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[blackfire]

// うちは

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[blackfire]

（ he reaches out to take the box with none of the uncertainty or hesitance that a man only newly blind would not have, and then reaches to put it on the desk behind him. ）

I apologize, I do not have much appetite at the moment.

（ he has obediently taken the medical cocktail mccoy has given him, and one of the side-effects is just enough nausea he has no interest in food. ）

But I appreciate your coming.

[firstroar]

[mildly:] It's alright. If you do decide to try them later...and you find them too poorly made, I won't be offended. My experience in preparing dishes for myself...is still very minimal, after all. And I couldn't taste-test.

[basically: don't get food poisoning on his account, even if that's unlikely from the world's most bland dango.]

[blackfire]

I doubt they are inedible.

（ ninja food on missions... not great. ）

How are you faring?

[firstroar]

[after a pause:] ...The stability of this place...helps. I still can't...predict when it happens. When my sense will fail. But...it seems to vanish for...predictable lengths of time.

[blackfire]

Do you expect it will persist when we are next deployed?

（ regardless of sentiment, his first thought is always for functionality. for the mission. ）

[firstroar]

Yes.

According to Viveca...it was the price that had to be paid.

[blackfire]

At least we are aware of such a possibility going forwards.

（ the pragmatist in him wonders if sabriel should have left him dead. but he is... glad that she did not. ）

There may be a pattern to the 'when' that you aren't seeing yet. Please keep track and let me know.

[firstroar]

[his mouth quirks, unseen.]

I will try. But there is...a very real chance that whatever I can do now...will mean very little. And it will become a matter of...keeping from holding you and everyone back.

[he's not the only one who wonders if Sabriel should've left him dead.]

[blackfire]

（ he shrugs. ）

Your value does not only lie in that. You have as much right to be here as any of us do — you will find another way to contribute.

[firstroar]

[a soft sound.]

Others...would say so, too. [so he hopes it's true.] For now...trying to harbor power, to stabilize...that's been my effort.

[blackfire]

I'm sorry.

（ for the difficulty. for the cost. ）

Have you conferred with Sabriel-san since our return?

[firstroar]

Not yet. But now that I can...move from the infirmary...I mean to see her. I need to know...if she had a cost of her own.

[blackfire]

Given that it was her choice and not yours, I find it unlikely she would have escaped the consequences. It is possible her price is even steeper than your own.

（ the orbs are cruel and capricious. they want to take, and take, and take — and he suspects that they would not spare anyone who slighted them. ）

[firstroar]

[a dreadful notion, one that carves a heavy pit in his stomach.]

Have you...spoken to her? Since returning.

[blackfire]

No.

（ his tendency, when ill and at his most vulnerable, is to withdraw from all connection. he has not deliberately spoken to anyone who is not essential to his surgery. in this, he has been selfish. ）

[firstroar]

[more's the reason to worry about her; she'd be the one reaching out, after all.

hm...]

I'll reach out to her. And find out.

[blackfire]

（ he makes a soft sound of affirmation, and then: ）

Do you regret it?

[firstroar]

If I've done her some long-lasting harm... [he exhales.] I'll regret that.

[blackfire]

If long-lasting harm has come to her, it is her own doing. You did not ask for resurrection. What she did was foolish and rash and wholly of her own volition. Do not take responsibility for her actions.

（ his tone is perhaps a little sharp. ）

[firstroar]

I can still lament the role I played in that choice, Itachi. It may change nothing...but even so...

[even so, he can't force himself to feel differently, right or wrong.]

[blackfire]

Of course. Your feelings are your own.

（ guess who has a lot of feelings about being at fault or not for things? this boy, yeah. ）

But it is still not your fault.

[firstroar]

[Blue doesn't answer aloud, but perhaps pensive silence is answer enough. he folds his hands in his lap, quietly acknowledging the cocktail of emotions he needs to settle with somehow.]

I won't linger much longer... Just. Let me sit for a moment...

[blackfire]

（ hm. ）

There is no time limit on your being here, Blue. If my company eases your condition, you may stay.

（ it is not an offer made lightly — itachi dislikes being in other people's company when he is vulnerable, which blue doubtless has deduced. but blue is — as close to a friend as he has had in many years, and it draws him to concession. ）

[firstroar]

[Blue looks over, trying to gauge that response with what little he can glean. funny...even with psionics, he's still mostly a wall - a wall he can perceive more is behind, but all the same...

somehow, Itachi is a consistent kind of presence amidst the tumultuous changes.

that said, there's a soft exhale and a slight shifting sound to make it clear the Mu isn't going anywhere in a hurry.]

...Thank you. Itachi.

[blackfire]

（ he rises gracefully from the makeshift futon, moving about his room with the easy precision of the sighted. there is a spare blanket in one cabinet, worn but soft, and he brings it to the bed, holding it out. ）

You have done your best to mitigate my discomfort in our time together. I can only offer the same.