（ he tips his head to one side and now that the movie is over (he did not wish to chew over the dialogue, as much as it annoyed him) he reaches for another of those little wrapped russian sweets. ）
（ not quite death, as he understands it. but close. ）
I'm sorry, returning must have been a considerable shock.
（ how much would a world change, with half its people gone? how poorly would it cope? it is different, it sounds, than war. deleted, she said. but not erased entirely, not snuffed out of all existence from the memories of others. just gone. it is a horrifying thing to consider, and he is no stranger to what evokes horror. ）
Your sister — the girl with the blue hair, correct?
（ logic follows. he understands deep cover missions better than most — but it is not unheard of for shinobi to infiltrate other villages as refugees of war in family units either. ）
But she was aware. I see.
（ he takes his time unwrapping this new treat, and then chews it thoughtfully as he considers this entire line of awareness. ）
Well, time travel was involved, if you can believe it.
[She's not sure where Itachi’s world stands with that kind of thing. Though, the concept of time travel might seem less weird here on the Ximilia than in most places, actually.]
Okay, well, since Thanos apparently could not stop himself from destroying things, he also destroyed the Infinity Stones. So, in order to undo what happened Natasha and her superhero friends had to go back in time to gather them again.
[She pauses and frowns at her soda as she considers what she just said.]
…It is very convoluted, when I say it out loud like that.
[She's quiet for a long time at that. She doesn't eat or drink anything, she just stares ahead at the now blank movie screen.]
Sometimes I am proud. Sometimes I am angry. I went to the bathroom for a minute and I come out and five years have passed and my sister is dead. How does someone process that?
[Though she can say with some confidence that attempted murder doesn't help much.]
Coping is... a cog that exists within scope of the （ his expression ticks faintly — he doesn't like speaking so inelegantly, but — ） 'process'. But surviving on any level is still moving forward, and processing does not necessarily mean that you are doing it well.
（ he is tired of sitting here in this dark theatre environment, so he accesses the simulation room interface with his earpiece, idly scrolling through other possibilities, and settles on a lush, expansive forest. it's not a combat simulation, at least? ）
[She watches the scene shift from a movie theater to a forest. She can see how this is more pleasant, though she is still holding her soda and snacks. Apparently they are having a picnic now.
She sniffs a little at the question. This is a difficult one for her to answer because it's so broad and because she is very acutely aware of how little time she actually had with Natasha.]
（ it's quaint. childish. the sort of thing that was perhaps formative in her youth and was never overwritten by adulthood. he does not immediately know what to say, if only because he does not know if she realizes how much that statement reveals.
[She may not realize it, but she also wasn’t trying to hide the fact that she hadn’t gotten much time with Natasha. She tilts her head a little at the question and looks at him, curious.]
Would you say that we are friends, Itachi?
[It might seem like an odd question, maybe a little out of nowhere. But she means it honestly and isn’t trying to be combative. She doesn’t mean to put him on the spot. She genuinely likes him, but suspects things like friendship are even harder for him than they are for her.
And the only other person Natasha shared the whistle with was her best friend. Yelena might have issues with Clint Barton but she could no longer deny that there was mutual love and respect between him and her sister. Even if it’s childish, Yelena feels like there should be some sort of understanding of trust before sharing the whistle herself.]
（ if the question catches him off-guard, it isn't evident. nothing of his mien or posture changes. he is simply stone-silent for a time, with the sense that he is considering what she is saying more than being deliberately recalcitrant.
finally: ）
I do not know.
（ 'friendship' is, as she suspects, a difficult concept. he has not thought of anyone in that way for nearly a decade. shisui stood in that place for him, and was peerless there.
yelena has been kind to him. obnoxiously so in one notable instance. but they have an understanding of one another, born of shared life experience that many others aboard the ximilia lack. but is that friendship? it has been mostly tolerance to this point. he tilts his head curiously, and then: ）
I am not averse to being so. But such labels are... at odds, with much of my life.
[She nods a little in agreement and eats some candy. She's not surprised he gets it. And in a way, she is excited to talk about it with someone from a similar background, who might understand.
Other people have expressed sympathy about her past, and she appreciates that but that's not the same as actually understanding the experience. ]
In the Red Room sometimes, we would have to kill each other to pass a test and move forward with training. To continue existing. It is hard to make friends in that situation. And harder keep them.
I am free now, so I can make friends, but it's tricky. I don't always think like other people. And trust is hard, you know? Both giving it and earning it.
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I know, right? I agree with you. With those stones…he could have created more resources, you know? He could have done anything. He chose to destroy.
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（ he tips his head to one side and now that the movie is over (he did not wish to chew over the dialogue, as much as it annoyed him) he reaches for another of those little wrapped russian sweets. ）
So his actions were undone?
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Yes. My sister and her friends fixed it.
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（ not quite death, as he understands it. but close. ）
I'm sorry, returning must have been a considerable shock.
（ how much would a world change, with half its people gone? how poorly would it cope? it is different, it sounds, than war. deleted, she said. but not erased entirely, not snuffed out of all existence from the memories of others. just gone. it is a horrifying thing to consider, and he is no stranger to what evokes horror. ）
Your sister — the girl with the blue hair, correct?
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[And honestly that feels like an understatement.
She smiles faintly, rueful, when he mentions the blue hair.]
Her hair was red, actually. I think she dyed it blue in Ohio because she had the freedom to do it then.
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It was... an intercession in your training?
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No. Not exactly. It was an undercover mission, but I was too young to know.
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（ logic follows. he understands deep cover missions better than most — but it is not unheard of for shinobi to infiltrate other villages as refugees of war in family units either. ）
But she was aware. I see.
（ he takes his time unwrapping this new treat, and then chews it thoughtfully as he considers this entire line of awareness. ）
How was it she came to reverse this 'deletion'?
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[She's not sure where Itachi’s world stands with that kind of thing. Though, the concept of time travel might seem less weird here on the Ximilia than in most places, actually.]
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I believe I am capable of grasping the concept.
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[She pauses and frowns at her soda as she considers what she just said.]
…It is very convoluted, when I say it out loud like that.
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Convoluted is one word for it, I suppose.
（ honestly, he pulls chakra monsters out of people on the reg' so it's not like he's one to call something unfeasible, ridiculous, or 5/10 stars.
he gives her a long, curious look. then: ）
I'm sure you must be very proud of what she accomplished. Your sister.
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Sometimes I am proud. Sometimes I am angry. I went to the bathroom for a minute and I come out and five years have passed and my sister is dead. How does someone process that?
[Though she can say with some confidence that attempted murder doesn't help much.]
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（ ask him about his nonpareil coping skills, yelena. ）
How long ago was this, for you?
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About…a year and a half. Maybe a little more.
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（ he shrugs faintly, a slight uptick of one shoulder. ）
Grief is... messy. There is no any one way to cope.
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[Because she's pretty sure you can have coping without processing.]
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（ he is tired of sitting here in this dark theatre environment, so he accesses the simulation room interface with his earpiece, idly scrolling through other possibilities, and settles on a lush, expansive forest. it's not a combat simulation, at least? ）
Tell me about her.
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She sniffs a little at the question. This is a difficult one for her to answer because it's so broad and because she is very acutely aware of how little time she actually had with Natasha.]
What...do you want to know?
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（ a simple place to start, not terribly obtrusive. ）
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Eventually she rubs her eyes and replies:]
She taught me to whistle. And then she taught me a specific whistle to use when we were separated, so we could find each other.
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at length: ）
What was it? The whistle.
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Would you say that we are friends, Itachi?
[It might seem like an odd question, maybe a little out of nowhere. But she means it honestly and isn’t trying to be combative. She doesn’t mean to put him on the spot. She genuinely likes him, but suspects things like friendship are even harder for him than they are for her.
And the only other person Natasha shared the whistle with was her best friend. Yelena might have issues with Clint Barton but she could no longer deny that there was mutual love and respect between him and her sister. Even if it’s childish, Yelena feels like there should be some sort of understanding of trust before sharing the whistle herself.]
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finally: ）
I do not know.
（ 'friendship' is, as she suspects, a difficult concept. he has not thought of anyone in that way for nearly a decade. shisui stood in that place for him, and was peerless there.
yelena has been kind to him. obnoxiously so in one notable instance. but they have an understanding of one another, born of shared life experience that many others aboard the ximilia lack. but is that friendship? it has been mostly tolerance to this point. he tilts his head curiously, and then: ）
I am not averse to being so. But such labels are... at odds, with much of my life.
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[She nods a little in agreement and eats some candy. She's not surprised he gets it. And in a way, she is excited to talk about it with someone from a similar background, who might understand.
Other people have expressed sympathy about her past, and she appreciates that but that's not the same as actually understanding the experience. ]
In the Red Room sometimes, we would have to kill each other to pass a test and move forward with training. To continue existing. It is hard to make friends in that situation. And harder keep them.
I am free now, so I can make friends, but it's tricky. I don't always think like other people. And trust is hard, you know? Both giving it and earning it.
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