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[blackfire]

// うちは

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XIMILIA

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[firstroar]

I very likely shall. All the psionic power I may have left will be of no use if I cannot reach where I must be.

[blackfire]

（ that is... an oddly ominous statement, if he is to unpack it. ）

Is it a finite resource?

[firstroar]

As finite as I am. It is an extension of myself, just as my eyes or limbs are.

[blackfire]

（ hm. ）

Your condition is deteriorating, isn't it?

（ from one terminally ill motherfucker to another. ）

[firstroar]

Yes.
I was meant to die before I came here. I had already expunged most of my power moments before. Had Sabriel not found me as swiftly as she had, I very well may have done so right then and there.

[blackfire]

How many are aware of this?

[firstroar]

[there's a pause so Blue can give it some thought.]

I don't know how explicitly I have spoken of it until now. It seemed obvious to those who have had to help me.
But perhaps not. [goddamn humans and their goddamn flippy-floppy levels of insight]

[blackfire]

（ he knew something was Up but attributed it to, idk, maybe the mu are just frail babies??? ）

A great many humans prefer denial to cold reality.

You have strong bonds here. I do not think any of them would be pleased to lose you.

[firstroar]

I don't want to lose them, either.
But I don't think there is much that can stop that.
Something in my being wished me to be here, to address the regrets of my life...do I simply set that aside for my own safety?
It's a question I must continue to seek the answer to while also trying to help those I have come to care very much for.

[blackfire]

Speak with the Doctor.

（ hopefully he does not have to specify......... which one... ）

Your regret will be irrelevant if you do not live to see it changed.

[firstroar]

[smashing x to doubt in rapid succession because what is there even to doooo that isn't invasive mechanical stuff!!!!]

I can do that. [for all the good it'll do!!!!!]

[blackfire]

（ hey, at least he's not a hypocrite. ）

Do.

You are a valuable resource. Regardless of the effect it would have on the crew's morale, the loss of your skills would make it difficult to proceed with our mission.

[firstroar]

You sound more rational than Viveca was.

[blackfire]

Being able to set aside one's emotions is not always a strength.

（ it's his usual deflection from anything that seems like it may be complimentary. itachi can rationalize that he is pragmatic and ruthless and altogether capable of functioning with no more mercy in his soul than any machine, and yet — it is a double-edged knife, and it has gotten him here. ）

[firstroar]

Someone like myself wouldn't really know how to do that, I think.

[blackfire]

No.

I imagine you are more in danger of being overwhelmed by them than the reverse.

[firstroar]

My threshold is significantly higher than most because of it, and so far the collective emotional vibrations on this vessel are something I can handle. [he says, days before getting nuked by precursor brain goblins.]

[blackfire]

I've no doubt.

Your strength was not in question. If you were otherwise, you would not have been able to enter my dreams.

[firstroar]

Is such mental protection necessary in your world?

[blackfire]

（ once you attain a certain level of power, people wish to kill you not simply for the bounty on your head, or the cruelties you have left littered in your wake. they want the prestige. they want the name. how many such individuals has he left a burnt-out, catatonic husk in the years since leaving konoha? the number never seemed relevant, before. ）

A shinobi's life is dangerous. One takes what protections they can to mitigate the inherent risks.

[firstroar]

You are hunted as well?

[blackfire]

（ what diD HE SAY ABOUT PERCEIVING HIM. ）

I belong to a powerful clan. We have many enemies.

（ none of that is even remotely untrue at least. ）

[firstroar]

[it's called PROJECTING ONE'S OWN EXPERIENCE ON ANOTHERS, THANK YOU]

What is it your clan possesses that others want to take from you?

[blackfire]

You assume it is something we possess.

My clan has had a hand in or been at the forefront of every major war among our peoples for the past two hundred years. Vengeance, jealousy, hatred... any one of those is reason enough.

[firstroar]

A kind of military power, then?