she's regulated to being part of the background here.
A sidekick. A support to everyone else.
Given the alternative she faces back home, learning to come to terms with that doesn't look so bad. When she smiles, it's half-hearted. But it's an attempt to show that she understands she's the support that so many people rely on.]
Come on. [She quietly requests, turning away from the wall to head toward the door. They won't be taking the window out.]
The mines are waiting for us.
[She doesn't have to justify her existence to him. She doesn't need to try and convince either of them that she has a place here. It's okay to simply be herself for now, and not strive to be anything more than just Clara.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
you brought extra didn't you?
no subject
（ text does not convey his exasperation, alas. ）
In that case, I will come to your room.
（ please don't ask how he knows where you're staying, clara, it's one of those ninja things. actually, it's probably just an itachi thing because he's a nosy infomodding ho.
but he does show up at her wwwwwwindow??? about ten minutes later. he's dressed all in dark colours, and raps politely on the glass.
what are doors? don't know her. ）
no subject
The small space is shared with the Doctor, and Clara's taken great care to try and keep the space as tidy as possible. Which is a feat given how many little things the Doctor's already picked up. One of those things is a hat. A nice cowboy hat that she is attempting to balance on her head when he enters. She's been dying for the chance to wear the right outfit for a hat.
And here he is, with trousers. Perfect western wear.]
Did I tell you I was staying here?
[She acts as she admires her reflection in the glass of the window before looking over to him.]
no subject
（ is he going to elaborate? also no. instead, he just unslings a bag from his shoulder and holds out a pair of pants. it's not a pair that matches the custom here, he has found the odd, starched and pressed clothing to lack the comfort and range of motion of his own clothing.
(also, he hates cowboy boots. and loafers. and anything that isn't his own silicon-soled sandals that enable him to be whisper-quiet when he walks.)
luckily, as shinobi are want to do, he came prepared.
he does, at least, turn his back to afford her privacy as she changes. he doesn't entirely lack social grace, thank you, even if nakedness or near-nakedness are not things that remotely trouble him regardless of one's sex. ）
no subject
Once she's dressed in his trousers and one of her shirts, she goes to look around through the Doctor's things until she can find a pair of suspenders. Of course he'll have some here. They're put on to help hold up the pants, and as she passes by the mirror on her way to grab her normal boots that she's used to running around in, she has to admit that she looks good.
She takes a moment to braid her hair and pull it back out of the way, clearing her throat so he can turn around.]
Before we go, there's something I want to show you.
[In the back wall of the small room there's a bedsheet hanging up. She goes to pull it down, revealing tons of handwritten notes and sketches she's done up since arriving. It's all nicely arranged with pins and string connecting people in town together, Clara's first mission conspiracy web of information. The name Branson is written in large letters on a piece of paper in the center of her web, circled about five or six times.]
As soon as we figure out the family's exact connection to the mines and what happened a year ago, I think it'll all piece together nicely.
no subject
Hm.
（ it's a low, speculative sound. not particularly impressed or unimpressed, nor even faintly surprised. ）
Your investigative work is thorough, and I appreciate that an immense amount of effort has gone into producing this.
（ there is a 'BUT' looming here, and itachi has all the social graces of a battering ram, so he doesn't bother to cushion it in any respect, just continues onwards like a man reading a phonebook. ）
That said, please do not keep notes or records in this way on any future missions. We are in much less danger here — as I doubt any of the simulacrums in the town would have the presence of mind to visit us, much less search our things — but this manner of record keeping could be a death sentence to you on a world where we are under any amount of surveillance. If visualization is a necessary part of your investigative process and cannot be left undone, I will teach you code and ciphers when we return to the Ximilia.
no subject
Seriously? You really must think I'm stupid.
[Because that is a valid concern, she doesn't give him time to respond. she just pushes forward and keeps talking, trying to keep her offense to a minimum. Which is hard to do when she really feels like she's being called stupid and she knows she's typically very clever.]
I have a notebook I use. Or visualize what isn't safe to write down. I wouldn't do something like this on a mission where the stakes were higher.
[you know what?
he's not allowed to look at this anymore. she points over toward the window.]
Meet me downstairs.
no subject
Notebooks can be stolen.
（ clara, pls to be having a basic awareness of your tiny, fragile... human-ness. ）
I do not think you stupid. （ he gestures to the wall. ） You've uncovered several things I was unaware of. In that respect, I am impressed. However — I do think you are naïve and inexperienced. Neither of those traits are bad things in and of themselves, you simply need an opportunity to learn.
no subject
Yeah, well, this is only my fourth mission. It takes time to become as skilled and useful as you are.
[She's still so stunned by his lack of meeting her downstairs that she can only stare over at him for a few moments before turning away. It's unusual for her to encounter people who challenge her as much as he does on a regular basis. In some aspects, it's a relief. A breath of fresh air. And in others, it's completely frustrating.]
no subject
（ he has... complicated Feelings about people doing that. so much of his life was lived with the understanding and knowledge that he was deliberately dragging sasuke into his shadow and keeping him in the darkness there. he existed as an obstacle that his little brother needed to overcome, and died to that end.
but no one, least of all someone like clara, should ever see him as remotely aspirational, even if only for his skills and knowledge. both have come at terrible cost. ）
I know you will continue to improve. What I say is not meant as an attack.
no subject
It's been hard to try and be as useful as the rest of you.
[She can admit that much, in a voice that's soft and vulnerable and not at all the usual bravado she faces the world with. The mask slips away, showing her uncertainty and her fears more clearly.]
So I dove into trying to be better this time around. It's a work in progress.
[And with that, she starts to take down the things that are on the wall. Thankfully there's not too much. It only takes her a minute or so before the space is empty again and she looks up at it with lingering self-doubt before finally turning away.]
no subject
then: ）
It is... human nature to look for what we admire in others within ourselves, and for our ego to suffer if we find our interiority to be lacking.
（ as she studies the wall, now stripped bare, he steps up and puts a hand very briefly against her shoulder. when was the last time he provided anyone comfort like this? he cannot recall. to touch another human in the shinobi world is to offer only violence. his palm is there only briefly, a whisper of contact before it is dropped away. recompense for the hug of weeks ago. ）
But, it is important to remember that you only see of others what you are shown. That other people struggle internally just as much as you. And — to realize that you also have qualities that others envy, that they themselves do not and cannot possess. Both a knife and a chair have a use, but are poorly designed for each other's purpose. Yours is not to be useful the way I am useful. You provide emotional support, levity, kindness and humour. These things have value. They are necessary to the function of a social group. You do not need to justify your existence by dint of what you can offer and how it aligns with what others are capable of. You are allowed to be here.
（ his voice is solemn, possessed of a depth that rings like a sonorous bell. there is no emotion in it — then, there so rarely is with him. he is too well-accustomed to burying it. but he is... trying. to choose kindness. ）
no subject
Has she been waiting to hear something along the lines of that? Did she feel like she needed permission to be allowed to feel the same as everyone else that has a special niche talent that they contribute? Clara doesn't have a confidence problem, she knows that much. What she's had in recent months is trouble finding her footing when attempting to help obtain the orbs.
Kindness and support are wonderful, but they don't bring orbs back to the station. And maybe accepting the fact that she's best suited for emotional support and levity means she has to come to terms with the fact that she's regulated to being part of the background here.
A sidekick. A support to everyone else.
Given the alternative she faces back home, learning to come to terms with that doesn't look so bad. When she smiles, it's half-hearted. But it's an attempt to show that she understands she's the support that so many people rely on.]
Come on. [She quietly requests, turning away from the wall to head toward the door. They won't be taking the window out.]
The mines are waiting for us.
[She doesn't have to justify her existence to him. She doesn't need to try and convince either of them that she has a place here. It's okay to simply be herself for now, and not strive to be anything more than just Clara.]