It’s…it’s a SpongeBob movie. The first one specifically. But it’s SpongeBob. It’s a cartoon for kids. Probably not really Itachi’s thing. Like at all. But at least there’s candy?]
he does not like the opening refrain. he does not like the way they frame a customer's order being wrong as being analogous in any way to a hostage situation. the frivolity and irreverence of it are deeply irritating, and his mouth is a thin line for the entirety of the movie's duration. he does not move, nor reach for any more of the candy or drinks. just does as he'd told yelena he would, watches it, and as the final credits roll through: ）
I fail to see why the defining characteristics of his pants merit it being a surname.
[Truth be told, this is the first time Yelena has ever really watched SpongeBob, herself. This wasn’t among the cartoons they were shown in the Red Room. Not enough propaganda here. She kind of likes it, though. Sure, it's dumb. But it’s goofy and lighthearted, which is kind of nice after the last mission and her little trip home. And she is part of the generation the show was aimed at, even if she missed it during her childhood. Seeing it now feels a little like capturing a piece of what was lost for a moment.
She can tell Itachi is unimpressed. She’s honestly not surprised by that, but she appreciates him seeing it through.]
Actually, that’s a good point. What if someone in his family doesn’t wear pants.
[She takes a moment to think about that. She decides to be honest about it rather than blowing it off, since he was nice enough to watch a whole SpongeBob movie.]
I am still figuring it out. We didn't have a lot of free access to movies in the Red Room, so I have about twenty years to catch up on. Plus five more thanks to a purple alien deleting half of existence for five years.
[Fuck Thanos, tbh.]
I still like some of the things from my childhood, I think. Disney movies and...oh! The Princess Bride. Newt held a viewing of that awhile back, but it was before you arrived.
[This isn't her area of expertise, so she struggles for a moment to find the right way to explain.]
Well, I guess they are a little like the orbs. Powerful relics that were scattered through the universe. Even individually they are very strong, but if someone brings them all together they become unstoppable. They can do anything. Like wiping out half of all life in the universe.
Well, I never spoke with him myself. But apparently, he thought there were too many people in the universe and we were all stretching its resources too thin.
[She makes a face because it really does sound absurdly excessive when she says it out loud. She huffs.]
（ most wars in the shinobi world are fought over resources, or revenge. he understands it in that respect — but then, the universe is an infinite place, expanding ever outward. ）
While it is a possibility that the universe will eventually reach a point where its resources are unable to sustain its population, that seems... short-sighted.
（ this man will tell thanos he's a dumbass to his actual face, tbqh. ）
（ he tips his head to one side and now that the movie is over (he did not wish to chew over the dialogue, as much as it annoyed him) he reaches for another of those little wrapped russian sweets. ）
（ not quite death, as he understands it. but close. ）
I'm sorry, returning must have been a considerable shock.
（ how much would a world change, with half its people gone? how poorly would it cope? it is different, it sounds, than war. deleted, she said. but not erased entirely, not snuffed out of all existence from the memories of others. just gone. it is a horrifying thing to consider, and he is no stranger to what evokes horror. ）
Your sister — the girl with the blue hair, correct?
（ logic follows. he understands deep cover missions better than most — but it is not unheard of for shinobi to infiltrate other villages as refugees of war in family units either. ）
But she was aware. I see.
（ he takes his time unwrapping this new treat, and then chews it thoughtfully as he considers this entire line of awareness. ）
Well, time travel was involved, if you can believe it.
[She's not sure where Itachi’s world stands with that kind of thing. Though, the concept of time travel might seem less weird here on the Ximilia than in most places, actually.]
Okay, well, since Thanos apparently could not stop himself from destroying things, he also destroyed the Infinity Stones. So, in order to undo what happened Natasha and her superhero friends had to go back in time to gather them again.
[She pauses and frowns at her soda as she considers what she just said.]
…It is very convoluted, when I say it out loud like that.
[She's quiet for a long time at that. She doesn't eat or drink anything, she just stares ahead at the now blank movie screen.]
Sometimes I am proud. Sometimes I am angry. I went to the bathroom for a minute and I come out and five years have passed and my sister is dead. How does someone process that?
[Though she can say with some confidence that attempted murder doesn't help much.]
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As you wish.
[And so the movie starts.
It’s…it’s a SpongeBob movie. The first one specifically. But it’s SpongeBob. It’s a cartoon for kids. Probably not really Itachi’s thing. Like at all. But at least there’s candy?]
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he does not like the opening refrain. he does not like the way they frame a customer's order being wrong as being analogous in any way to a hostage situation. the frivolity and irreverence of it are deeply irritating, and his mouth is a thin line for the entirety of the movie's duration. he does not move, nor reach for any more of the candy or drinks. just does as he'd told yelena he would, watches it, and as the final credits roll through: ）
I fail to see why the defining characteristics of his pants merit it being a surname.
（ yes. his takeaway. ）
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She can tell Itachi is unimpressed. She’s honestly not surprised by that, but she appreciates him seeing it through.]
Actually, that’s a good point. What if someone in his family doesn’t wear pants.
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he makes a soft sound, and shakes his head. ）
Is this how people bond in your world, Yelena-san?
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[She shrugs, but then after a moment of thought she adds:]
Although, usually people decide on a movie they would both enjoy. Or that the entire group would enjoy, if there are more than two.
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（ do not say fucking spongebob, yelena. ）
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I am still figuring it out. We didn't have a lot of free access to movies in the Red Room, so I have about twenty years to catch up on. Plus five more thanks to a purple alien deleting half of existence for five years.
[Fuck Thanos, tbh.]
I still like some of the things from my childhood, I think. Disney movies and...oh! The Princess Bride. Newt held a viewing of that awhile back, but it was before you arrived.
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'Deleted half of existence'? How was this done?
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[This isn't her area of expertise, so she struggles for a moment to find the right way to explain.]
Well, I guess they are a little like the orbs. Powerful relics that were scattered through the universe. Even individually they are very strong, but if someone brings them all together they become unstoppable. They can do anything. Like wiping out half of all life in the universe.
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Why?
（ that seems excessive. for any possible reason except chaos and suffering. ）
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[She makes a face because it really does sound absurdly excessive when she says it out loud. She huffs.]
...Something like that.
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While it is a possibility that the universe will eventually reach a point where its resources are unable to sustain its population, that seems... short-sighted.
（ this man will tell thanos he's a dumbass to his actual face, tbqh. ）
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I know, right? I agree with you. With those stones…he could have created more resources, you know? He could have done anything. He chose to destroy.
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（ he tips his head to one side and now that the movie is over (he did not wish to chew over the dialogue, as much as it annoyed him) he reaches for another of those little wrapped russian sweets. ）
So his actions were undone?
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Yes. My sister and her friends fixed it.
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（ not quite death, as he understands it. but close. ）
I'm sorry, returning must have been a considerable shock.
（ how much would a world change, with half its people gone? how poorly would it cope? it is different, it sounds, than war. deleted, she said. but not erased entirely, not snuffed out of all existence from the memories of others. just gone. it is a horrifying thing to consider, and he is no stranger to what evokes horror. ）
Your sister — the girl with the blue hair, correct?
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[And honestly that feels like an understatement.
She smiles faintly, rueful, when he mentions the blue hair.]
Her hair was red, actually. I think she dyed it blue in Ohio because she had the freedom to do it then.
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It was... an intercession in your training?
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No. Not exactly. It was an undercover mission, but I was too young to know.
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（ logic follows. he understands deep cover missions better than most — but it is not unheard of for shinobi to infiltrate other villages as refugees of war in family units either. ）
But she was aware. I see.
（ he takes his time unwrapping this new treat, and then chews it thoughtfully as he considers this entire line of awareness. ）
How was it she came to reverse this 'deletion'?
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[She's not sure where Itachi’s world stands with that kind of thing. Though, the concept of time travel might seem less weird here on the Ximilia than in most places, actually.]
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I believe I am capable of grasping the concept.
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[She pauses and frowns at her soda as she considers what she just said.]
…It is very convoluted, when I say it out loud like that.
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Convoluted is one word for it, I suppose.
（ honestly, he pulls chakra monsters out of people on the reg' so it's not like he's one to call something unfeasible, ridiculous, or 5/10 stars.
he gives her a long, curious look. then: ）
I'm sure you must be very proud of what she accomplished. Your sister.
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Sometimes I am proud. Sometimes I am angry. I went to the bathroom for a minute and I come out and five years have passed and my sister is dead. How does someone process that?
[Though she can say with some confidence that attempted murder doesn't help much.]
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